


My Amaranthine

by asennnaa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A Dash of Cayak, Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Friends, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up Together, Heavy Angst, Lotor Thinks Allura's Dead For 10k Years, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Lotor (Voltron), Relationship Problems, Secret Marriage, Smut But Way Later, Soulmates, dual timelines, flashbacks to childhood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:04:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 48,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asennnaa/pseuds/asennnaa
Summary: They had grown up together. Every beautiful, joyous memory had been spent with her in the fields and castles of Altea. All of these were the memories Lotor carried with him through the several lonely millennia after the destruction. He pushed forward for them, for peace, for Altea, and for her.And now Allura still lives, carrying on her father’s legacy. And with her, a few other surprises. The fire of Altea that was burning inside him is no longer Lotor’s to bear alone. It could destroy everything or it could be the light that guides to a longed-for peace...





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> And here we are! Two years of planning of writing and scratching ideas, I deliver forth my baby. Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to keep going with this idea. And thank you Ellie for the months and months of RPing out the most ridiculous scenarios for me to get down exactly what I wanted. Sorry for the sucky summary, I'm terrible at them. Please enjoy and there is more to come!

_ The first time he’d ever seen her, she was sitting in a field of juniberries, making a wish on one... _

_ Lotor had wandered a little too far from the castle, but he couldn’t help it. From the moment that his feet had touched the ground, attendants had begun fussing over him. Not that he wasn’t grateful for the warm reception, but it was beginning to smother him. If his spartan upbringing had given him anything at all, it had given him independence. _

_ Altea was so beautiful, so different from his own homeworld. Here, there were expanses of green that stretched into the horizon. There were mountains to the south and west. He could hear the distant sound of waves crashing onto the shore. _

_ He wandered a bit up one of the foothills. The trek up was long but nothing even his little legs couldn’t handle. He was free. Actually free for the first time in his young life and he intended to take advantage of it _

_ There were winds and twists along the path, but it hardly mattered. The sight before him snatched his breath. The famed and sweet smelling juniberry flowers covered the slope of the hill. The flowers stretched all the way down into the valley, onto the shores of a small lake. _

_ But he didn’t stare for long because his eyes wandered a little ways down the slopes. There she was, quite possibly the loveliest girl that he’d ever laid eyes on. From the white waves of hair and tiara on her head, she could only be Altea’s princess. Lotor couldn’t help but stare. It was rude, he knew. He found himself drawn, but he wanted a closer look. _

_ Now Lotor had mastered stealth at a young age and the princess seemed lost in her thoughts. In his mind, the valley, the mountain, and the flowers didn’t even compare. He inched ever closer, being as quiet as he could be. _

_ Until he heard the crack of a stem underneath his feet and saw her ears twitch. He had little time to flinch before he saw her head snap in his direction. Her smile had disappeared, replaced with a hard frown. Her eyes narrowed. _

_ “Who are you?” she demanded and Lotor found that he could not properly form words to answer her question. Her frown only deepened. _

_ “I asked...who are you?” _

_ Finally, words became unstuck from his throat. They were not the answer to her question, “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to intrude…” _

_ She stood up, her brows coming together. _

_ “That is not what I asked. Who are you? What are you doing here?” _

_ ‘Speak Lotor, speak!’ his head screamed at him but he only kept staring and he gulped. And his feet seemed to have a mind of their own because they seemed to move backwards. _

_ Everything happened so fast because in the next tick, Lotor had been knocked off his feet and onto his back. She was scowling now. He hated how his first thought was how lovely she looked even still. _

_ “Who are you? Who sent you? I demand to know!” she growled. Lotor swallowed one more lump in his throat _

_ “Lo-Lotor!” he squeaked, finally willing himself to speak. _

_ The look on her face changed to that of confusion. A few ticks passed in silence. _

_ “Lotor? That is the name of the Prince of the Galra,” she responded before the realization dawned on her. _

_ “Oh stars!” she squealed before jumping back a few inches and offering her hand. He took it without hesitation. _

_ “I’m so sorry! I have been told for phoebs that you were coming and I had completely forgotten!” she apologized profusely, her words coming out rapidly. _

_ Lotor smoothed out his clothing, dusting off the specs of dirt. He was taken aback when the princess dropped into a curtsy. _

_ “Forgive me, Prince Lotor…” _

_ Lotor blinked, “Please don’t apologize, Princess. I was the one intruding on you. And please, call me Lotor.” _

_ Allura straightened out, a look of relief spread across her face as a small smile appeared. _

_ ‘Beautiful…’ he thought. _

_ “Lotor,” she sounded out. Even his name sounded like the sweetest tune in her voice. _

_ He was pretty sure that he was blushing. In turn, he bowed. _

_ “It is an honor to meet you, Princess.” _

_ She giggled then, a small, perfect sound. _

_ “What is it?” he asked, coming up in confusion. _

_ “Are you always so formal?” she asked, her smile growing wider. _

_ Yes, he was blushing. He was absolutely sure of that. _

_ “I...it is what I have been taught. Forgive me,” he responded. _

_ She could see how nervous he was, he could see it in her eyes. Her eyes. Strikingly blue, with a speckle of pink in the center. Was it possible for the universe to create someone so beautiful? _

_ “You don’t have to be so formal with me, Lotor. Please call me Allura,” she reassured. _

_ “...Lula,” he said instead. Lotor squeezed his eyes shut and internally scolded himself for it. His fangs were big and he had had so much trouble saying her name, even before he had left Daibazaal. The amount of whacks that Dayak had given him hadn’t been enough. This was embarrassing. She would be displeased with him. _

_ Instead, the smile remained on her face. _

_ “Lula...I like that!” she said cheerfully, catching the young prince completely off guard. She...liked it? She was pleased? A warm feeling seemed to blossom in his chest at that moment and he found himself returning her smile. _

_ “Lula,” he repeated with a little more confidence. Her smile grew. _

_ “...Lu…?” and she let out another giggle. “You like it? Truly?” _

_ “I do! Very much, they both sound so pretty!” she responded sincerely. _

_ He reached out his hand and for a moment she stared before grabbing onto it with her own. She seemed deep in thought as she stared. _

_ “Hmm, your claws,” she mused and Lotor flushed once more. _

_ “I’m sorry, they only come out when-” _

_ “-you’re nervous,” she finished. She understood and she wasn’t angry. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t jeer. She didn’t taunt. She only nodded thoughtfully. _

_ She smiled kindly at him then, “I understand. You don’t have to be nervous around me, Lotor. I want to be your friend…” _

_ Friend. The word was a simple one but it meant everything. _

_ It was involuntary but he squeezed her hand. She didn’t let go, instead she gripped tighter. _

_ “I want that as well,” he responded, returning her smile. _

_ The warmth that had been in his chest spread to the rest of his body. A warmth as if he were home… _

* * *

Lotor opened his eyes. Before him was the same view. The same mountains, the same juniberries, the same lake before him…

Except her. She wasn’t there and reality cruelly came crashing down on him once more. He wasn’t on Altea. He was on the holodeck of his ship, reliving a more joyous time. 

The millennia has dulled him to the pain but the fragments of his broken heart remained as heavy as ever. His Altean Princess, his beautiful Lula, only lived on in his memories. 

Those deca-phoebs had been the most brilliant, the most beautiful and he clung to them by the claws. All the joy and goodness that he had known was gone, vaporized with Altea and her. Every beautiful memory, from the day he had met Allura to the day they had exchanged secret vows existed now within the realm of his heart only. Happiness had become a stranger. 

There had been so many times that he had wanted to give up, only her memory and the memory of Altea kept him going. He would not allow its flame to burn out. 

He was in exile but that gave him plenty of time to plan, to make this right. To depose his father and to bring peace and stability back to the universe. All of that ate up his time because information was so difficult to come by. He had a few subordinates on the inside but even communication with them was scarce. Setting foot back into the Empire was suicide, so that wasn’t an option. He couldn’t die. Not yet. 

He plucked a juniberry and stared at it for a moment. He didn’t dare bring it up to his nose. She had smelled of juniberries. The juniberries and the mountains. He had mastered self-control with great difficulty but there were still things that he could still feel in the cracks of his heart. Things that he could admit that he would never move on from.

“Are there juniberries where you are now, Lu?” he whispered. “Are you at peace?” 

The simulated wind blew past him, he liked to imagine that it was her comforting touch. It blew past the flowers and the grass. He liked to believe that it was her answer. 

He set the flower down and stared blankly out into the valley. The sight used to reduce him to tears. He had numbed himself to it. It wasn’t real. All an illusion that he could escape to a few times a movement. 

He moved to wrap his arms around himself, something that he did when he knew that he was alone. He felt the necklace, the one he had given to her on their wedding day, brush against his arm underneath his gauntlet. 

He couldn’t bear to look at it. The necklace was supposed to glow with her life force and the strength of his love. It would never again. Zarkon had cruelly thrown it at him when he had been dragged into the Emperor's throne room and told. He hadn't set eyes on it since he'd wrapped it around his arm, but he couldn’t think to have it away from him. He needed to feel it there. It was both all he had left of her and a crushing reminder of her loss. He inhaled a sharp breath to fight back the sob that he knew was coming. 

He closed his eyes once more, eager to get lost in the memories. It wasn’t to last very long because his ear twitched when he heard the door to the deck open. 

He sighed, “Yes, Acxa? What news?” 

There was a momentary pause, he could tell that she was taking in the sight before her. He didn’t like to be disturbed when he was in the holodeck and he asked to be left alone unless it was urgent. Nothing of the nature ever came up, so Acxa never had to interrupt. 

She cleared her throat, “We received intel from Central Command.” 

That grabbed his attention and he stood up to face her, “What intel?” 

“Voltron. Voltron is back.” 

The words began to sink in and his eyes widened as they did. Voltron! A million thoughts and memories raced through his mind in that instant. If Voltron was back, then that meant…

“Where? How? Who?” 

His questions felt almost childlike. For the first time in millennia, he had something. Something substantial. 

“Arus. It destroyed Sendak’s fleet. After that, information gets spotty. We couldn't corroborate any of the information we've received after that.” 

Despite how little he had to go on, he had a location at the very least. A good place to hide, Arus was so primitive and such a backwater that his father had never cared to pay it any mind. It wasn’t enough to go on and returning to the Empire was still a risk. He couldn’t go himself as matters stood, but that didn’t mean that he would sit by idly either. 

“Dispatch a scout. I want to know who these paladins are, where they come from, how they found the lions, and their last known location,” he ordered, walking past her. 

“At once sir.” she responded with a fist to her chest. 

He wouldn’t wait either. There were drifters all around the Empire. They always had something to say and he would seek it out. 

_ ‘Finally, Lu, I have something. I will succeed, my love. I swear to you this. I will not fail you again…” _

Lotor moved forward. Forward was the only path he could walk and he would walk it, regardless of how long it would take. 

His feet carried him. Nothing could deter nor distract him, not even the light shining so bright from a crack in his gauntlet…


	2. The Lion Goddess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This...took longer than expected. Thank you for the comments, they motivated me to keep going! I just want to say that I took some liberties here. The Lion Goddess story is from GoLion (The Goddess of the Universe) and I put my own spin on it. Enjoy!

_ Resnal was a tall, strict looking man with an angular face. Truth be told, the first time Lotor had seen him, he was ashamed to say he was a tad frightened. On top of all that, the man smelled of something musky and Lotor had to try to keep himself from making a face about it. _

_ The old tutor was kind to him, though. Praising his efforts and every time he answered a question correctly. If he got something wrong, it wasn’t much of a problem, he’d run it by him once more. He wasn’t used to that treatment. On Daibazaal, he’d get whacked until he could do the task perfectly, even in his sleep. _

_ With Allura, however, he was the complete opposite. He wasn’t cruel by any definition of the word, but he was extremely hard on her. The princess was still learning how to read and she still stumbled over words. He didn’t hit her but the switch definitely came down hard on the table, making the poor girl flinch. Lotor wanted to tell the old man to be gentle but the look of determination in the girl’s eyes always stopped him. Even when she struggled, she tried her best. Lotor had never struggled with reading, in fact, he was self-taught. It wasn’t something one could learn through whacks or harsh words. _

_ “You are the future Queen of Altea! If you cannot read, how do you expect to rule?” he would criticize most harshly. _

_ Whenever Lotor tried to reach out and offer help, the tutor shook his head. _

_ “We all need help sometimes,” he would say. Even with Dayak’s spartan methods, she had never refused him help, even if it came in unconventional ways. _

_ “When she is Queen, she will have advisers. But she must still do it all herself. She must know how to do things without help,” he would say. _

_ Lotor disagreed with that and he would open his mouth to protest. But one look from the princess immediately stopped him from saying anything.. He hated that. _

_ Later that night, he would press his ear up against the door to hear her stumbling over the words. She would do this over and over before throwing the book against the door, startling the young prince. He contemplated going inside but he could hear her fuming and decided against it. _

_ No one could possibly learn to read with the books that Resnal would set her. They were too difficult, boring, and not engaging. Lotor could read just fine and he still had difficulty with them. He was sure if he brought such texts to King Alfor or Coran, his trusted friend, they would have had as much trouble. _

_ “A future queen must read documents and treaties and those won’t always be interesting!” the old tutor would chant like a very annoying prayer. _

_ One of these days, the young prince would say something. He didn't though. He had to behave and he had to be well-mannered. One misstep and he would be sent right back to Daibazaal. The thought wasn’t very pleasant. He didn’t want to face his father if this failed. In fact, he visibly shuddered at the prospect. _

_ Even then, he couldn’t sit idly by and watch his friend’s feelings be hurt. On top of that, her confidence was constantly being brought down. _

_ He’d had enough when he heard sniffling coming from her room. He could tell that she was trying to be discreet but still, his heart squeezed painfully. Something had to be done, he couldn't watch this in silence anymore. _

_ He was too shy to ask Alfor for anything, even though the King treating the Prince kindly. He adored Queen Melenor, but even a Queen had her duties and often they took her away from the castle. _

_ There was Coran. He was...interesting and Lotor kept his distance because the man was eccentric. And very excitable. Allura adored him, though. He was like a second father to her and for all his discomfort, he would ask. _

_ Coran was always overjoyed to see him and he couldn’t understand why. The boy sat on a chair and listened as Coran rambled on and on about the castle and how it worked. Apparently, this castle had been built by his "pop-pop." He absorbed almost none of it because Coran talked too fast. He did his best to listen, however. _

_ “So, any questions, young man?” Coran asked, twirling his mustache. _

_ Lotor thought for a moment, “Well, actually there is one. But it has nothing to do with the castle.” _

_ He looked a tad ashamed but Coran was unfazed, “Go right ahead!” _

_ He took another moment to try and find a good way to phrase it. Allura might never forgive him if he told Coran that she was having trouble with reading. He needed to find a different approach. _

_ “What’s the princess’ favorite story?” he asked. _

_ Coran seemed surprised at the question. Surely, he wouldn’t bother with that. The two of them were rarely seen together, only being able to be at lessons together. That was mainly because Resnal kept Allura for long hours till she had to be elsewhere. _

_ “Why that would probably have to be the story of The Lion Goddess…” _

_ He’d heard it. Or rather, he’d heard of it. He wasn’t really told many fairy tales, neither his father nor his governess thought that he had such time for it. _

_ “I’ve...never actually heard that story before…” he admitted. _

_ This brought on a very annotated version of the story. How Voltron had originally been a warrior that protected all beings. But it had become too arrogant so it took on the Lion Goddess herself. Voltron lost and the Goddess split the Robot into Five Lions, to serve the goddess. The paladins were chosen by the Goddess to protect the good and punish the wicked. Even Lotor had to admit that it had been a much more fun tale even if it was completely nonsense. _

_ “Is there a book or something on it?” Lotor asked. _

_ Coran, then, pointed him in the direction of the library. But it only came after a few words about how impressive it was that Lotor could already read at his age. He didn’t think it so strange but perhaps it was just his upbringing. Either way… _

_ “It may be a bit to look for it, but if you’d like I could go with you and…” _

_ Lotor shook his head and smiled politely, “That’s alright. I’ll manage…” _

_ The library was a giant room with multiple levels. He was undaunted. The library in Zarkon’s palace was not nearly so huge, the Galra were a less scholarly people, but he didn’t mind. He must’ve spent an entire quintant in there before he finally found the story. It was a rather large look but it had pictures. He had to hold it against his chest as he carried it right out of the library. _

_ A few of the servants stopped to stare, offering instead to carry it for him. He shook his head, saying that he could manage. The coddling was becoming an annoyance rather quickly. Seeing as they didn’t even treat their princess as this much of a delicate flower. _

_ It was late, close to supper. Still, he allowed his little legs to carry him all the way to Allura’s room. It wasn’t that far but this book was heavy and even he was struggling a bit. Her door was closed and he had to set the book down as he knocked. _

_ He heard a sniffle and then, “Yes? Come in!” _

_ He carefully entered the password and the door slid open. The room was dark, strange for this time of the quintant. He picked up the large book and huffing, he carried it in. _

_ “Lu? Lula?” he asked. While he could see better in the dark than anyone else on this planet, he had trouble finding her. _

_ “Lotor?” she questioned, moving a bit so that Lotor could see a shadow emerge from where he assumed the bed was. _

_ His heart painfully squeezed again as he placed the book on the side table and moved to turn the lights on. He frowned when the lights went on. _

_ There she was, in her dress, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying. He didn’t like it. Not one bit. _

_ “...Lula?” he asked, standing right on the edge of the bed. “What’s the matter?” _

_ At first she tried to deny it. Of course nothing was wrong, why would anything be wrong? But Lotor was not convinced at all. She could bury it as deep as she liked, he wasn’t so easily fooled. _

_ “...Lu, we are friends. You’re crying. I...I don’t like it,” he confessed, surprising himself with the admission. _

_ She didn’t seem to take notice at that. Instead she just sat up and wiped her tears. _

_ A sniffle, “I’m just angry.” _

_ He could only cock his head to the side in confusion, “Angry?” _

_ She nodded, “It’s something everyone can do. Father, mother, Coran, Resnal, and even you. So why am I different?” _

_ Seeing her so disheartened was crushing to him. It seemed that despite the loving atmosphere she had known and he had lacked, it didn’t do her any good. Her father was busy, her mother had her own duties, Coran would assist the royal couple with their duties. It left the little princess to take on all of it for herself. And she was almost expected to just know what to do. This wouldn’t do. _

_ “Don’t worry, Lula,” he assured. “You will master this. And then you can stick it to that old, mean grouch.” _

_ She looked at him, he had a grin on his face. _

_ “I’m too stupid-“ _

_ He cut her off, “That’s nonsense and you know it. Besides you can read, you’re just given the universe’s most boring things to read and that’s no way to learn.” _

_ She looked uncertain, “So what is a way to learn?” _

_ He made his way to the end of the bed where the book was. He pushed it towards her and she looked at it before her eyes went wide and there was a certain sparkle in them again. It pleased him. _

_ “I heard that it is your favorite. Maybe it can help!” _

_ Allura smiled sweetly at him before moving over a bit to make space. She then patted the space next to him. He was all too eager to climb up and take his place next to her. _

_ “I love this story. And it’s so amazing that The Lion Goddess herself chose our fathers. Surely there is no greater honor,” she said, excitedly. _

_ Lotor smiled thoughtfully. Perhaps she would be told the truth later but she looked so happy… _

_ “It is. The highest honor,” he responded. _

_ The book had pictures but each page had so many words. He hoped that it wouldn’t be discouraging for her and he peeked over to see her staring at the page. _

_ “Perhaps we could start with something a little more basic then?” he suggested. _

_ Her eyes continued to scan the page, “Like what?” _

_ “Exus, plexis, ceedus, flee, jadus, nacto, pleedum, ree-” _

_ “Oh, for the love of the ancients, please stop!” she said, scowling and covering her ears. _

_ Lotor blinked. _

_ “Coran used to sing that to me all the time until my ears all but fell off! I know it by heart but please, don’t sing it. It is akin to torture.” _

_ Lotor had to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from laughing. Somehow, he could absolutely see that happening. _

_ “All right, so you learned the song?” he questioned and he got an immediate nod in response. _

_ "And you know the sounds each letter makes?" his question was again met with a nod. _

_ “Can you read that first line?” he asked. _

_ She went slowly. She didn’t stumble once, however. It was a start… _

**\---**

_ They met like this every evening before dinner. She was getting better little by little with each passing quintant. It pleased the prince to see that her confidence was being restored. Sure she still struggled over documents and Resnal still yelled at her over it, but they were so boring. Lotor could understand, still she was getting better at those. The yelling also became less and less. _

_ She could read The Lion Goddess perfectly by the end of their second movement of private lessons. She looked so happy and so accomplished. Lotor clapped his little hands for her as well. _

_ “Are you getting sick?” she asked suddenly, after she finished reading the story. _

_ Lotor frowned, “No…?” _

_ Allura shook her head, “Forgive me, it’s just that you sniffle so much and I thought…” _

_ Lotor’s frown upturned and he shook her head, “No, I just smell things. Everything. Everything has a scent and I’m still trying to control how much it overpowers.” _

_ Allura seemed fascinated by this tidbit of information and she moved closer. _

_ “You can smell everything? Truly?” her high voice squeaked, excitedly. _

_ The little boy could only blush and scratch his head, “It’s not as wonderful as it sounds, it’s overpowering. Most Galra don’t get it under control until they are older and…” _

_ “You said everything had a smell!” she interrupted excitedly. _

_ “Well yes. Everything and everyone,” he mumbled, fidgeting a bit. _

_ “Do...do I?” she asked, looking away with a blush. It was precious. _

_ “Of course you do. It’s…” he paused, feeling the warmth spread from his cheeks to the rest of his face. “It’s juniberries and the mountains. That’s what you smell like…” _

_ She beamed at that. She leaned over and tried to smell him but...nothing. He knew that she wouldn’t. It was a Galra sense. And she pouted. _

_ “It’s alright, Lu. It’s better because then you don’t have to be overpowered by everything." _

_ He added more words of comfort but she still looked disappointed. _

_ “I just...wanted to know your scent as well,” she admitted. And Lotor could only smile at that. _

_ There was a brief few ticks of silence between them. Lotor pondered for a moment. _

_ “Perhaps I could get you a book about the Galra? Would that please you, Lula?” _

_ She nodded excitedly, “And I’ll get you a book about the Alteans! I know you want to learn and I know exactly what to get you!” _

_ She spoke rapidly when she was excited and Lotor couldn’t help but feel warm again. She did that a lot around him and it made him feel special. No one had ever been so excited and happy to be around him. _

_ “I would like that. Very much…” _

**\---**

_ Lotor has to admit that hearing Resnal sing Allura’s praises was a good feeling. Because she was happy. The glow radiated from her smiling face. _

_ “Excellent work, princess! You have done well and have proven that you are serious about your future role as Queen!” and with that a rare smile appeared on his face. _

_ Lessons were short that day because Allura had read through all her assigned reading. She didn’t stumble, she didn’t lose her place, not once. It was a huge and rapid improvement, according to Resnal. The old grouch was less grouchy and very generous that day. So he dismissed them a varga early. _

_ She grabbed his hand the moment the door closed behind them, “The juniberries are in full bloom! I want you to see them!” _

_ Lotor didn’t fight, protest, or feel the usual surprise. He just smiled as he allowed her to tug him along. The air was very sweet and the landscape has bloomed into shades of pink and purple. They didn’t trek up the mountains as they usually did but rather a small patch just a distance from the castle. _

_ He always thought the flowers were lovely but Allura standing in the middle of them? It seemed to improve the scenery. _

_ “Here,” she said, plucking a juniberry and offering it to him. He blinked a few times before reaching out to take it. _

_ “I want to thank you. For all your help. Truly, I am lucky to have you as my friend,” she looked at him smiling with a deep red blush on her cheeks. _

_ He was going to open his mouth to thank her. To tell her that he felt so lucky to be around her, and that he would always be there to help her with whatever she needed. _

_ But he was interrupted when he saw something from the corner of his eye. Some creature with wings. He went completely stiff as it landed on his nose. _

_ The creature seemed to stare right at him. It was so strange, with antennae and a long body, with giant wings. it was purple and black and white. Something about it made it feel familiar. He was startled when the creature spread its wings. _

_ Allura gasped. _

_ He was about to swat it away when Allura grabbed his hand, “No, don’t!” _

_ She seemed to marvel at it, “Like eyes when it spreads its wings. Your eyes!” _

_ Lotor was growing more and more apprehensive. _

_ “What is it?” _

_ She didn’t answer for a moment before saying, “It’s a butterfly!” _

_ A what? _

_ “They are these lovely little creatures with wings that like to be around flowers. They show up when the flowers are in full bloom. They are my absolute favorite after juniberries!” _

_ Lotor stared at the butterfly. She wasn’t wrong, it was lovely. But for someone who always had his guard up, even the loveliest things could seem deadly. Especially the loveliest of things, actually. _

_ “Especially this one. It’s the loveliest of them all. It reminds me of you!” she finished. _

_ Allura couldn’t possibly know what effect her words were having on him. Suddenly the butterfly seemed insignificant to him. _

_ There were things that this girl was doing to his heart. _

_ And for once, the rapid beating of it didn’t bother or unnerve him. It was a nice feeling… _

* * *

Well, it had been nice. The memories only seemed to flood back when his gaze shifted across the counter to see the bartender. The woman had a book open in front of her. She was reading loud enough for him to hear and he could tell that she was fumbling. He almost smiled fondly, even if these memories made him sad now. 

A seedy tavern, on some barren wasteland of a planet, outside of the Empire was the last place that he wanted to be. But it was also a hub for fugitives, refugees, and even lowlifes with wild tales to spin. Over the years, Lotor had gotten better at filtering through the tall tales and the facts. He could have had informants and he did. Still he only trusted his ears alone. He preferred to hear from people in their natural environment, unfiltered and unafraid. 

There was no fear of Galra out here, only disgust and hatred. Lotor always disguised himself as well. He could go toe to toe with most of them but he didn’t want to lose such a potentially valuable source of information. He didn’t bother to ask questions, these people were constantly on their guard. Tonight though, there was nothing particularly of interest. 

A few women had offered to buy him a drink, flirted and batted their long eyelashes, and leaned over so he could get a view. Lotor waved them away, not the least bit interested. He had thought he could get some new information out of them, but quickly found that they knew nothing. And giving into their flirting and desires would achieve nothing. 

He supposed over the years, the loneliness had taken its toll. Allura would have wanted him to be happy, but he had found no happiness in one night of pretending. He’d tried it a few times, to soothe the ache and loneliness that he felt, but he gave that up quickly. Allura would be no happier with him about it. He was unhappy with himself after each encounter. He didn't like pretending that his heart was whole enough to engage in something like that. It was unfair to him as well as his partner. His heart only accepted his princess. The only bit of joy that he could find was making sure Altea didn’t die out completely. And he had his memories of her smile, her blush, her touch, and her lovely voice. It would never be enough but it was still better than nothing. He wasn’t here to give into his most base desires.

He would finish this drink and then leave. The smell of the place was beginning to burn his nostrils. He had to admit that spirits and smoke didn’t do it for him. Even now, the drink he had was not a spirit, it was more like a tonic. Bitter, but it kept him focused. 

He had to admit that he was frustrated not to have found anything of substance. Surely if Voltron had returned, it would be all anyone would be talking about. Perhaps the news hadn’t reached so far out there yet? News did tumble in much like the kind of people that usually hung around this place. 

“That’s right. I saw Voltron,” one particularly loud voice yelled out, making Lotor’s ear twitch. He was careful not to turn around and make eye contact. They absolutely hated that. 

“Sit down, Brax. We all know-” someone else yelled out and a chorus of ‘yeah!’ followed so Lotor couldn’t hear the rest of it. 

“I swear on my honor, I saw it!” the one known as Brax said. 

A scoff from another, “What honor? You have none! No one here does! You’re drunk, sit down!” 

“I saw it! 100 meters tall, soared through the sky like an angel! Took out those nasty Galra bastards in one fell swoop! Sent them running through the hills like the bitches that they are!” he continued cheerfully. 

Lotor rolled his eyes as he sorely doubted that the Galra were that easily defeated or deterred. In fact, he probably let out a snort but was careful not to be heard. He didn’t want this to be any more trouble than it was worth. 

The second man sighed, “That ain’t possible. That’s about as possible as you taking them on yourself. No one can take on the Galra. If they could, the universe wouldn’t be in such a shithole.” 

Lotor didn’t even flinch. He knew, he knew very well. He had spent millennia in quiet shame over this fact. All while he watched people flee, resign themselves to subjugation, or burn. And he could only watch helpless because he was just one man against an entire Empire. 

When he had tried to make things better while also trying to please his father, his plan had backfired. And backfired most disastrously. An entire planet paid the ultimate price for his folly. 

Still, there had been no Voltron. No paladins. The Lion Goddess has seemingly abandoned the universe. That was what half of the population seemed to believe. The others just considered it nonsense from the start. 

“I know what I saw! Voltron’s back and they’re going to oust the Empire! The Lion Goddess hasn’t forsaken us yet!” Brax responded confidently.

A snort could be heard from a new voice, “Alright, let's say that Voltron is back. Zarkon was once a paladin. The Black Lion is his and mark my words, he will do whatever it takes to get it back. Your precious Lion Goddess chose him to begin with, remember? We’re not going home, Brax. Let it go.” 

“But-” Brax protested, only to get annoyed and warning growls. He sat down, frustrated. Lotor contemplated going over to ask himself and he finished his drink, ready to ask where he had scene it. 

“Ask any Balmeran. They’ll tell you,” he grumbled. No one said anything and soon the tavern calmed down. The low buzz of chatter had returned and Lotor found it prudent not to annoy people any further. He sorely wanted to but the man certainly looked like he had too many drinks in him. Additionally, there was something kind of unbelievable about his story. It was not a lead worth pursuing, most likely.

No one seemed to notice as he slipped out of the tavern. What he had was still very little, but it’s more than he had before being on the outskirts of the Empire. The Balmerans? There were several Balmera throughout the universe. Which one? That didn't sound right. Why would the likes of him be on a Balmera? It didn't matter, it was probably some wild story.

As he made his way towards his cruiser, he touched the necklace under his gauntlet. He still refused to look. He still couldn’t. He had strapped it onto his gauntlet so that he wouldn't have to see it when he took it off or put it on. 

_ ‘Lu, I’m trying. I know it’s a long way off, but I’m trying. Please rest well knowing that. I will not fail, I swear to you this. If it kills me, I will restore this universe. I will be with you again soon…’ _

Often times, this is what he would say to himself. When things were looking bleak or unpromising, he would recite his oath to a ghost. It played like a song for him now. It had kept him going for so long…

**\---**

His generals were waiting for him when he returned to the flagship. He looked exhausted and rather disappointed and it was hard not to show it. 

“Sooooooo?” Ezor asked in her typical fashion. Had it been anyone else, Lotor would’ve growled in annoyance. But it was Ezor, that was just how she was. 

“Nothing of substance. Some man claims to have seen Voltron on or near a Balmera. Though of course, he couldn’t be bothered to say which one,” he responded, his tone kept even. 

“Bummer…” Zethrid commented. She said it in her usual, crude manner but Lotor found that he couldn’t agree more. 

Narti just stood there, the cat he had given her, Kova perched on her shoulders. The cat only seemed to look at him, a sad glint in his eye. If there was anyone who would have understood the depths of his pain, it was that cat. But he had given him to her general, to be her eyes. Was he lonelier for it? Sure, but he had learned to live with that particular open wound. 

“Well that does seem to partly match the intel from the scout,” Acxa said, typing at her computer. 

Lotor’s ear twitched at this. 

“Oh? Does he bring news?” his spirits raising just a bit even though he didn’t want to have that hope again. 

“He learned a few things about the paladins and he spoke with a few of the locals,” he asked. 

That seemed humorous, “He was actually able to speak with the locals without scaring them?” 

“The Arusians are primitive and haven’t known about the Empire or had contact with them in any case. He was able to get close enough to the paladins. Unfortunately not enough to send pictures or anything of the sort,” she responded. 

“Of course, go on. Has he found anything about them?” he asked. 

“There are 5 of them. Are you familiar with the planet Earth?” she asked. 

“I’m afraid not…”

“They’re all from that planet. Recently the Blue Lion was found there. The planet is seems to be primitive as well, though not nearly as much as Arus. I checked the Empire’s database for all this information. It all matches up…” 

Lotor was trying to piece this together in his head. The lions had been scattered, how could primitive beings find all the lions if they didn’t have the means to. No, there had to be something else that he was missing. There was something odd about it all…

“And sir?” Acxa said, turning around to look at him. 

“What is it?” 

“…What do you know about The Lion Goddess…?”


	3. The Governess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, we have ourselves chapter 3, the final update of 2019 and this decade! Thank you to all who've read, your comments mean the world to me. I also want to thank Ellie for some of these ideas! Also yes, Dayak is in this chapter. I did change up bits of her canon personality a bit to fit the story. Please enjoy and have a Happy New Year!

_ Lotor’s eyes could’ve burned a hole into the dirt. There was so much shame as he sunk his little feet into the ground. Even the princess’ comforting hand squeezing his did very little. Very little could be done to ease his anxiety right now. He had misstepped and as a result, his father was sending over his punishment. _

_ It was absolutely stupid. It was meant to be a trap to catch a yelmore. Just one. They were extremely hard to catch and Lotor had never seen one. He really did and he regretted it now. As it happened, Coran was looking for the prince and princess and ended up caught in the trap. Lotor had never heard such a sound, even in all the times in the pits. _

_ Muscle tears and Coran was no young man. Of course there had to be consequences for the both of them. Alfor wasn’t happy, although the punishment was lighter than anything he’d ever been used to. They were no longer allowed to venture off the castle grounds without an escort. Alfor said he’d let it go, on Coran’s insistence. Zarkon would not be told. _

_ But, of course, Lotor was being watched. Naturally, Zarkon found out about it. The little boy had never felt so much terror in his life. Would he be forced back to Daibazaal? Would Zarkon personally do it? What would be in store for him when he got back? _

_ The punishment was so much worse than he could have possibly imagined. _

_ And now he was here, watching as the small cruiser touched down. Allura continued to give him light, comforting squeezes. He was grateful, but it wasn’t enough. _

‘As you have seen fit to waste your time or perhaps have too much of it, there is only one way to set you straight without disgracefully bringing you back…’ 

_ That was it. The sound of the cruiser door opening filled his ears and he slowly brought his eyes up. He attempted to swallow the lump in his throat. _

_ And there Dayak stood, with her stiff and strict demeanor. Her eyes seemed to scan the line of people before landing on the young prince. He flinched when he saw her hard frown and immediately dropped his gaze. This had to be a nightmare. What had Zarkon told her? _

_ “Well isn’t she...delightful?” Allura commented. Lotor couldn’t tell if she had said it in jest. He quietly snorted. _

_ “Quite the opposite actually.” _

_ If Allura said anything else, he didn’t hear it. He was watching intently as the woman made her way down the ramp. It was unusual for Alfor to greet someone below his rank. But this woman was here on special request of Emperor Zarkon. His son’s governess. She would be here to...watch over his progress. For the prince, that just meant harder training and avoiding the crop. _

“Pain is the best teacher…” 

_ The words had been burned into his mind since he could walk. Walking around with bruises and cuts were nothing on his father’s ship, but here? With the Alteans, Alfor, and Allura? No...no… _

_ “Lotor?” he heard her whisper in concern. _

_ His response? Lightly squeezing her hand, hoping to reassure her. But it probably felt more like he was seeking her comfort. He couldn’t appear weak. _

_ The tall, willowy woman made her way down the line before stopping in front of Alfor. She bowed her head. _

_ “Your Grace…” _

_ Alfor, warm as ever, received her warmly, “Welcome to Altea, Dayak. We are more than honored to have you.” _

_ She gave a small smile before paying respects to Queen Melenor. The two women seemed to have even less to say. She looked around in the crowd and Lotor could have sworn for a brief moment her eyes lingered on Coran. Not his injured leg, but his face. He couldn’t see Coran’s face but he had never seen such a look on the old governess’ face. He wanted to look away. _

_ She frowned. _

_ “Forgive me for being blunt, where is the Prince?” she asked. _

_ Lotor swallowed thickly, his hands shaking as he stepped forward. Allura didn’t let go of his hand, something he was grateful for. He knew better than to hope for that, Dayak would not take so kindly to a showing of such weakness. A shame to the Galra lineage, he had to prove his strength here. He had to show Dayak that his time was not wasted here. _

_ “Here, Dayak,” he announced, as loudly as his little voice could muster. In his head, he sounded like he was shaking. Like he was afraid. _

_ The governess’ eyes snapped over to him and he stood up straight as her crop, posture was important. If he was caught slumping, it was sure to be a strike later. _

_ She turned and began walking straight towards him. Her eyes boring straight into him. He didn’t break eye contact, she hated that. It was ridiculous how scared he seemed in that moment. _

_ Dayak wasn’t a woman to be feared. She was certainly someone who did not like being disappointed. She was rigid in her methods and she knew exactly how to get her point across. But if he was being quite honest, he had enjoyed the time that he wasn’t under her care. It was nice to be cared for without the fear of having the switch whack him in the face. It was the punishment for not having developed fast enough reflexes. _

_ More than anything, he feared that she would find that he had gotten too soft, unbecoming of a future emperor. He didn’t want to go back to Daibazaal for any reason. Shaming the alliance and disgracing his father. The punishments wouldn’t be so kind. If he could ever describe Zarkon as kind. _

_ And his mother wouldn’t say anything because she would be elsewhere. Her work had always been more important than her son, it seemed. _

_ She stopped in front of him. He bowed his head, a form of respect. _

_ “Prince Lotor,” she said. Her tone was flat, but Lotor could hear the displeasure behind it. He squeezed his eyes shut. _

_ “Dayak. I hope your trip was comfortable,” he managed to say, his own voice hoarse. _

_ “Hmm, it was tolerable,” was the only answer, the intensity of her gaze only increasing. He wanted to look away, but he didn’t. _

‘Do not show weakness, do not show weakness…’ 

_ He stepped to the side a bit, giving Allura a little bit of space to come forward. _

_ “May I introduce you to…” he began before stopping. He still couldn’t say her name properly thanks to his fangs. If Dayak found that he still couldn’t say it… _

_ Allura, thankfully, dropped down into a graceful curtsey. _

_ “Allura, Princess of Altea,” she finished. And Lotor sighed in relief. He would have to thank her for that later. _

_ Dayak nodded courteously before bowing her head in respect, “An honor, Princess.” _

_ Lotor looked back and forth between the two. Dayak seemed to be observing the princess, but she remained gracious as ever. _

_ “Hmm, it seems that I am in for a very interesting visit indeed…” _

_ Lotor had no idea what that meant. He didn’t really want to know what it meant either. He just silently begged and prayed to his forefathers that the trip would be interesting in a good way. He prayed to them to allow that stars to continue showing him just a little bit of mercy… _

**_\---_ **

_ The movement went by painfully slow. And it only mattered because Dayak decided to “observe” for that period of time. She watched in on his lessons, his free time, and mealtime as well. The little prince was still not being trained in combat. Allura and he would have to wait a deca-phoeb as they were too young now. Dayak was not pleased by that revelation but chose not to comment on it. Lotor could only tell by the hard frown and creases by her eyes. _

_ Coran and Dayak now oversaw their lessons. Punishment, Lotor supposed. But punishment wasn’t as strict as he’d normally expect, so he accepted it graciously. He did well in his lessons, so for once, he wasn’t afraid of displeasing Dayak and by extension his father. Still, he wasn’t particularly pleased at having what little of his freedom he had all but ripped away from him. He’d been a little spoiled, he had to admit. _

_ On Daibazaal, yes, he had his independence. He wasn’t coddled there, but he was still criticized for what he did in his free time. He couldn’t read without being looked down on. He couldn’t pursue anything academic without a severe look from his father. He’d found it unfair, seeing as his own mother was a scientist. He attempted to shadow her sometimes but she’d always waved him off. _

_ His activities always needed to be physical. Everything he did had to move him towards Daibazaal’s throne, no one said anything to him. He had to sneak reading material into his clothing when he’d climb small rock faces. He did this just to be able to do things he loved away from the judging glares of Galra courtiers. _

_ Here though? He wasn’t judged for what he liked to do. But he was coddled, he was supervised, and everyone seemed to fuss over him. It was because he was a little prince. Secondly, it was out of fear of what would happen if anything were to happen to Daibazaal’s prince. _

_ In short, it was just twice as much to be irritated at. Luckily for him, however, he had the princess with him so it wasn’t nearly as lonely. _

_ Allura was intuitive enough not to ask what was wrong. Every now and again, though, when she was sure that Coran or Dayak weren’t looking, she’d slip him a note. Just to ask how he was and tell him that she missed him. _

_ It warmed both his cheeks and heart. _

_ He would steal glances at her whenever he could, he especially loved it when he had to listen to her read. She was getting better and Resnal was being less harsh towards her. He had to be mindful especially with Dayak all but breathing down his neck. He had always known that she was pretty, but it was only beginning to dawn on him just how lovely she was. Inside and out. _

_ Since he had touched down onto Altea, everyone had attempted to pamper him. Everyone smiled at him. Either because of his status or because he was Alfor’s ward. Very little of it seemed genuine to him. But Allura...Allura was always genuine. She was always happy to see him, always eager to play with him, and she knew him enough to know when he was out of sorts. _

_ For once, since Dayak, there seemed to be someone who cared if he was there or not. He had to hide his small smile at the thought. _

_ Sometimes though, Resnal would be talking about something Lotor had already learned. Allura would be hard at work, taking notes, and Lotor could hear Dayak and Coran whispering to each other. _

_ “Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe,” he heard Coran greet. He could practically see the bow as well. _

_ He expected Dayak to just acknowledge him curtly and shortly. But his ears perked when he heard her voice go soft and...sweet? _

_ “Dayak.” _

_ “Very honored to meet you, madam,” Coran responded. _

_ “Likewise…” _

_ Lotor blinked, once, twice...maybe a third time. He looked over at Allura once more, still concentrating on the lesson. He smiled once more. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who'd found someone who made him feel warm. _

_ \--- _

_ He was in his room after lunch that afternoon, finally being able to relax. Dayak didn’t pester him before supper and so far, he hoped, she would see no reason to send him back to Daibazaal. He prayed hard to the ancients just this once. He asked to study for his lessons that afternoon and no one thought he had any reason to lie. _

_ His thoughts wandered to Allura and their time together. The past few phoebs had been the happiest of his young life. Allura hadn’t let him hide in the castle. She took him to the fields, to nearby villages, and offered him all sorts of pastries and delicacies. She'd even introduced him to the local children. _

_ He had dreaded meeting the other children. On Daibazaal, he was regarded as a freak due to being small for his age and being only half-Galra. But here? It didn’t seem that the children really cared and they played with him all the same. They even seemed to like him. _

_ He’d never felt more comfortable or adequate in his own skin. It seemed all that she did, she made him feel comfortable, warm, and most of all, content with himself. Everything was tingling. He couldn’t explain it but he never wanted it to stop. He was no longer scared of the sensation, he welcomed it. _

_ He was lost in his musings and daydreams when he heard a quiet knock at the door. _

_ One knock, two knocks, three… _

_ He flew off the chair to run over to the door. Only Allura knocked like that. He opened the door and much to his delight, Allura stood out there with a smile on her face. Small, but it was there. _

_ “Lula!” he said happily. _

_ “That’s Princess Allura to you,” a cold voice cut in, causing his eyes to widen. _

_ Ah yes, not too far behind her, Dayak was walking up to his door. He sincerely hoped his annoyance at the interruption wasn’t showing. _

_ “It is alright,” Allura commented, sweetly. She flashed a polite smile at the governess. “I quite like the nickname.” _

_ Dayak frowned, “You do? I was told Altean customs dictated that someone of royal birth was to be addressed by her proper name and title.” _

_ Allura nodded, “Lotor is my equal and I like it when he calls me that. It is alright, Dayak. I prefer it that way.” _

_ Bless her. Bless her lovely, kind heart. That’s all Lotor could think in that moment. _

_ “Hm,” she said, looking back and forth between the two of them. “If that is how you wish, then so be it.” _

_ Lotor could feel the sweat on his palms. Was it possible that she was thinking that Allura was making him soft? And that this was absolutely unbecoming of the future of the Galra Royal Lineage? Would this send him right back to Daibazaal…? _

_ “Hm...before supper tonight Lotor, we will resume your training. Just because you are here, doesn’t mean you are allowed to slack. I shall have to see how much I must re-attune your senses,” she finally said, looking to him as if to gauge the reaction. _

_ But all Lotor did was somewhat bow his head at the governess, anything to make her leave, “As you command.” _

_ “Good,” she replied. She then turned to the princess and bowed. _

_ “Your Highness.” _

_ Allura nodded her head. Dayak wasn’t done, however. _

_ “The Prince is busy with his studies. I’m afraid he will not be able to keep you company.” _

_ “It’s alright!” Lotor shook his head. “I finished already, I was going to just read a little but if the princess-” _

_ “Outside!” she cut in. “I wanted to take him out into the courtyard to run around a bit. It’s on the grounds to run around.” _

_ Dayak seemed to approve, “Yes. That sounds favorable to just sitting around idle.” _

_ Lotor would have protested if it hadn’t gotten him the crop. There was no use trying to convince Dayak that reading was not an idle task. That alone would be an idle chore. _

_ And he and Allura ran out as fast as their small legs could carry them… _

** _ \--- _ **

_ The courtyard was not exactly the best place to play a game of hide and seek. There were guards everywhere and very few places to hide, unless it was behind one of the many guards. The same guards always aided their princess which put poor Lotor at a disadvantage. _

_ Not today. Lotor had discovered that there was an area in the back of the castle where there were barely any guards. Mainly because there was a high cliff there. It made scaling up to infiltrate the castle near impossible. Still there were a few very bored guards. There were shrubs against the castle wall and Lotor thought of hiding there but that was too easy. It would be the first place she would look. Luckily, there was a tree. _

_ Growing up on Daibazaal had made an expert climber out of him. Unfortunately for him, the branches were old and thin. Lotor was sure that this tree wouldn’t hold him for long but he sincerely hoped that she would find him soon. Or that she’d give up so that he could win for once. _

_ He did consider moving to the shrubs but the leaves gave him better cover here. He looked down, the tree wasn’t so high. Still, he didn’t want to be up here for too long. _

_ Unfortunately, whatever divine entity there was, had chosen not to smile down on him or show him mercy. He had to move closer to the trunk where it was sturdier. He was bored, terribly bored. But Allura would never forgive him if he simply forfeited the game. She did not like victory handed to her so easily. _

_ He started counting the number of leaves, it was something to do. Now this was surely an idle task. _

_ He’d reached around 500 when he finally heard small, dainty footsteps walking towards. Footsteps that could only belong to Allura. He sighed in relief as he waited. He looked down and could see a bit of her shadow. Predictably, she was looking in the hedges. _

_ “Lotor?” she called out in her tiny voice and it made his heart flutter. And it was because she sounded so precious. He was sure it was loud enough that maybe she could hear it. He sincerely hoped so. _

_ She continued to look but when she reached the end, she huffed. _

_ “Where are you?” she called out again, this time in a sing-songy voice. He could hear her approaching the tree and he found himself breathing a sigh of relief. Finally, he could get down. _

_ But it was not to be. He heard something snap. Before he could even react properly, the branch snapped. And with that, he felt himself tumbling towards the ground. _

_ He barely registered his surroundings when he landed on his stomach. His hand broke his fall. A sharp pain was felt and he was sure that he had broken skin. From the side of his eye, he could see Allura running over to him, shock and horror covering her features. _

_ “Lotor!” she squealed when she reached him. She fell to her knees and gently supported him so that his back was up against the tree. _

_ He wanted to cry, it hurt very badly. _

‘Do not show weakness, do not show weakness.’ 

_ He recited this chant to himself over and over and swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He could feel the tears pricking and stinging his eyes but he refused to let them fall. Not in front of Allura, never in front of her. _

_ He cradled his wrist to his chest and took slow, deep breaths. _

_ “Can I see?” Allura asked, gently. He peeked over to see her giving him the most tender expression he’d ever seen on her. Did she...pity him? _

_ “I’m fine,” he answered hoarsely. _

_ Allura did not seem convinced. Not at all, “You fell from a tree, I know that’s not true. It’s alright Lotor. It’s just me. You don’t have to be brave with me, I know it hurts badly.” _

_ It came out in a gentle coo. He turned to look at her, his eyes full to the brim with tears and as soon as one fell, the princess moved to catch them. Such softness, such care in her hands. _

_ She wiped the last of the tears and gave him a very sweet, reassuring smile. _

_ “Come Lotor, tell me where it hurts…” _

_ He was taken aback by her actions. And without thinking, he brought his hand over to her and she pulled back his sleeve. Sure enough, he scraped it but it wasn’t so bad. There was very little blood. So why did it hurt so much? _

_ She rubbed it gently, using the hem of her dress to do so. But his heart really missed a beat when she lifted up his wrist to her lips. _

_ The brush was slight and it only lasted half a tick but something changed most definitely. She was always tending to him, always wanting to play with him, never laughed at his shortcomings. And now she was kissing his wounds. She did it all with a smile. All for him and expected nothing in return. _

_ She was truly the loveliest, most gentle creature in the whole of the universe. And he wanted this softness forever. _

_ There was one more tear after that. _

_ “Thank you, Lula…” he whispered, sniffling. She moved to wipe his tear once again. _

_ “Always, Lotor. Always…” _

** _ \--- _ **

_ He was bandaged up after, Allura stood with him the whole time. It only took a few doboshes tops. The pain had gone down, it really was just a scrape. Fortunately the tree wasn’t high enough to break or sprain anything. _

_ Unfortunately, now it was time to train with Dayak. It didn’t matter how injured or ill he was, training was training. Dayak would not excuse something as miniscule as this. _

_ He walked into the training room, it was large and there was sure to be an echo. Dayak was waiting, a stern expression matched her stern features. She seemed to notice his injury. She arched a thin eyebrow. _

_ “What happened?” she demanded. _

_ His cheeks went warm, “I...fell from a tree…” _

_ No point in lying, right? _

_ She didn’t hold back, “Well then, pain is your teacher. What have you learned?” _

_ Lotor stood there ashamed, “I learned not to climb an old tree and stay there too long. And also not to go where guards can’t see me.” _

_ He couldn’t tell if she was satisfied with that answer or not. But he saw the crop coming down, his immediate reaction was to immediately dodge. At this, she gave him a rare smile. _

_ “Good. It seems you still remember.” _

_ He didn’t bother to beam at this compliment. It was still Dayak and void knows she only wished to lower his guard. It wouldn’t work. _

_ And it didn’t. _

_ He dodged again and again. He was tired, but that was never an excuse with Dayak. _

_ He only dropped his guard when she asked, “Did you otherwise amuse yourself in playing with the princess today?” _

_ And that’s when he felt the sting of the crop on his head. After phoebs, it hurt more than it usually would have. _

_ He scowled as he rubbed the spot where she’d struck him. She wasn’t completely displeased with him. _

_ “Ah...so I see…” she said in a tone that Lotor couldn’t discern what she was thinking. And it made him paranoid. And that much more determined. _

_ “We had fun,” he answered hastily. _

_ “So it seems. Being around her, simply mentioning her is enough to bring down your guard. She makes you soft. She is your weakness…” _

_ It scared him. Would she say this to Zarkon? Would he decide that this was too much? No, no, no. He wouldn’t let it happen. Dayak would have to take him in chains. He would have said this, but something entirely different came out of his mouth. _

_ “I will marry Lula of Altea,” he declared. He was surprised by his own words but held steady. Yes, he knew. He wanted to be with her forever and ever. _

_ Dayak blinked, “Oh will you now?” _

_ “Yes, when I’m bigger. I will marry her. We will rule Daibazaal and Altea together,” he went on, firmly. _

_ Dayak didn’t say anything and for a moment, it was just Dayak staring him down but he didn’t cower and didn’t shrink. He stayed strong. _

_ To his shock, she smiled. More like grinned. What was this? _

_ “Then you must get stronger. She is the softest part of you and you must always protect that which is your softest. You must never alert your opponent to this. Let it become your strength! Again! We will do this every quintant until you are ready!” she boomed. _

_ Lotor smirked, determined and at the ready. His worst fears seemed to be quelled. He wouldn’t have to go back to Daibazaal. Dayak would help him. _

_ “Yes, I must get stronger!” he affirmed, puffing out his chest and beaming. _

_ Dayak’s crop came down once more… _

* * *

If only he could return to a time when being shipped back to Daibazaal had been his biggest fear… 

Now here he was, without his softness, without Allura’s gentle hand. He was pouring over document after document about a child’s tale. His generals said nothing, but he was no fool. They were judging him. 

Void, he was judging himself. 

The documents, stories, and legends, could no longer be discredited as simply a story. The Lion Goddess. Was she real or was she just a symbol? Was she a person? Was she even a she? 

Alright, that last one had a fairly obvious answer. He’d seen a great number of incredible things in his many deca-phoebs. 

Days upon days went on like this. He couldn’t rest well and bathing was more of an irritant than relaxation. He only ate when Zethrid practically shoved food into his mouth. 

It was ridiculous how little intel he had to go on. He didn’t know much about the new universal defenders except that they were from a backwater planet. A planet he’d never heard of and they were now on Arus. How had they come upon the lions? Why were they on Arus? Was someone leading them? Could they be trusted? Could they be reliable allies?

The Empire probably had its eye on Arus. Otherwise nothing would be stopping him from going there at this very moment. 

He threw another document in frustration. It told him nothing, just more of the same thing. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and leaned back in his chair. He wanted something, anything. Something substantial would be preferred. He was almost willing to risk life and limb to sneak into the Empire’s territory. Almost. His better judgment kept him from doing so. 

_ ‘Where do I go from here? Where?’ _

Acxa and Ezor had been diligently bringing him things but they weren’t helpful. They were more or less the same thing. The Lion Goddess was back, she was here. Praise be. 

Only he didn’t have a face to her. He didn’t have anything. How was that even possible? Something was amiss. 

He closed his eyes, trying to remember Allura. He tried to remember the details of her face, the way her eyes shined, the way she smiled whenever he was near. He thought of what she’d have wanted him to do now. 

_ ‘Lu…’ _

His heart hurt. Everything hurt. He’d even reach out, as if he were reaching for a limb. Reaching for a part of himself that was forever gone. It hurt. It wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was fair. He didn't want to think about all this. Millennia had gone by and his heart remained irreparably broken. 

He fought for the universe, he would live out his life. But without her, his life lacked color. It was bleak. It would always be bleak. He would only know happiness again when he joined her once more. 

He continued to sulk but was interrupted by the opening of the door. It was Zethrid. Strange, she never was the one barging in.

He sighed, “Yes? What is it? What news?”

“Err...your governess Dayak just requested to land, sir,” she answered. 

That certainly got his attention. 

“Let her in. I will receive her personally…” 

\---

Unlike in his boyhood, the sight of his governess was a welcome one. She was more of a mother to him. Even more so than his own mother had ever been and she took great risk to help him. She didn’t show it, she couldn’t. Lotor preferred it that way. Dayak was freer to travel because of it. Also Zarkon was a bit of a moronic brute. If it wasn’t an immediate threat, he wasn’t concerned. 

It would’ve been laughable. Zarkon had destroyed an entire planet and civilization to spite Lotor. And he only banished the Prince for it. Before that, after destroying Altea, he gave Lotor command of his own ship. Even if he was only a step above an ordinary prisoner, it still held some power. Foolish orders, one after another. Lotor had always been careful, as Dayak had advised. Zarkon may have not been the sharpest blade in the empire, but there were others who were. They were the only reason that the Empire stayed intact. 

Others who would’ve loved to have the disgraced prince’s head on a pike and paraded around the Empire. Lotor gritted his teeth, like void he would let that happen. 

“Dayak…” he nodded his head. 

“Lotor, you look...well…” she answered, unconvincingly. 

Lotor arched a brow, “Fibbing isn't becoming of you, Dayak.” 

Dayak shrugged, “You look better than I had expected. I do ask for reports and your generals made it seemed to make it more than it was. That is why I have come.” 

Lotor could have laughed. It was touching. Dayak would never admit to it, she would die first, but her maternal instinct was strong. She never showed her affections in a conventional way. But since the day he had declared that he would marry Allura, he understood that she had always been on his side. 

He offered an arm and she took it. The hangar was no place to discuss more pressing matters. Everyone else followed. 

“You have been very busy, I see,” she commented after a few moments. 

Lotor hummed, “It seems there is much excitement in the Empire these days. I’m sorry for missing it. Information is very scarce out here, you see. Even my scouts couldn’t give me a clear picture.” 

That gave Dayak pause, “You dispatched scouts? To Arus?” 

Lotor nodded, “I’m the only one in exile. Others can come and go as they please. I might as well get all the information I can without getting my head blown off of my shoulders, yes?” 

“It is still risky. Arus is being closely watched. It’s any wonder Emperor Zarkon hasn’t blown that star-forsaken planet to bits yet,” Dayak said. 

“Voltron. He wants the lions. He wouldn’t want them destroyed. Even he has enough sense to see that,” Lotor responded. 

The conversation carried them till they arrived at his war room. Only he, the generals, and Dayak were allowed access to it. In other words, the only people left alive that he could trust. 

Dayak frowned at the scattered documents and the general state of the room. 

“You were always an organized one…”

It was Lotor’s turn to shrug, “Times have changed. Also I’m looking for something. Something that might help.”

Dayak didn’t respond, she only narrowed his eyes, furrowed her brows, and frowned. 

"And what would that be?" she asked after a small pause. 

"Something about the Lion Goddess. People keep mentioning it. It's a tale I haven't read since..." he couldn't finish.

This explanation did not please Dayak.

“Leave us. I would like to speak to the Prince alone…” she ordered, turning her head in the direction of the generals. The generals may have had a smart comment for anyone else. Well, Zethrid and Ezor definitely would have. Acxa would do as commanded. 

But this was Dayak. No one questioned her and they shuffled out of the room. Lotor had no doubts that they would be eavesdropping. If he didn’t trust them to not use this against the two of them, he would’ve actually been concerned. 

He waited but Dayak just eyed him up and down. She looked displeased and he couldn’t fathom why, discounting the disarray of the room. 

“What is it Dayak?” he asked, completely tired. He looked down at the screen, glancing at yet another unhelpful document. 

“Chasing a fairy tale? You’re miserable, completely miserable. And it’s affecting everything you do…” 

Lotor frowned, “I’m alright-” 

Dayak folded her arms, “You can lie to the whole of the universe, but you cannot lie to me. Even now, you mourn her. She is in everything you do. She is still your softness and you allow it to show.” 

There it was. Dayak prodding at that festering, open wound. Not maliciously, but it still pushed his buttons. He gritted his teeth. 

“Then what would you suggest? What would you have me do? Send my feelings away?” 

"Perhaps a Galran woman-" 

"That is out of the question, Dayak," Lotor interrupted. Of all things to discuss. He was open to any option, any at all. But not a second marriage. No. 

Dayak frowned, "It's been 10,000 deca-phoebs Lotor." 

Lotor stayed firm, "Yes? What of it? In all this time, has your heart changed? If I asked that you marry or take another as a lover, would you? Could you be with someone who isn't Coran?" 

Dayak didn't say anything. Lotor knew it was a wound that she had never properly closed but she hid it behind her austere mask. The rare, tired look in her eyes greeted him. 

"We never acted on it. And furthermore, whether or not I marry...the future of an Empire does not rest on my shoulders..." 

Lotor closed his eyes and clenched his fists, "Enough. Allura is my first, last, and only. I told you all those years ago that I would marry her someday and I did. I make another vow that only she will ever be my bride. If ever I need to pick an heir, I can handpick and train them myself. But I will not take another for my consort. It is out of the question."

Dayak crossed her arms, “It is not like you to be so carried away by your emotions.” 

“I said that was enough, Dayak. I will not hear it! I will have Allura or I will have no one. Her death has not changed my heart. If you have any other suggestions, I am open to hearing them. But I will hear no more talk of a second marriage or heirs of my own blood,” he growled. 

There was an uncomfortable pause that followed. Lotor glared into the screen in front of him, making the show of intense concentration. Dayak wasn’t so easily fooled. 

“So that’s it…” she finally spoke up. 

“Dayak…” 

“Is it punishment? Your father took your heart from you so you have decided to end his line with you…” she finished. 

He slammed his fists down onto the surface, “That is enough!” 

Dayak was unfazed, “Or perhaps it is as you say and this entire matter is just one of your heart.” 

Lotor growled once more, “My heart has always been involved! Zarkon forcibly brought me back, broke the alliance with Altea, and sent me away. When I was finally allowed to return, Altea was gone! My wife was dead as well! I had promised her that I would return to her! Oh, how wonderful it would be if that were the case but I doubt Zarkon would care. Any heirs from me would be tainted anyway. I am probably doing him a favor.”

He heard his old governess sigh.

He went on, “In any case, Zarkon cares nothing for his line, with all his plans to live forever. All these years and he never took another for consort to make heirs of 'purer' blood. You probably care more for it than he does…” 

“What I care for…” Dayak began “...is the future of this Empire. To make sure it doesn’t drive itself to ruin and lay waste to this universe. And I see you being the only one who can keep it from doing so.” 

Lotor eyed her suspiciously, “Then what is with this talk of marriage and heirs? You know succession is not determined that way…” 

“No. But I wanted to see where your heart lay first…” she replied. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked. 

Dayak looked him straight in the eye before speaking again. 

“What have your scouts told you about the situation involving the return of Voltron?” 

Lotor looked at her, trying to find traces of a possible betrayal, of a possible motive. But this was Dayak, the only person alive in this universe that he couldn’t read. And the only person alive that he was sure would never betray him.

“They were on Arus, brought down Sendak’s fleet, and the Arusians regard one of them as the Lion Goddess. Oh, the paladins are of a species from a planet that I’ve never heard of until recently.”

Dayak’s brow arched up as it always did, “I see. Then your scout failed to inform you of how and why they are there. They are not staying with the Arusians. They are staying up in the Castle of Lions…” 

Everything seemed to stop, including Lotor’s ability to breathe. The universe was frozen and Lotor looked at Dayak as if she had uttered complete nonsense. It was not...computing.

That didn’t make any sense. Why was the Castle of Lions on Arus…? How did it get there? There was one way, but he dared not think. 

Over the millennia, there had been several reported sightings of her. It broke his heart just a little more to hear them. 

“...How?” he croaked. 

“There were only two that could power that Castle. King Alfor and Princess Allura. King Alfor is confirmed to be dead, fallen to Zarkon. So that leaves…” Dayak explained. 

“Dayak, don’t…” he pleaded weakly. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t dare to hope. “Don’t give me hope. Please…” 

Dayak’s face betrayed no emotion but her eyes did convey things. Sympathy for him, the old pain of a lost love, the seriousness of these claims… 

But if there was one person in this universe who could understand his pain, it was Dayak. But it hurt, it would always hurt. 

“What will you do if my suspicions are proven correct? What then, Lotor?” she asked, her voice tinged with hope. 

He turned his back to her and walked over to the window. He looked out into the vast void of space, dotted with little stars. He knew that they were all star systems and distant galaxies, but sometimes he liked to imagine. Which little star was his? Was she watching over him? 

“Dayak, if you’re right…” his voice was hoarse and he didn’t dare to finish it. Just saying it gave him hope. And it was killing him. So much so that he was actually tempted to rip off his gauntlet and take a look at the necklace. To see if it was glowing. But he didn’t dare, he wouldn’t. But the temptation may yet prove to be too much even for his strength of will. 

He could feel Dayak’s eyes boring into him but he didn’t bother to turn around and look. 

_ “Are you out there, Lu? Are you really alive? Please my love…” _


	4. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Why yes I waited till Leap Day to update lol. So a couple of things: 
> 
> 1) Thank you everyone for commenting. They mean so much to me! <3  
2) I changed this fic's title because this one just fit the story better  
3) Dobosh means minute 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! 💜💖

_ She was more attentive than ever. _

_ Lotor gathered that it had something to do with his fall. She remained at his side, she did whatever he wanted to do. She avoided taking him to the courtyard. If he so much got the slightest scratch, there she’d be. Doting on him. While he was touched by and he loved the attention she lavished on him, he was not fond of being coddled. _

_ She jumped when he bumped his leg against the side of the table when they were at the library one afternoon. They were supposed to be reading, but they were playing instead. _

_ “I’m fine, Lula,” he assured, gently. _

_ Allura didn’t seem convinced, “Doesn’t it hurt?” _

_ The prince shook his head, “I can hardly feel a thing. Don’t worry, I’ve definitely had worse…” _

_ He immediately regretted saying that when he saw the look on the princess’ face, “What do you mean?” _

_ “Ah...just training and playing outside. Really, you don’t have to treat me as though I’m fragile. I’m built to take a lot,” he explained. _

_ Allura was still not convinced but she didn’t press the issue. They went back to playing their game. It wasn’t much fun, if he was being honest. And he could tell that she was just as bored as he was. _

_ He was honestly sick of being stuck inside. Their punishment wasn’t over and they were not allowed to leave the castle grounds without an escort. The weather was so beautiful outside too… _

_ “Perhaps we should go and play outside?” he smiled, a little hint of mischief in his eye. _

_ She blinked, “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you-” _

_ Lotor shook his head, “No, I don’t mean the courtyard. I mean beyond. I want to see more of Altea.” _

_ She looked unsure, “But what if you get hurt again?” _

_ As touched as he was by her concern, it was a little annoying. He was no doll and he didn’t like being treated like one. Others treated him like that and it was bad enough. He didn’t want Allura treating him that way. She was the only one who never had. But she seemed frightened. _

_ “Lu, I promise, what happened that day wasn’t that bad. Besides, I went to train with Dayak right after that. It wasn’t so bad. I’m the Prince of Daibazaal, remember? We’re trained to be warriors.” _

_ She shifted uncomfortably. He could tell she wanted to go. That she wanted to run around in the open fields and sunshine but was preventing herself for his sake. She didn’t care much if she was punished, but it was him that she was concerned about. _

_ It was touching. But once again, he just wanted to be treated normally. _

_ “Please, Lu? Just one afternoon? I know you’re dying to drag me around outside, you can still worry about me outside?” he pointed out. _

_ She looked around. There was no one in the room. No one really watched them when they were in the privacy of the library. There was the old librarian and archivist, but it was so easy to get past him. Alfor and Melenor were not in the castle. They were not expected to return till late that evening. Although they had to have at least one adult in the room with them when they were anywhere, except for when they were supposed to be sleeping. Allura was used to it but it was excessive. Even before their punishment. _

_ There was a sigh of relief when she gave him a sneaky little smile. _

_ She stood up, a sign for him to do the same. The game was left as was. They could always come back to it, though it was unlikely. It was boring anyway. _

_ The two made their way to the door, of course the librarian’s desk was right by it. _

_ “And where do you two think you’re going?” he asked, peering over from his desk and stopping whatever it was that he was doing. His eyebrow was arched, his tone was accusatory. His eyes were narrowed in suspicion. _

_ “The courtyard,” Lotor lied, smoothly. “It’s a lovely day. There are guards posted everywhere.” _

_ For a moment, he wasn’t sure if it had worked. The librarian eyed them both. Allura wasn’t the best liar with her words, but she could put on an innocent face whenever necessary. _

_ “Very well. Run along, Your Highnesses,” he sat back once more. His attention was already returning to his previous task. _

_ Allura grabbed his hand and gently tugged him along. Lotor frowned. She was warm. That wasn’t new but this was...more than usual… _

_ The door to the library closed behind them and he squeezed her hand, signaling her to stop. _

_ “Yes?” she asked. _

_ “Lu, are you alright?” he asked. _

_ She was confused by the question, “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be? Now come on! There’s something I want to show you. We have to return before anyone realizes we’re even gone.” _

_ “Are you sure? If you’re not feeling-” he began to say but was cut off by her shaking her head. _

_ “I’m fine, I’m not fragile either,” she tried to reassure with the brightest smile that she could give. _

_ “A moment ago you were saying that you didn’t want to do anything for fear that I would get hurt,” he crossed his arms. _

_ His comment was met with a pout, “Yes. I worry that you will get hurt because of me. But...there is something I want to show you. And you want to be outside, do you not?” _

_ He sighed, “But will it hurt you?” _

_ She shook her head, “No of course not! I go there all the time. And you were right, I was dying to go outside. But after you fell from the tree…” _

_ Her voice trailed off and her face fell. He regretted bringing it up at all. _

_ She shook it off, “I’ll be with you the whole time, so I’ll know you’re safe.” _

_ He smiled softly at her as he let her take his hand once more. Her hand was still warm but she wasn’t giving off any other sign of unwellness for the time being. Maybe this warmth was normal. _

_ He was still not used to her warmth. Or warmth in general. _

_ He wouldn’t complain and allowed her to pull him along. Her little legs were fast and he had to keep up with her. _

_ They weren’t headed towards the main castle entrance. Obviously not, if they were sneaking out. But they always used the front and the little prince was not yet acquainted with the castle. _

_ But she was. _

_ He eyed her curiously, “Where are we going, Lula?” _

_ She turned her head to wink at him. _

_ “This castle is full of secrets. I’ll show you one right now…” _

_ His smile grew. How he loved good secrets and an opportunity to explore… _

_ \--- _

_ There was an exit near the backside of the castle on the right side. It wasn’t really an exit per say, there was a little climbing involved. But there were no guards watching. That would never fly on Daibazaal and seemed risky to the young prince. Of course there hadn’t been war in several years but… _

_ “Come on!” Allura squealed, bringing him out of his thoughts and grabbing his hand once more. _

_ She was still gentle as she tugged him along. They were running, they had to be back by a certain time. He just followed her lead. _

_ He’d seen the immediate area around the castle, with the little villages sprinkled around. He had only seen them in passing but Allura promised that during festival season, they came alive. That wasn’t until the Altean Autumn and Winter, but he was excited for it. _

_ Because it was alongside the backside of the castle, there was a clear view of the Altean Sea right by them. The castle had been on a high bluff and the sea was a thousand feet below. He could’ve stopped to stare but Allura continued to pull him along. He didn’t mind though. She seemed tired, she was running slower than usual. _

_ It was about a 10 dobosh run from the castle. The whole time, he got a look at the scenery. The sea on one side and the fields and mountains on the other. _

_ He saw this a million times and it never ceased to bring tears to his eyes. There was nothing like this on Daibazaal. This was paradise. And he wanted to be here forever. _

_ Just here. With her. _

_ “Here we are!” she declared excitedly and immediately all the air rushed out of his small lungs. _

_ They were on a large bluff, the ground was covered in wild grass. Hundreds of feet below them was the sea. The water was not calm today and there were dark clouds gathered in the horizon. But it made the sight even more beautiful. How he wished he had some paper and a pen. He wanted to capture this forever. _

_ “Isn’t it beautiful?” Allura sighed happily. _

_ He nodded in agreement, “It is, Lula. Thank you for showing me.” _

_ He thought about it for a moment. This was Allura’s happy place. She came here to escape her every day. It seemed odd for a princess but she was a clever one, knowing how to get away even when she was punished. Besides, it wasn’t too far away, he could see the castle nearby. _

_ But it meant so much that she would bring him to this place. This and the juniberry fields in the mountains, they were special to her. And he had seen them both. She had let him. _

_ He entwined their fingers, making her look down at their hands. _

_ “Lotor?” _

_ “Hm?” _

_ She paused for a moment, “Thank you for talking me out of coming out today.” _

_ He smiled in response to that. _

_ They looked out for some time and Lotor got lost in his thoughts. He thought about sailing the waves, braving them and exploring what was beyond them. He thought of coming here every so often to draw. He thought of exploring every nook. _

_ And in every thought, Allura would be by his side. She looked on, her gaze on the waves. He could hear the sounds of them crashing along the shore. _

_ There was a deep blush on her cheeks that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t a blush like other ones either. _

_ “Lu…?” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “What’s wrong?” he asked. _

_ She turned to him then and he saw her face. She was flushed and her eyes seemed a little unfocused. _

_ There was warmth from before. But now she seemed to be burning up. _

_ Oh no. _

_ “Maybe we should go back to the castle?” he offered but she shook her head. _

_ “‘M fine…” she insisted but she sounded weak. A small gust of wind blew past them and he could see her shivering. _

_ “We’re going back to the castle,” it wasn’t a suggestion this time. It was a gentle command, but this time he tugged her back. _

_ “Lotor…” she weakly protested, but he wouldn’t hear it. _

_ “No, Lula. I don’t want to fight about this. We’re going to get you back to the castle,” he pulled her along. _

_ She didn’t put up much resistance. It was unnerving how much energy she had lost since she had brought him here. Just a little while ago she was running, now it seemed like she was paper. _

_ He wanted to be gentle with her. He tugged gently and prayed that she would have enough strength to get back to the castle. _

_ “I wanted to stay longer and…” she trailed off, sounding so sad. And he felt terrible. _

_ “I know Lula. When you feel better, we can spend all day here if you want. But you don’t look so good…” _

_ It had been 10 doboshes to run. Walking would take longer, he needed her to be strong till then. _

_ It proved more difficult. Allura tried to walk but she was dragging her feet. She was trying her best but she was tiring herself out. And that was causing him to panic. _

_ He pulled her gently and kept her close, his eyes looking to her every so often to make sure she was still able to stand. _

_ “Lotor?” she whispered. _

_ He turned to her, “Yes?” _

_ “I-“ she started but she began wobbling. Thank the Ancients that Dayak had properly tuned his reflexes. He immediately moved to catch her when she fell forward. Of course it brought them both to their knees. _

_ “Lula!” he squeaked, his arms were securely locked around her. _

_ “I’m sorry, I can’t go any further,” she whispered. _

_ He teared up and he hated it. He hated how easily they came, how much panic he was feeling at the moment. But she had to move. There was no way to call out to anyone out here. They had to move. _

_ “Please Lu! You must! Please get up!” he begged, but it was futile. _

_ Her energy was gone but if they stayed out here, she would only get sicker. _

_ The thought of something happening to her scared him more than anything. Even the return to Daibazaal didn’t scare him so much. He’d go back to Daibazaal and never come back if it meant she’d be safe and healthy. _

_ He didn’t know his own strength, but he was incredibly desperate. _

_ He shifted and positioned her so that she leaned against his back. She wasn’t so heavy when he positioned her to wrap her arms around his neck. He hoisted her up. _

_ He was small so it was much weight on his back but he had to summon the will from somewhere. And he willed himself to move fast, deciding not to think about it. He would banish all thoughts other than returning her safely. _

_ There was still time before sunset and had to take as much advantage of the light as he could. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He vowed that to himself. _

_ He wanted to be with her forever. He vowed that he would marry her one day. He had to protect and be strong for her. But he was so frightened as well. _

_ She was too important. She had been there for him when he got hurt. He would be there for her forever. He swore it. _

_ He was moving fast and using all his strength to do it. Dayak would scold him because he could feel the strain already, but that was the least of his problems. _

_ “Lula, please stay awake,” he whispered to her. _

_ She hummed an incoherent response but she was still awake. That’s all that mattered to him. _

_ “Lula, I don’t want you hiding things from me,” he lightly admonished. “If you were sick, I would’ve tucked you into bed. Please know that…” _

_ “...sorry…” was the only response. _

_ He sighed and he continued. He was tired but the castle was approaching. Just a little more, he thought to himself. Just a little more and she could rest. She could be tended to. _

_ The clouds hung heavy overhead. He really had to hurry. He’d read about storms on Altea and they could get bad. And he didn’t want to expose her to the elements any more than he had. _

_ The entrance was right there. A good few hundred feet. That’s all he needed to tread. Allura was slumping on his back and he had to readjust. _

_ “Lotor, you don’t have to. I know that you are tired,” she whispered, her voice was so weak that his heart broke at it. _

_ “We’re almost there, Lula. I can see the gates. It’s nothing. I’m going to get you to the gates and there is nothing that you can do to stop me,” he told her. _

_ She seemed like she wanted to protest but she was too weak to do so. He begged her to hold on for just a little longer. _

_ The final stretch always seemed to be the worst. The longest and the most tiring. But it’s what he needed to do. _

_ There were guards posted at the entrance and as he neared he could hear one of them shout. _

_ “It’s Prince Lotor! He’s carrying the princess on his back!” _

_ He gritted his teeth, hoping at least one of them would have the sense to run over to them at that moment. This was an emergency. _

_ “Please!” he called out. “The Princess is ill…” _

_ He was either too far away or his voice was too tired to yell loud enough. _

_ He’d walk the whole way if he had to if they didn’t. _

_ He saw two guards running towards them as they neared and he smiled in relief. They’d get her warm and safe faster than he could. _

_ “Don’t worry, Lu. We’re back. You’ll be all better soon!” he comforted her. _

_ And he was trying to comfort himself as well. He needed to know that she would be alright again soon. _

_ She had already drifted off so she didn’t hear him. Her breaths, though heavy, were a reassurance that she’d only dozed off. _

‘Please let her be alright. Please…’ _ he begged to whatever divine force there was in the universe. _

_ \--- _

_ Initially, he had been kept out of Allura's sick room. Dayak had to hold him back as the medics tended to her. Alfor and Melenor were still not here, though they had been informed. Coran was the only one allowed into the room, as he was her guardian whenever the King and Queen weren’t present. _

_ “But-” he protested. _

_ “Enough,” Dayak said. “Let them do their job.” _

_ He wondered why Dayak was being so kind. _

_ It’s as if the older woman could read his thoughts, “You carried a sick girl who weighs as much as you, by yourself.” _

_ “Yes. And?” _

_ “You’ve learned a lesson that only pain could’ve taught you…” _

_ Ah, there it was. Dayak’s battlecry. He decided not to tell her that the pain in this case wasn’t in his limbs or muscles. They were somewhere else entirely. And he could not show this weakness in front of Dayak. _

_ It still came out in a fearful whisper, “Do you think she’ll be alright?” _

_ Dayak hummed, “The princess already has a strong will. And a defiant nature. She will come out of this stronger. You must believe that she can. And she will have learned all that-” _

_ Lotor groaned, “Really? She’s sick. Must everything be a lesson with you?” _

_ “Everything is a lesson, Prince. Especially when it comes to pain. Always remember that…” _

_ He frowned but said no more. There was no arguing with his governess lest he wanted another whacking. _

_ Eventually, the medics came out. A common, late warm weather flu. To the young prince, it was still devastating to hear. _

_ “May I go in?” he asked in his tiny little voice. _

_ They said that it wasn’t advisable. And so Dayak did not let him go in. Still, he could not be stopped from seeing her. He did not care if he got sick. _

_ And thanks to Allura, he knew how to slip around guards and even Dayak. So he liked to believe, in any case. _

_ He made quick work when he slipped into the room. She lay there, a wet cloth over her brow. Her cheeks were still flushed with fever. Her breathing was heavy, but at least she was still breathing. He approached quietly, so as to not disturb her. There was a chair next to her bed. _

_ He supposed it was lucky that Coran had other matters to attend to. Very few people knew the pass code to Allura’s door but he did. And he was able to slip in without notice. _

_ “Hi, Lula,” he whispered gently, climbing up onto the chair. _

_ She breathed, a tiny little sigh could be heard from her mouth. It was heartbreaking. _

_ He looked around and found her copy of ‘The Lion Goddess’ close by on her desk. He climbed down from the chair to grab the book. Perhaps hearing her favorite story would make her feel just a little better he hoped. _

_ He opened the book when he returned to the chair and started reading. _

_ “Once there was a mighty robot called Voltron…” _

_ \--- _

_ He ended up reading the story a few times. His eyes were burning with sleep but he forced himself to keep his eyes open. She needed him, he knew she did. Her breathing got so much steadier and calmer when he read the story. _

_ “Would you like to hear the story one more time?” he asked. _

_ Of course there was no answer, but he still searched her face. She was so peaceful when she slept, he noted. He couldn’t help it, he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. _

_ “I’m sorry. If I’d known, I never would’ve talked you into playing outside. Forgive me, Lula,” he sniffled. _

_ Only around her could he feel like he could cry and not feel shame for it. She had told him that there was no shame in crying. But he only felt safe doing it in front of her. Before he’d only cried alone. His father would yell at him, his mother would ignore him, and Dayak would admonish him for showing weakness. _

_ He’d apologize for it later, but he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, just as she had when he got hurt. He hoped it offered her the same amount of comfort and warmth and it had given him. _

_ The doors opened as he did it and he nearly jumped. Nearly. He just turned his head, knowing that he was possibly in trouble but accepting that he already was. He had let her get this sick. Whatever punishment came his way, he had to accept it. _

_ His stomach dropped a little when he saw the King and Queen walk in. He gulped and moved to get off of the chair but Queen Melenor held up her hand. _

_ “It’s alright, Lotor. Keep sitting,” she said, gently. She offered him a warm, comforting smile. _

_ And he couldn’t understand why. _

_ She didn’t answer but she went straight to her daughter, checking to see how her fever was. _

_ “She still has a fever. But she will be fine. She’s a little fighter, our little one,” she whispered, brushing the hair from the princess’ brow. She took the damn cloth, which was a little dry now and soaked it in the bowl next to her. Queen Melenor was a skilled healer and would be away whenever plagues broke out in other worlds. _

_ As she did this, Alfor turned to Lotor. _

_ “You should’ve been in bed long ago, young man,” he said, not unkindly. Lotor looked at him for a moment. Perhaps it was the worry, but Alfor’s age seemed to show on his face. Worried for his daughter’s health, Lotor supposed. _

_ “I know. But I had to watch her and make sure she’s alright,” he said, honestly. He didn’t add the part about how they went out today and it probably made her sicker. He was sure they knew that already. _

_ Alfor hummed, “That’s risky. You could end up ill.” _

_ Lotor didn’t care but he answered with, “I just wanted to see how she was doing.” _

_ Melenor turned to give him a gentle smile, “She’ll be just fine. A little weak for a few quintants, but she’ll return stronger than ever.” _

_ “You’ve been quite brave, through it all. You carried her all by yourself?” Alfor commended before asking. Even he seemed amazed that such a little boy could’ve accomplished something like that. He wasn’t scolding him for leaving the castle. He didn’t understand. _

_ Lotor nodded, though he felt no pride in it at all. He just wanted her to be alright. _

_ “You’ve done well, little prince,” Melenor assured him. He still didn’t feel like he did. _

_ There were moments of silence. He thought for a moment. From now on, he would protect her. He would keep her from harm. _

_ He repeated those words to Alfor and Melenor, “I promise I’ll be good to her. I’ll protect her and keep her safe. She’ll never get hurt with me around. I promise.” _

_ He sounded so tiny, so soft. But he meant every word. And he looked between the three of them. He was making the vow to Allura as well. _

_ The King and Queen smiled thoughtfully. Alfor reached out and gently stroked his hair. _

_ “I will hold you to it then, Lotor. I take my vows very seriously. Especially when it comes to my daughter. I expect you to honor it.” _

_ Lotor beamed at that. Alfor trusted him enough. _

_ “I will. I will honor it.” _

_ The Queen’s smile was so sweet and Lotor returned it. He would honor it. It was the most important and precious vow he’d ever made. _

_ He would honor it if it killed him. No harm would come to Allura ever again. He would take care of her. He’d try to make her happy. _

_ His hand had never left hers and he squeezed it once more. He hoped she’d heard or if not, felt the protective little squeeze. _

_ ‘You’re safe with me, Lula. You’re always safe with me….’ _

* * *

He felt like such a liar…

The vow that he had made felt worthless now. He hadn’t protected her. He had let great harm come to her. She hadn’t been safe with him, he’d only made her suffering worse. 

As if she would’ve been spared if Zarkon hadn’t somehow found out…

He still couldn’t look at it. The symbol of his great love, the necklace that adorned his forearm. Dayak looked on disapprovingly. 

He ignored it. 

He had to remind himself that he had to ignore his guilt and self-loathing as well. 

He was burning up but he felt so cold. Was there a draft? How could that be? They were in space. So why did he feel so cold? Yet his skin was on fire. 

His generals were eyeing him. He could see that. Concern was it? Even Narti had her head in his general direction. Kova was staring at him, perhaps with concern as well. He decided to move a bit. 

Big mistake. 

He found himself wobbling before falling forward. He could barely register the situation when he felt big strong arms catch him. 

“Zethrid…” he flinched at how hoarse he sounded and how slurred it came out. 

“Okay, that’s enough, we’re carrying you to bed,” she mumbled and Lotor felt himself being slung over her shoulder. 

“Really, I’ll be fine…” he protested weakly. 

“You’re passing out. You won’t be of any use if you die now,” Zethrid wasn’t having any of it and he could feel them moving forward. 

“Acxa, tell her-” he began but felt a wave of nausea hit him first. 

“Woah, hey! Don’t puke all over my armor, sir!” 

“Also, forgive me sir. Zethrid’s right. You are much too ill and you need time to recuperate…” Acxa apologized. 

“There is still much to be done,” he protested one last time. But the generals were not going to budge on this one. 

“There’s still time…” he heard, but he wasn’t sure from whom. Everything was going dark. 

“No…” he could muster before the universe went dark… 

\--- 

It was like he was floating. Floating in the dark of the void. As if he was returning to the very place that he had come from. 

It was a feeling he had not experienced since the destruction of Altea. A feeling like he was falling and rising all at once. Swimming through an infinite void. It seemed to be a perfect metaphor for his life back then. There had been nothing but darkness everywhere he looked. Darkness behind him, in front of him. 

He’d craved death back then. 

Now? He knew he had to get back up and continue working. He had to find Voltron. He had to know who the new defenders were. He had to form alliances with all the systems on the fringes. He needed to protect what he could of the universe so that no one else had to suffer. He had to remove Zarkon from power.

But he could not bring himself to mention the final thing he had to do. Because if he so much as dared to think it, hope would bloom in his heart. His heart was already thoroughly broken. But it could still break more till it was nothing but dust. 

He couldn’t...he just couldn’t. 

He had to float back up. He had to get back on his feet. He had to. 

_ “Lotor… _” he heard a voice. A soft, familiar one. A voice that he never thought that he would hear again. 

He looked around. He looked everywhere. He saw nothing. 

“_ Lotor… _” the voice called out again. 

He couldn’t speak, he tried opening his mouth but words didn’t come out. 

“_ Wake up, my love _…” it said to him. 

‘_ I’m trying!’ _he screamed in his head and it was so loud there. 

_ “Follow my voice. Come on now, you can do it… _” 

Where? Where was it? He was so confused. He looked around. Her voice...there was no mistaking it. It was her. But what was she doing here? He was panicking now. 

“_ You can do it… _” she said again and he followed it this time. And he steadily began to rise, his body floated all the way up now. The dark was beginning to break and there was light. The same light every time he woke up… 

And oh how his eyes watered when he opened them. He groaned and turned his head only to be met with the sight that he never thought that he would see again. There she stood, Allura, in all her beauty. His princess. At his bedside. She was smiling at him, he couldn’t imagine why. But she looked at him. She didn’t speak. This had to be a dream. Why would she be here? She wasn’t. She never would be again and he didn’t dare hope that she still was. Was this his mind projecting the hope that he dared not echo even in the privacy of his own thoughts? She was as beautiful as he remembered. There was a soft glow around her. 

His angel. 

“Lu…” he rasped. 

She didn’t answer. 

“Allura...Lula...my love…” he sounded so weak, so desperate, so sad… 

She continued to smile sadly at him. Just as she had when she bid him farewell that day. The last time he would ever see her. 

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. 

She didn’t move, she didn’t say anything. He couldn’t reach out to touch her. He felt far too weak for it. 

“I couldn’t save you. I swore I would make it better and it cost you everything. Please...forgive me...if you can…” 

Even now, he felt it. The weight of what had happened all that time ago. Of course it had. Altea had been his home. He was still lost without it. A broken hearted prince in exile, with no real home to return to. It had all been taken from him. But he was the last of his kind. He was the last of Altea. 

He could not allow it to be extinguished. He had to live on. But he was haunted. 

And her beautiful, smiling face hurt. 

“I failed you. I failed you miserably. I’m failing you now as Zarkon continues to take more and more. I failed in everything I vowed to you. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry…” he was feeling light headed again and his tears were burning his eyes once more. She was looking down at him again, smiling. 

The vision of his bride that he kept locked inside of his heart for eternity. A tear slipped from his eye. 

“I’m sorry, Lula. I’m so sorry…” 

He was slipping again and he let himself. Darkness surrounded him again. He had just one final thought before it enveloped him once more. 

_ I’m failing you. I’m failing all of you… _

\--- 

When he came to again, he didn’t quite feel like death. He was sweating profusely, though. His fever had probably broken. And he could think a little better. He was in his room, in his big bed. Most likely. 

He opened his eyes, the damned light was still too bright. And he groaned. 

“I guess he’s waking up…” Ezor’s voice was quiet, but it was still clearly Ezor’s voice. She sounded unusually tired. 

“Shh…” was the next thing he heard but it was unclear from who, he guessed it was Acxa. There really were only three options there. 

He groaned. He was stiff just about everywhere. 

He opened his eyes completely to see his generals at various sides of his bed. Zethrid at the foot, Ezor to his left, Acxa and Narti to his right. Kova seemed to be cuddled up to his side. How rare, he almost never left Narti’s side for any reason whatsoever. 

He shifted a little. 

“Woah, be careful there,” Ezor moved to adjust his pillow, making Lotor sigh. 

“It’s alright, Ezor. I don’t need to be coddled, I’m fine.” 

No one looked convinced and even Acxa was giving him a look. He certainly felt better, but he felt weaker. And he had to recover his strength and soon. 

He turned to look at them, his voice still heavy with sleep. 

“How long was I out?” 

“Three quintants, sir,” Acxa responded and Lotor looked alarmed. 

“Three quintants-! Why didn’t anyone try to wake me?” he tried getting up but he was stopped. Narti stood in his way. If she had eyes, she would be glaring at him right now. 

“Oh no you don’t, you workaholic,” Zethrid got up and came over to the side of his bed. She pushed him back before he could even get a leg out of bed. He groaned in a bit of pain when he fell back.

Acxa sighed, “Sir, you need to rest. You’ve been working yourself into the ground.” 

Lotor frowned, surely it wasn’t so bad? 

“I know that look,” Ezor chimed in. “It was that bad. You looked like you were going to fall over any tick.” 

He looked up at the ceiling, the frown glued to his face. 

“There is a lot to be done. Voltron is back. I have a few crucial alliances that I need to make before executing my plans. I cannot afford to rest…” 

He floated back into his thoughts, though he could just picture the look on his generals’ faces. Well, he could see them from the corner of his eye. They were looking at each other, each with their own questioning expression. Even Narti’s head was turned towards them. 

“If there’s something you have to say, you might as well…” he was looking at them now, waiting for someone to speak up. 

Ezor looked like she was going to say something, but she looked to Zethrid instead. Who in turn looked to Acxa. It was rather annoying. 

“Well? Is anyone going to speak up?” he demanded, his voice getting louder with each word. 

“Well…” Zethrid started, still looking back and forth between the generals. 

Acxa shook her head, “Maybe it’s not the best time to-” 

“Who’s Allura?” Ezor cut in. She’d been the most impatient, excitable as usual.

But the question seemed to bring everything to a halt. Acxa looked like she was going to scold her, Zethrid’s lips were pursed, and Narti had her arms folded. Kova stood up straight up at the mention of the name. 

Lotor felt his own breath stop momentarily. 

“...Where did you hear that name?” he asked, his voice was hushed. 

“You kept saying it in your sleep. You even started calling Narti by Allura. And Lu. And Lula I think…” Zethrid responded. 

Figures he’d been hallucinating. 

He must have looked as sad as he felt because Acxa was immediately apologizing. 

“I’m sorry I told them that it wasn’t a good idea to bring it up,” she said before turning to them, “I told you now wasn’t the time!” 

“He kept saying it, besides you were curious too. You’ve wanted to ask!” Ezor argued. 

“Yes but it’s not my place to know unless he wants to share it. It’s obviously very personal and I think we should respect-” she began to argue back. 

“Enough!” 

Everyone looked to Lotor. He had a semi-cross look on his face. He rubbed his face, thinking about how to answer this question. 

He could just say that she was his wife. He could say that she was his love. He could also say that she was his other half, his heart. He could say that she was the bit of his soul that he’d been missing since Altea’s destruction. He could say all of that. But there was really one word to describe her. 

“She was...everything…” 

They didn’t expect that answer and they looked at him, puzzled. Everything, it was the truth. She was everything to him. She still was. She would always be. 

“Everything…” Zethrid repeated back and he nodded. 

“Yes, everything. She still is…” 

He didn’t elaborate. There wasn’t anything else to elaborate. He hoped they would get the message and it seems like they did. But he felt like he had to apologize. 

“I am sorry…” 

And now they were confused. 

“For what, sir?” Acxa asked. 

“You do much for me. I’m sorry I’ve made you worry so much. Thank you for watching over me as I recover,” he answered. 

They smiled, even Zethrid, who only did when she was blowing up things. As if to tell him that it was alright. 

“Have any of you taken a rest?” was his next question. 

“In shifts,” Zethrid answered. 

He supposed he was touched by that. He showed it with a small smile. He turned his head to Kova, looking over him, with a familiar look of concern. It had been so long since Kova was close to him. He patted the cat on his head and it earned him a nuzzle and a purr. 

“I’m sorry for making you worry again…” he mumbled. 

Another nuzzle as if to say that he was forgiven. 

There were a few moments of silence where he continued to pet Kova as his generals looked on at him. Everyone was just quiet, but Lotor preferred the silence sometimes. 

“Where is Dayak?” he asked. 

“Taking care of things around here. She’s not happy,” Ezor answered. 

Acxa groaned while Lotor sighed. 

“No I wouldn’t expect her to be. I expect she’ll be charging in here any moment now, demanding to see me alone and sending you out…” 

“Well she did say to call for her if you woke up, so…” Zethrid mumbled but Lotor heard it. 

“And did you?” he asked, fully well knowing that they couldn’t have possibly. 

“Nope. Thought you deserved some rest before she started her nagging and her ordering. How do you do it?” Zethrid grumbled, rubbing her face. 

Lotor chuckled a bit, “You get used to it. It comes from a caring place.” 

“Ooooh, don’t tell her you said that,” Ezor responded. 

“Believe me, I would never.” 

Acxa joined in, “Well, I suppose this means you’re feeling better?” 

Lotor nodded, “Yes. I should be up to full strength when I wake up next.” 

Acxa nods, “That’s good to hear. We were all-” 

Acxa was cut off by the sound of the door opening. They all turned their heads to see Dayak standing in the door. Her tall, slender frame was imposing as ever. 

She did not look pleased. Not that it was anything new. 

“Speak of the devil,” Zethrid mumbled only to be shushed by Acxa. 

Dayak strode right in, shoulders back and back straight. She was in no mood for pleasantries so it seemed. She looked over at him, sitting up now and in much better health. 

“I told you to call upon me when he woke,” everyone flinched at the iciness of her tone. 

“Apologies, ma’am. He just came to and-” Acxa explained only to be cut off by her hand. 

“That is no excuse. Leave us,” she commanded. And they did not hesitate as they were all on their feet in half a tick. 

“Go on,” Lotor whispered to Kova, gently nudging him towards Narti. The cat obeyed and hopped onto Narti’s shoulders. She looked towards Lotor. 

“Thank you,” he told her and she nodded in acknowledgment before joining the others. 

They all gave him a look that read, “Good luck” before the door closed once more, leaving him with the older woman. 

“Dayak-” he began to say but she raised her hand again. 

“I presume you are returning to full health,” she said, her tone icy as ever. And it sent shivers right through him. 

“I am, thank you.” 

“Hm…” 

He shifted, “How are things? Is there any news?” 

She shook her head, “There is nothing new. And there will continue to be nothing new. Not until you accept the possibility of what I told you mere quintants ago.” 

His stomach dropped at the mention of that. No, he didn’t want to talk about this. He did not want to think about it. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” he was quick to play dumb. It was foolish to do that with Dayak, he knew. 

“You know exactly what I mean, Lotor. And you will face up to it because you are exposing your softness to the entire universe. Look at you, bedridden at the mere idea that she is alive!” 

The words cut through him, they cut very deep. She hadn’t said it till now. He hadn’t even allowed himself to think about it. 

“Dayak, that’s enough,” his voice was just above a whisper. 

“No, it is not enough! You have made yourself sick! You are calling out her name in state. Enough of this. You will have to admit it to yourself!” her voice was steadily rising.

But he didn’t move a muscle. 

“Do not…” he pleaded. 

“No. You are not weak! I will not allow you to be!” 

“Dayak, do you not think that I haven’t-” he was cut off by her once more. 

“No, you haven’t. You do not wish to give yourself hope so you preoccupy yourself with meaningless tasks!” 

He was about to say something but he could not. He found himself unable to talk. He was trying so hard not to think about it. He was fighting it. 

“Perhaps hope is what you need!” she growled. 

“Dayak, stop it. I can’t. Not with this. Don’t allow me to hope for what I can never have again. Many have come before you. I cannot!” He sounded so broken and he hated it. He hated it so much. 

“You can. You will. I will not take this from you. You’ve worn the necklace around your arm all these millennia without once looking at it. You will look at it. You will confront the truth!” she reached into her robes and Lotor’s heartbeat accelerated. It was beating so fast that he was afraid that it would stop altogether. 

“What-” he realized that he didn’t have it with him when he touched his bare skin. His breath hitched. 

“Dayak. That’s not fair, give it back at once!” he growled. 

She did not budge. She was not threatened by him. She’d never been and she was not going to start now. 

“I may be in exile but I am still the prince! Give it back!” he barked. 

“You will look at it first!” she held it up but Lotor turned away, his eyes squeezed shut. He could feel the tears forming but he refused to cry. Not in front of Dayak. He had done it once, never again. 

But he was curious. And that part of his mind was nagging him to look, just once. 

“Lotor...Lotor you must confront this. This cannot continue,” she took on an uncharacteristically gentle tone. But he would not be moved by it. 

“There is nothing to confront! Why are you prodding at old wounds? Why are you trying to give me hope? She’s gone and no amount of hope can ever bring her back to me!” he hissed. 

“Then why won’t you look? What do you fear? Is it seeing your hopes dashed again at the reminder of her loss? Or is it because you cannot bear to have it at all? Look at it, Lotor. Just once,” she said, softly. 

“Dayak, I can’t! Please…” he was begging now. How uncharacteristic of him. He was begging himself too. Hope was blooming and it made him sick. 

“You can. I don’t want to hear that you can’t. You haven’t lived this long with that attitude. Look at it, Lotor. Confront it. You cannot remain so soft. Especially not now…” Dayak’s hand was close, he could feel it. 

“What would it accomplish? Shattering me again?” he asked. 

“Just look,” she insisted, but she was growing tired. 

So many thoughts ran through his head. His heart was beating so hard against his ribs that he was sure that it would break right through them. His curiosity was winning. 

The rational part of his mind was losing. And perhaps it was the longing that caused him to turn his head and open his eyes and come face to face with it once more. One of the symbols of his greatest love, in his view of once more. 

A familiar, bright glow. 

For the second time that movement, a lone, solitary tear slid down his cheek...


	5. The Same Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to everyone who's commented and left kudos. You all keep me motivated to keep on writing this fic! Also if you haven't figured it out yet, I update this fic once every two months! About this chapter: Well I like the idea of Lotor having a number of relationships in his life. I hope you enjoy! 💜💖

_ Lotor preferred to have his dinner here. Allura was getting better but she was still very weak. It had been a movement and he found that there was very little else that he could do. Doing anything was difficult. Resnal had taken pity on him and for once, he appreciated it. _

_ He blamed himself in part for this. Allura had ignored her own health to take him outside so that he wouldn’t die of boredom. She cared so much for him. _

_ He was playing with his food. He wasn’t very hungry right now. _

_ He just liked to watch her and change her wet cloth every so often. Well that was before, now her fever was gone, she was only resting. He let her. _

_ This is how he spent his free time and he wasn’t stupid, he knew how the servants watched as he entered and exited her room. Occasionally some would come in. He knew they were watching. He knew they were whispering. _

_ He didn’t care. She needed him. _

_ He watched her. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow. She had the most serene look on her face. He always thought she was pretty but he really noticed it in moments like this. It was like looking at one of those princesses in fairy tales _

_ But she was better. She was real. _

_ “Would you like to hear a story, Lula?” he asked. Perhaps he thought she would answer. He sighed when she inevitably didn’t answer. _

_ He knew her favorite story. He could recite it by heart, he’d read it so many times now. But maybe something different. _

_ He grabbed one randomly off the shelf and walked back to his chair. It was heavy and probably weighed more than him but he carried it back to the chair all the same. _

_ “How about it, Lula?” he asked, opening up the book. _

_ This was a story that he’d heard before. It was the story of how a highborn Altean Lady ran off with a high-ranking Galra officer. It wasn’t so much a fairy tale as it was their history. The beginning of a long, tired war between their two planets. Altea and Daibazaal’s troubles had only been settled not too long ago. There had been a long, bloody history between them. A friendship between Zarkon and Alfor had healed the divide initially, but it was the marriage between Zarkon and Honerva that ushered in a new era. _

_ One of the things that gave him a small sense of pride. He was the result of such a union. That was more appreciated here than it was on Daibazaal. _

_ Also on Daibazaal, the bloody facts were never hidden. He was almost certain that this wasn’t the case on Altea. _

_ Allura only kept the stories that she really liked in her room. She must have liked it very much. _

_ The story was similar to the one that he had heard. A highborn lady of Altea ran off with a high-ranking officer, the emperor’s right hand man to be exact. She was to be married off to a lesser prince. But she fell in love instead and vanished. Their love had become known to anyone who’d ever seen them together. Both had shared a love and desire to see the stars. A couple of hopeful star farers, finding love through a common dream. Through a series of unnecessarily complicated twists and turns, they ran off. They ran off to see the stars. _

_ This version of the story had their love triumph and they lived happily ever after. And when they died, they became one of the constellations. The lovers. Everyone from Altea to Daibazaal could see it at night. It amazed even him. _

_ He smiled. That was the story that he wanted to hear. The story of two people who were in love and it rose above all else. _

_ He didn’t want to hear about how their love destroyed everything. How they were treacherous and foolish for doing what they did. He didn’t want to hear about how they were found and dealt with. For her, it had come swiftly. For him, he was put in the pits. At least they had been reunited as stars. Aside from that? He dared not think about it… _

_ “...and so with the blessing of the Altean King and the Galra Emperor, the Lady and Officer lived happily ever after…” _

_ He closed the book with a smile before shifting his gaze to her face. Still peacefully asleep. He reached forward and carefully brushed a strand of hair aside. _

_ “Please get better soon…” _

_ The sound of the door opening was the only thing that could’ve torn his eyes away from her. He immediately stood up at the sight of the king. _

_ Stood up? He nearly fell out of his chair and scrambled. How graceful of him. _

_ “Your Majesty,” he said, bowing at his waist. _

_ Alfor smiled instead, it was still so odd. If he was shown to be making mistakes or even a little bit flustered, Dayak was usually instructed to beat it out of him. Zarkon’s words anyway. Dayak just did what she felt that she had to. _

_ But Alfor wasn’t his father or Dayak, “You spend your days here.” _

_ Lotor nodded, “I vowed to keep her safe. And I want to be here when she wakes up.” _

_ Alfor’s smile didn’t disappear and instead he nodded. His attention then went to his sleeping daughter. He gently touched her face. _

_ “She must be tired. But she’ll be well soon,” he reassured. _

_ Lotor nodded, “I hope so.” _

_ “You truly care for her…” Alfor commented. _

_ Lotor didn’t hesitate to nod his head, “She’s my friend. She’s kind. I will always care for her. As she cares for me.” _

_ There was a moment of silence that followed. Lotor continued to look at the princess, peaceful and unaware of anything that was going on. Peaceful. Happy. Taken care of. That’s what she deserved. _

_ “Would you take a walk with me?” Alfor asked. _

_ Sure if it was the king asking, he couldn’t exactly refuse. Not that he would. But he just looked at Allura one more time before following after the king. It must’ve been important. Alfor had, so far, never asked him to talk privately until now. The age of 6 was what was decided upon. But his 6th natal day had not yet come. Lotor never thought it made much sense for his father to send him to Altea a year early. _

_ He wanted to believe it was so that he could get more comfortable. So that he wouldn’t be thrown right in. _

_ His father was not so kind. It was probably to get him out of his sight. _

_ For once he wondered what it would be like to have a father that was actually proud of him and seemed to want him around. He wanted to know what it was like to have a father who didn't criticize every little thing he did. He wanted to know what it was like to have a father who didn't order a governess to beat the “impurities” and “undesirable” qualities out of him. He just wanted a father to look at him the way Alfor looked at him just now. Perhaps...maybe he could have what he wanted…. _

_ \--- _

_ Lotor walked beside the king in silence for a few moments. King Alfor walked in long strides so it took time for the little boy to catch up. He didn’t say anything but Alfor noticed anyway. _

_ “Oh! Forgive me, I do this a lot. Melenor scolds me for it even,” he said, stopping. Lotor looked up at his face and saw that the man was smiling. A warm, genuine kind of smile. The kind Allura gave him. _

_ Now he kind of understood why. Allura was surrounded by love and warmth. She wanted him to feel that way as well. _

_ It was a walk through the courtyard, something he had seen several times before. Though, he didn’t get to play much since he had fallen out of the tree. Allura had been terrified and then she’d gotten sick. He didn’t really like spending his days outside knowing that she couldn’t. It was probably his first taste of fresh air in quintants. _

_ “So,” Alfor finally said after a few moments of silence. “How are you finding Altea?” _

_ “It’s beautiful. There is so much to see in just the surrounding area. The people are friendly,” he answered. It was rehearsed, that was true, but he genuinely felt that way. Everything here was just...beautiful. He felt at home here. He felt appreciated here. He could repeat it forever, it was still so new. _

_ Alfor smiled thoughtfully, “The rest of our little world is just as beautiful. Perhaps once Allura is up to full strength, Melenor can take you both with her to one of the nearby villages. As heir, it’ll be her duty. And once the seasons change, we will be moving back to our bigger castle in our capital city. There is even more to see there.” _

_ His ears perked up at the mention, “Really?” _

_ He sounded so excited that his voice went up several octaves. And he didn’t even care. _

_ Alfor chuckled, “Indeed. This is our seasonal retreat. When the summer by the sea ends, we will return to our capital. I assure you there is much more to do there. Here, I’m sure you have much fun running around. But there…there is where your wardship can truly begin. The best teachers, the best alchemists, the best education on this planet.” _

_ Allura’s happy place must’ve been only for when she escaped during the warm season. She hadn’t really specified, only that she liked going there. But he wondered if Allura liked it better over there than she did here. He could see why. The scenery was beautiful but it was lonely out here as well. She was probably the only child here before he came along. _

_ But even so, he was excited. He felt as if he should know this. Of course there would be another palace. This particular castle was too far away from any people or town. He had to admit that there was relief in that. Perhaps Allura would be happier there. _

_ “My daughter. She has changed since you’ve been here…” _

_ Lotor stopped walking for a tick in surprise. _

_ “Oh?” _

_ Alfor nodded, “I can’t quite put my finger on it but she’s somehow...brighter. Happier. And I think it has everything to do with you.” _

_ He paused for a moment, “I take my vows very seriously, young man. But today, I want to extract another vow from you.” _

_ “Anything, Your Majesty.” _

_ “If the day comes where I can no longer protect her, even from herself, will you? Will you protect her?” _

_ There was no question. He wasn’t sure what Alfor meant but there was no question. _

_ “Always,” he vowed. _

_ And that seemed to give Alfor some sort of relief because the man smiled. As if there was something very heavy taken from his shoulders. Lotor wondered but he didn’t ask. Because as it stood, it didn’t matter. Not when it came to Allura. _

_ They walked by the tree and Lotor couldn’t help but stare at it. Ah, there it was. What started it all. The fall wasn’t fun but what it made him realize, he was always thankful for it. _

_ “Hm?” Alfor said before turning to the tree. “Ah, that tree…” _

_ Lotor blinked, “Ah, yes. I...fell from it a while ago…” _

_ Alfor chuckled at that. Lotor failed to see what exactly was so funny. Falling wasn’t fun. Was the king making fun of him? _

_ “Forgive me,” he said, the laughs coming to a stop. “I see you are like me in several ways.” _

_ Lotor looked up at the king with a confused expression. _

_ Alfor smiled, “When I was a boy, just around your age, I fell from that tree as well. I believe I was hiding, I don’t remember all that well.” _

_ Lotor continued to look up at him. It was the same story. _

_ “Oh it hurt terribly. I thought there was no worse pain in the world. But I refused to cry. Because surely boys don’t cry, they must be strong…” _

_ Ah, yes that was something he had heard. Crying was considered a weakness. No one, boy or girl could cry. Showing weakness was unacceptable. And it was even worse on him. He was a prince, He absolutely could not show any signs of weakness. He was to lead. How could he lead if he did not exemplify strength? It was Allura who had taught him otherwise. _

_ “What happened?” he asked. _

_ Alfor was smiling still but there was a look of fondness on his face. Well, it was deeper than that. _

_ “Melenor found me and assured me that it was alright for me to cry. She always saw right through me.” _

_ Lotor’s eyes went wide. _

_ “After that, she kissed the spot where it hurt and the rest was history…” he finished. _

_ Lotor could swear that his cheeks were on fire just by how warm they felt at that moment. _

_ \--- _

_ Lotor was in a daze. In an absolute trance after he parted with Alfor, who had meetings to attend to. _

_ It was the same story. It was exactly what had happened to him. And he couldn’t help but wonder if this was possibly a sign. No, it was a sign. He could feel it in his bones. And once again, he felt as though he was walking in the air. And he just felt that much more determined now. _

_ The vow he made before that. Everything seemed to just point to his vow to Dayak becoming a reality. Perhaps the universe wasn’t so mean after all. _

_ He was completely lost in his thoughts and his guard was down. His cheeks were completely warm and maybe he was skipping just a little. Dayak would not approve. _

_ “Lotor!” _

_ Speak of the devil and she appears… _

_ He turned on his heel to see Dayak a few feet away, her arms crossed and her brow raised. Her disapproving stare, which admittedly, was a look that he was already used to. She was tapping the crop against her arm. _

_ He sighed, “Yes Dayak?” _

_ “It’s not becoming of a prince to skip and be lost in his own world. You look like a fool. _

_ He mumbled, “What is becoming of a prince?” _

_ “What was that?” _

_ He stood up straight, “Nothing. Of course nothing. Forgive me, Dayak. Is it time for training already?” _

_ “No, The Emperor wishes to speak with his son, The Prince…” _

_ And now Lotor really stood straight. Whatever uplifting feelings he had just a moment ago completely vanished. It was replaced by an icy cold feeling of dread. He must’ve looked as scared as he felt because Dayak’s expression grew sterner. _

_ “Wipe that look off of your face. Do not show weakness,” she reminded him. _

_ It was meant to be a scolding and warning. But he also knew that this was her way of protecting him from his father’s wrath. _

_ “When?” he whispered. _

_ “10 doboshes…” _

_ He didn’t have time. He couldn’t panic. He couldn’t show that he was panicking. His father would not tolerate it. He swallowed and followed Dayak. Even trying to calm himself, he could feel his legs shaking. _

_ Not good. _

_ \--- _

_ He stood straight, Dayak stood to his left. He was tense but he stared at the monitor. It was mere ticks now. He hadn’t seen his father in almost two phoebs and if he was being honest? They were the happiest phoebs of his young life. He hated it. _

_ A servant had let it slip once that things were once different. He actually had parents that wanted him. He would’ve preferred not to hear it. _

_ “Ahem…” Dayak cleared her throat and Lotor realized that he had slouched a little bit. _

_ He stood up straight as a rod. _

_ “It will only be a dobosh or two. Do not show him your weakness and it will be over quickly…” _

_ Her tone was even but there was a hint of something else. Dare he think it was...motherly? He kept a straight face. He should have learned to by now. He already mastered that with his father. _

_ Then there was the inevitable sound of the transmission. He forced himself to look right at the monitor. _

_ His father’s face was...somehow different than he remembered. The yellow eyes were the same, the hard frown, and the lines on his face were all the same. But there was something different. It was the way he looked at him. It was with even more distance and unfamiliarity. And he didn’t look...too good. _

_ He bowed, “Father. You look well.” _

_ A laughable lie. _

_ His father did not respond. He stood up straight again. _

_ “Is all well? I trust mother is radiant as ever…” _

_ It was a little bitter, he had to admit. But his father never caught on. _

_ “Hm,” was the only response that he received. _

_ He said no more after a pointed look from Dayak. It was his turn to stop talking. Technically, he wasn’t supposed to be talking unless spoken to. Even then, he was only to answer questions. _

_ “Update me on the prince’s progress.” _

_ Lotor could’ve flinched but he didn’t. His father’s voice was somewhat distorted. He didn’t remember it sounding quite like that when he left. Not that he spent much time with his father during his early years. _

_ “Mentally, he’s developing rapidly. I have had him tested. His tactical abilities are unlike anything in our recorded history. His tutor has informed me that he is excelling in his studies and is far more advanced than anyone his age…” _

_ Lotor inwardly snorted. As if his father cared about that. No, his father wanted him to become a soldier. A sign of strength. Surely nothing else was required of a potential leader. Surely a good head on his shoulder wasn’t necessary. _

_ Yes, life at his father’s court had made him a tad precocious. _

_ “Physically…” he heard Dayak pause. “Physically, he’s much smaller in stature than expected of the Galra Royal Lineage. But he’s agile and quick on his feet. He’s a quick learner and I believe that when his actual training begins, he will not be so easily defeated.” _

_ He was surprised. Dayak’s compliments were few and far between. But it meant much to him that she felt that way. She wouldn’t lie to Zarkon. It wouldn’t end well for her if she was caught in a lie. _

_ He was pretty sure that he was beaming at the comment. _

_ His father didn’t say anything for a good long while and he was nervous about that. He kept his head lowered and his posture straightened. _

_ “Very well. I expect reports by the phoebs. Also, he begins training after his next natal day, I want reports by the movement. After half a deca-phoeb he will return to Daibazaal for a movement and he will show all that he has learned. We will make sure that he is not simply wasting his time there.” _

_ He was sure his father wasn’t trying to sound angry. But the thought of having to return to Daibazaal made his skin crawl. But it was inevitable, even he’d been told that he would have to. He had absolutely no choice or say in the matter. _

_ Although he wasn’t quite sure why his father even bothered to care. His father rarely bothered with anything he did, instead spending his time with his mother in her lab. He had long since given up trying to seek any kind of approval or warmth from them. _

_ But still, it made him sad. It made him feel lonely. But only did he realize what he’d been missing when he came here. _

_ Dayak bowed, “As you wish, sire.” _

_ “And you boy,” his father’s voice boomed as he turned his attention back to his son. Lotor raised his head to meet his father’s eyes. _

_ “Yes, father?” _

_ “You understand, yes?” he asked gruffly. _

_ “Of course,” he said, softly. _

_ “Good. I will not have you waste your time there. You are still the heir to our mighty Empire and I expect you to behave as such.” _

_ Lotor closed his eyes and recited the words he had been hard wired to say every time he was in front of his father, “Everything I do, I do in the name of Galra.” _

_ His father didn’t answer. He just sat back. Before the screen went black again, he noted how bored his father looked. _

_ He didn’t care. And it hurt to admit. _

_ As if Dayak could read his mind, she spoke. _

_ “He cares in his own way. He was so pleased when you were coming along. He stayed with you through your illnesses as a child. He worked tirelessly to find a cure. He wants you to be strong.” _

_ Somehow, even with the words of his governess, he didn’t believe it. Dayak was rarely wrong, but this was one of those rare times. His father only wanted to keep up appearances. If his parents loved him once, he didn’t remember it. As far as he knew, they never cared for him. Not in the way King Alfor cared for Allura. _

_ Then, as if his brain was desperate to change the subject, he remembered something. _

_ “You will be returning to Daibazaal soon, yes?” he asked. _

_ It was something she had to do. She had other business to attend to but she would be back. She always came back. _

_ “Yes. For a movement.” _

_ “Could you bring something from home? I forgot when I came here,” Lotor requested. _

_ “What is it?” she asked. _

_ “Kova,” Lotor said. He had thought of his cat often. His mother had all but given the feline to him. And he was a native Altean cat. Perhaps he would like to return home. He must’ve been so lonely. And Allura, she would adore him. He was sure of it. _

_ “Bring Kova. The Princess will like Kova, wouldn’t you think?” _

_ \--- _

_ It was like releasing air from his lungs when he was finally allowed to go about the rest of his day. Which was not much. Night was more appropriate. The sun was setting. But he would spend his time till he was forced to go back to his room to rest in Allura’s. He would watch over her, in case she needed anything. He’d made a vow after all. _

_ He opened the door to her room and to surprise and delight, she was sitting up. She was rubbing her eyes, she’d spent so long in her slumber. _

_ “Lu? Lula?” he called out, the door closing behind him. _

_ Allura stopped rubbing her eyes. She looked to see that it was him and there was an immediate smile on her face. He did take a moment to admire her. _

_ Her curls were in disarray from lying down but they still tumbled down, albeit clumsily, beautifully. And against the backdrop of a dark room, her eyes shined so bright. _

_ A true beauty, he could look at her forever. _

_ Lotor approached her. _

_ “I was just thinking about you,” she confessed and it caught him a little off-guard. And his cheeks burned once again. _

_ “Oh?” _

_ “I found this book here. Did you read it?” she asked. _

_ He smiled and nodded, “I read it to you. Galra children have the same story.” _

_ He got to the edge of the bed and smiled up at her. _

_ She stretched, “It’s another favorite. So romantic.” _

_ The sigh was cute. He wouldn’t burst her bubble. She was better off in having hopes and dreams of a united future. That’s what they all needed now. _

_ “Did you need anything, Lula?” he asked. _

_ She paused for a moment, really taking a moment to think about it. _

_ “Some fresh air would be lovely…” _

_ The room had a large and lovely balcony. They could go there as it was much too late to go outside anyway. _

_ “Come. We can sit out on the balcony,” he offered out his hand and she took it. He gently helped her off of the bed. _

_ She was so weak from her illness. He knew she could walk on her own but he supported her anyway. She didn’t complain, she seemed grateful. _

_ The night was comfortable. He was sure for Allura, the room had grown stuffy so this was a nice change. There was a comfortable breeze that blew past them both. _

_ And on the balcony, there was a cozy cushion space where they could sit and see the view in front of them. _

_ He made sure she was comfortable before gently taking the place beside her. _

_ There was a moment of silence. And Lotor admired the scene again. The large fields that seemed to stretch endlessly for miles and the mountains that were on both sides. The stars twinkled bright above them. They weren’t this beautiful from Daibazaal. _

_ Perhaps they were but he enjoyed it more with his best and sweetest friend. _

_ “Truly magnificent,” he commented. _

_ He saw her shifting as she looked up at the stars. He snuck a peak, the stars reflecting in her eye and he could’ve sworn for a tick that had forgotten how to breathe. _

_ “You know why I also like that story?” she asked. _

_ Lotor shook his head, “Why?” _

_ “Because when they ran off, they went to explore the stars together. They spent a lifetime in the stars and when their natural lives ended, they became one with the stars. That’s a dream of mine…” _

_ His eyes widened, “Really?” _

_ Allura nodded, “Yes. I want it more than anything…” _

_ A moment of silence as Lotor took in the scenery once more. _

_ “I always wished that I wasn’t a prince. I wanted to be an explorer. I wanted to see the stars as well.” _

_ He felt Allura’s gaze shift to him, “You too?” _

_ “Yes. And one day, I hope to make it a reality,” he affirmed. _

_ She moved closer till the space between them was no more. _

_ “We could one day. Just you and me,” she suggested. _

_ His answer was to smile sadly. _

_ “We are both to sit on thrones. We’ll be stuck on our own worlds. But I plan to make it an age of exploration if I have my way.” _

_ She didn’t seem deterred. _

_ “We can do it together. We can bring in an age of peace and exploration. The time of troubles between our planets will be forgotten and our people will flourish. Together. We can see the stars too. We can do it all. And I want you at my side.” _

_ That made him so happy. He was grinning so much that his face hurt. Maybe she didn’t realize what that meant to him, but he did. _

_ They shared a dream. And they both wanted to be together in order to make it a reality. _

_ “Then it will be,” he declared. “The Golden Age of Exploration and Peace will be brought about by Queen Allura of Altea and Emperor Lotor of Daibazaal. I speak it into existence.” _

_ She was beaming. She got as close to him as she physically could and leaned in so that her read rested upon his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her. He took in her scent. There was no other scent so comforting in the whole universe. _

_ “Together forever?” she asked. _

_ “Forever,” he affirmed. “And even long after that...” _

* * *

How he wished he could see those same stars now. 

For the first time in millennia, he opened the windows of his private quarters and the starlight streamed in. They were different stars now. 

How fitting. 

He hadn’t opened the blinds in centuries, perhaps millennia. He didn’t dare look at the stars when he was alone. But now...now he could. 

So this is what it felt like to be able to breathe again. To be able to hope for something just for himself. For a future just for himself. His eyes had not left the necklace, now glowing as bright as the stars and galaxies in his view. He could remember the day he’d given it to her, it had glowed just the same. The sheer brightness of her life force and of his love. He had tucked away his own somewhere. Perhaps he could bring it out now. 

He wondered what her view was now. Was she sleeping? Was she looking at these very stars now? Where was she? 

The universe was rarely so kind but her being alive and him knowing that it was possible to run to and scoop her up in his arms again was more than any kindness he could’ve asked for. It was a sentimental thought that only Dayak seemed to understand but the thought made him tear up. He probably cried. He had dared not think about holding her or seeing her again after the last time he was given false hope. And finally, he could let it out. 

He missed her terribly. Even now, he’d unconsciously reach for her like a missing limb. There were so many dreams he had to give up. Most of all were the ones he’d wanted most. Since he was a boy, all he had wanted was to be by her side. To rule by her side and to explore the stars with her at his side. He had promised her that night. A life without her had become a terrible necessity, but it was tiring. 

He was tired of merely surviving, he had the luxury of admitting that. He wanted to live. He wanted to feel alive again, not feel like a living corpse whose heart had crumbled to dust millennia ago. And with the necklace, it was like his heart was beating once more. He wondered if hers was beating as fast as his. It always had… 

He could admit much now. Dayak had been correct, he had been scared to explore the possibility that she might be alive. Just thinking that she could still be out there had been too much for him. 

But Dayak knew him, she knew him so well. Better than his own mother had even cared to. She knew that he needed to admit these things to himself, because it was the only way he could move forward. There was much to be done, even out here. 

And the return of Voltron could potentially mark the downfall of Zarkon. And after that… 

He pursed his lips. Ah yes, there was that. A thought that had seemed to be next to unthinkable and impossible seemed to be most likely now. 

And if Allura was commanding them, then… 

He really couldn’t wait for the morning cycle to come. He had to push for alliances now more than ever. So when the time came, Zarkon would have nowhere left to hide. 

Despite his life’s work being dedicated to protecting the universe. That is, whatever was left that wasn’t conquered or desecrated by his father. The thought of bringing him down had been a distant dream. One he’d been working towards. 

Yet he always felt a sense of failure, because it had been millennia. He was as far away from the throne as he could be, perhaps by his own folly. He had sworn to himself, to her, to all of the people of the cultures destroyed by Zarkon that he would avenge them. That he would end this reign of terror. And...well...

It was difficult on the fringes, but he was trying. 

He had brought a chair so he could gaze out at the stars. It was reminiscent of that night. And he could smile about it again. And finally, he could look down at the picture of their wedding day and feel that tingle again.

It had been a secret affair, all very hush hush. They hadn’t had time. He was meant to leave Altea. And eloping was all that they could do. 

_ “I’m sorry it’s not the large wedding you deserve, my princess. When all has settled down, I will give you the wedding of your dreams. I swear to you this.” _

He could still see that sweet smile when he closed his eyes. And her warm hand as she cupped his cheek. 

_ “My Prince, all I care for is that it’s you that I marry. That it is you that is by my side when all is said and done…” _

His heart practically swelled every time he heard those words. For centuries, his oath had haunted him. Most of his oaths had haunted him because he’d broken every single one. Or so he’d thought. Perhaps not…

She was so happy, so beautiful… 

So hopeful. 

That was the face of the bride he kept in his mind’s eye whenever he thought of her. 

Truth be told, he had started to believe that maybe the tale of the two star crossed voyagers would be his own. The story was panning out that way. He longed to join her in the stars, in which case. 

It seemed his thoughts were going around in circles. It usually did when it came to Allura. It was between happiness, melancholy, and grief. There was anxiety too because after all these years… 

He had always promised to come back. Only, when he did, there was nothing but debris and fire. There wasn’t even anything left for a Weblum. It was just gone. He didn’t know if that was unintentional cruel irony on Zarkon’s part. He didn’t want to. He didn’t like thinking about it. 

_ “Be grateful that I didn’t make you watch…” _

He clutched the arms of his chair, his claws digging right into them. For so long, he wasn’t. Because as childish as it was, he liked to believe that if he’d been there, it wouldn’t have happened. Or he would’ve killed Zarkon himself. Or, as his mind went dark, Zarkon could’ve killed him. So he could be with her again. 

Now? Now he was grateful. Because she was still here. He didn’t have to keep the fires of Altea burning alone anymore. They could do it, together. In a twisted way, he could keep the vow he’d made as a 5 year old. 

But he had to find her first. 

The night had been quiet and dark, the only light illuminating was that from the stars. So it was jarring when he heard the door open and the hallway light streamed in. He could tell from the silhouette that it was Acxa. 

“Acxa,” he sounded so weary and tired. 

It was rare to find her voice so gentle and low, “You should be resting…” 

A wry smile, “All I have been doing for quintants is resting. I’m ready to be active again. There is so much to be done.” 

Perhaps she noticed because he certainly did. There was a renewed vigor in his voice. Before, he supposed, he sounded like someone who was worn out but determined to fight till the bloody end. Someone whose hopes were slowly eroding but he just pushed on because he had to. People relied on him and he had to do right by all the lives lost because of his father. But without Allura, it was as if carrying on with a broken heart which bled every so often. It was like feeling a void where half of his soul should be. It was out of love and duty that he did everything. But if he’d let his emotions sway him

“I understand…” was the only response he got. 

He leaned back in his chair, “Please pull up the extra chair. Sit with me a little while.” 

He could practically see her tense up a bit. He supposed that he wasn’t so surprised. He could’ve been kinder to them. They trusted him, followed him into battle, and even tolerated all that he had pulled recently. Truly, he was grateful. 

“I insist, you must be tired…” he said.

And still, Acxa did as he asked. She pulled up a chair and sat down on it. She didn’t say anything but he could see that her eyes lingered momentarily on the picture. He'd never shown anyone the picture of his and Allura’s wedding day. She didn’t ask, he knew she wouldn’t.

But he knew she was curious. She just kept it all to herself. 

“That’s...Allura…” he began. 

Obviously. She looked down at it. He had to say, he could never quite gauge Acxa’s thoughts, she was stoic. But she was loyal and he didn’t think his trust in her was ever misplaced. 

“She’s lovely, sir,” was her response. Her tone was even. Whatever she felt, she didn’t betray it. 

He sighed, “I went so long believing that she was dead. I couldn’t entertain the possibility that she was alive. Hope is important but I couldn’t bear to see it all crumble again. It was as if I was being hit with my mistakes over and over again…” 

“Mistakes?” she asked before closing her mouth. “Forgive me, that was out of turn-” 

Lotor shook his head, “No, it wasn’t. You can speak freely around me. You all can.”

She didn’t seem so sure. She had turned her attention to the stars and seemed to be lost in her thoughts. 

“If you wish to say something, just say it,” he tried. He genuinely felt terrible. In all this, he had ignored his generals. His own anguish and anxiety had been at the forefront of his mind. He hadn’t even considered how his erratic behavior had been affecting them. If it hadn’t been for Dayak, who knows how much further he would have taken it. 

Her eyes shifted to her hands, which were in her lap. He looked at her, even then he couldn’t really guess what she was thinking. He supposed that he’d caught her off guard. 

“I suppose,” she began. “I suppose we always knew there was something more to your goals and motives. Ezor and Zethrid had their theories and I suppose some of them were correct. I never wanted to pry. I assume Narti knows some things. If you wanted to, you could always tell us. But you had a goal and a mission that we all believed in. And we followed you for that reason, regardless of what skeletons are in your closet and what demons are in your past.” 

He was touched and he did find himself smiling. Acxa never said much beyond what she was asked to do. She was so focused on her duty and her mission. He realized he didn’t really know his general well. 

“You’ve told me once before but I cannot help feeling there’s more. You chose to help an emperor’s exiled, disgraced half-breed of a brat. Even though you knew results would be slow and there would probably be setback after setback. But still, you stay…” 

Acxa crossed her arms. She still didn’t look at him. 

“I came from nothing. I never knew my father and my mother was not a Galra. I have vague memories of her but she was taken to the pits. I never saw her again. That was my life, to fight for the amusement of the Galra. If we lived or died, it didn’t matter. And things only got worse and worse. When I wasn’t fighting, I could see the suffering. I heard the stories of what was happening outside of my bloody world. I was angry. And during one of those death matches, I met you…” 

He remembered that day. It was long ago, shortly before he was exiled. He’d met all of his generals that day. There was something about them all. Their pain and anger were similar yet different from his own. Even Ezor and Zethrid had their own designs, but their goals aligned. Their half-breed status had made them second-class citizens in the Empire. Inequality, corruption, oppression, genocide. None of them could stomach that no matter how much of a taste for battle some of them may have developed. That was battle. Innocent lives were something completely different to them. They wanted peace in their own way. And they all had that unique fire. And after his exile, they followed him into the fringes of the universe. 

“I’d heard things but when you talked to me, I didn’t expect you to treat me any better than the rest of them. You had a vision but you also had that look in your eyes. The look of anger, of hurt, of desire to do better. You weren’t trying to be a savior. You genuinely wanted better for the Empire and for the universe. That’s why I chose to follow you. That’s why Ezor, Zethrid, Narti, and I chose to follow you. We believe in your cause and we will do everything in our power to see it though…”

He didn’t say anything at first, didn’t even smile. It was touching. They were the most loyal generals. He would even call them friends as through his exile, they stood by him. He didn’t like to think he was weak, but their support was everything in those times. Allura was gone, he’d thought. He’d gained 4 loyal confidants. 

“I…” he began and paused for a moment. He really had to think about what to say. Trust didn’t come easy to him and the only person he’d ever trusted fully was Allura. 

“I had dreams of my own. I grew up mostly on Altea. I had dreams of Daibazaal and Altea coming together as one. I wanted Princess Allura to be by my side as it all happened. I wanted to explore the stars with her. I wanted to usher in a new era of peace…” he trailed on. 

There was more that he wanted. He had kept his promise in marrying her. But he’d wanted a family as well. Dayak had, at times, pushed him to try for a second marriage. He’d refused. When he’d thought his bride had been reduced to nothing, he set aside those dreams as well. It would be Allura or it would be no one. He had thought about it, but ultimately giving Allura’s place to anyone else was unthinkable. A family born out of love, that’s what he’d wanted. With the way succession worked in the Empire, it was a luxury afforded to him.

Now. Now it seemed to be possible again. 

But one step at a time. 

“What was she like?” Acxa asked quietly. She’d turned to look at him now. There was a change in her expression. Something softer. Sympathy perhaps. 

He could only smile fondly, though. For years, what had occurred was a source of his deepest sorrow but thinking of her was still the source of comfort. 

“She was...wonderful. After Dayak, she was the one to accept me as I was. But she was soft and kind. She was sweet and included me in everything. She liked being around me and I liked being around her. She knew exactly how to comfort me and make me feel as though I could do anything. Our dreams were the same. And this was second to everything else but she was the most beautiful thing in all of existence. And she chose me to be at her side. I wanted to be with her forever…” 

“You mean...she is wonderful…” Acxa gently corrected. 

Ah, yes. Present tense. That would take some getting used to. But he preferred that to thinking she was dead. 

And even then, there was the thought that crossed his mind. Did she know that he was still alive? And if she did, had she tried to look for him? 

“Yes. She is. She always has been. Always will be…” 

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. 

“Acxa?” 

“Yes, sir?” 

“Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for everything. To all of you. I couldn’t have achieved what I have without your support.” 

She smiled and nodded, “We swore to you that we would be here no matter what. Through whatever you needed.” 

He smiled. 

“And Princess Allura, we will find her too. It is decided…” 

If he could at that moment, he would’ve teared up. For all he had lost, for all that the universe had taken from him, they gave much in return. 

And now, they had granted him the greatest of kindness. His love and a fighting chance for the future. And his generals, his friends, would be there to make sure it happened. 

“Thank you…” he whispered again. 

He said nothing as the two of them continued to look out at the stars together...

\--- 

_ He opened his eyes. He was no longer in his room. Around him were the fields in the mountains of Altea, not the glowing lights of distant galaxies and stars. He looked around frantically. No. What was going on? _

_ “Wha-” he gasped when he saw her. Her back was turned to him but her long, white curls were swaying in the breeze. _

_ “...Lu?” he sounded like a little boy again. Like a lost yelmore pup trying to find its home again. He couldn’t breathe, there she was. _

_ But she didn’t turn around. _

_ “My love. Is it you?” he asked. _

_ Again, she responded with her silence. _

_ “Lu. Will you not talk to me? Will you not face me?” he was begging. He’d hardly ever begged or pleaded for anything. But for her. With her, everything was different. The long millennia had not changed that. _

_ And slowly she did. His relief only lasted a brief moment when he could see her sad, tear-stained face. Her eyes were bloodshot. And her eyes were well up, tears continuing to cascade down her cheeks like two endless waterfalls. _

_ It was devastating. _

_ “Lu…?” he asked. His devastation was apparently to him and his own tears began to well. _

_ “You promised you would come back…” was her haunted whisper. _

_ Devastating, indeed. _

_ “I tried to, Lu! They kept me away!” he pleaded. “Please! If I’d known, I wouldn’t have-” _

_ But it was not like she was hearing him, “You left me. You promised me. Vowed to be by my side always. But you left and you never came back…” _

_ “Lu, please…” was his heartbroken whisper. _

_ “You promised me forever…” her face was stoic but her sadness was so apparent. _

_ “I still do!” he begged. _

_ “You said you loved me…” _

_ “I do! I always have! I always will!” _

_ “You left me. You swore to me you’d return. You left me and never came back. I waited and waited for you...” she repeated. _

_ “Please,” he was begging, dropping to his knees. “Please forgive me! Please…” _

_ “I’m still waiting for you...” she said, finally her beautiful face showed emotion. “I am always waiting for you…” _

_ It was such a switch from what she had said before. She was alone. She was sad. She was hurt but she still waited. _

_ “I will come for you, I swear!” _

_ “Lotor…” _

_ “I won’t leave you again when I see you. They’ll have to kill me first…” _

_ “Lotor…” she repeated a second time. He looked up and she was moving away. _

_ “Don’t leave me!” he whispered, terrified. “Not again, Lu. Don’t leave me!” _

_ “Lotor…” she held her hand out and he was running like a madman desperately trying to grab it. But she kept getting further away. _

_ “Lotor…” she whispered as she disappeared out of sight. He could only scream in anguish, having broken an oath again. But he heard one last comment. _

_ “I’ll be waiting, Lotor. I always am…” _

_ “LU!” _

\---

He could feel two slender but strong hands shaking him. He stirred, groaning… 

“Lu…” he mumbled. 

“Sir,” it was Acxa. 

He slowly opened his eyes. His muscles felt a little stiff, he supposed that it was due to sleeping while sitting in a chair. Of course he’d fallen asleep there… 

His eyes came into focus and looked up at Acxa, who was giving him a look of concern. Wonderful, he was doing it again. 

“What time is it?” he asked. 

“It’s the morning cycle, sir. Everyone awaits you on the bridge,” she responded. 

He nodded, stretching. His muscles were definitely stiff alright. Perhaps a warm bath and better rest would fix it though resting was the last thing that he could think of. 

It didn’t take long at all for him to get dressed. Acxa was waiting outside for him when he walked out of his quarters, fully dressed in his armor. It felt nice to be in it again. 

“Shall we then?” 

The hallway was long but he wasn’t really paying attention. All throughout the walk and ride down the elevator, he was silent. He couldn’t get that dream out of his head. Dreams were just a projection of his mental state. But he’d never had one like this and something in his gut told him that it wasn’t just an ordinary dream brought on by his own guilty conscience. It was as if Allura had been reaching out to him, desperate to find him again. 

Whatever it was, it was making him anxious again. He had to find her. Sitting and thinking of his next move wasn’t an option anymore, it was a priority now. He was going to find her and soon. And just based on that dream...was she waiting for him? No, it wasn’t in her nature to sit idly by.

_ “Is that it? Are you trying to find me too, Lu?” _

“Sir, are you alright?” Acxa asked. 

“I’ll be fine,” he was back to being short again. But she didn’t press. He did feel bad but until he could articulate his feelings on this, it was better off not being said. And it wasn’t a lie. He would be fine. He would be fine very soon, if he stayed in the universe’s good graces long enough.

The elevator doors opened to the bridge and everyone was standing waiting. Zethrid and Ezor were sitting in their positions. Dayak stood in front of them. Narti stood close by with Kova, her head turned towards them and Kova watched him as well. 

“Rest well?” Dayak asked, although she could see the tired look on his face. Unfortunately not that night. 

“I...fell asleep on a chair…” he confessed. 

“A chair?” 

“Yes I was looking out at the stars. It matters very little,” he waved her off irritably. “I’ve done nothing but rest. I must get back to it.”

She seemed pleased with the answer. He secretly hoped so. In a way, it was like trying to please his mother. He felt the fire within him reignite and it was really due to her. 

“Good to have you back, sir,” Zethrid said, unusually formal. 

“Yup, we missed having you around,” Ezor chimed in, in her usual manner. 

“Thank you, now what news? Any recent developments? On anything? What of Voltron? What news on them?” he asked. 

“Well,” Zethrid turned to her screen. “There’s-” 

The sound of beeping cut her off and caught nearly everyone off guard. They looked up at the screen before him. 

“What’s...that?” Ezor asked. 

“I’ve never seen that before…” Zethrid mumbled. 

But Lotor stayed silent, his eyes going wide at what he was seeing. 

The universe was just full of surprises wasn’t it? 

_ Oh Ancients… _

“It can’t be…” 

Everyone turned their attention to him. He was sure his surprise and shock was painted all over his face but he didn’t care. He didn’t care one bit. 

“Sir?” it was Zethrid, he was sure of it. 

Dayak looked at him. She knew but she would let him say it. He looked at her. Her surprise was not as apparent but then again, much didn’t surprise her anymore. Considering the recent developments… 

He swallowed and took in a deep breath and tried to relax. It was like seeing a ghost, truly. 

“It’s...an Altean distress code…”


	6. All Is Not Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who reviewed and left kudos last time. It's all of you who have kept me going! Alright so! 
> 
> 1) A little more world-building in this chapter and there's a whole new plot point introduced in this chapter!  
2) I'm really sorry for any and all spelling and grammatical errors in this chapter. My computer is being weird and I've edited as much as I could but alas my touchpad is acting up. So I couldn't thouroughly edit as I usually do. Please excuse those just this once. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! 💜💖

_ “Oh? Who’s this?” _

_ Allura seemed transfixed with the creature that was gathered up in Lotor’s arms. _

_ Its eyes were fixed on her, observing her. _

_ “This is Kova. My cat,” Lotor answered. “I thought you might like him, Lu. He may look a little mean but he’s a good kitten.” _

_ The way he ran towards his governess when he saw the old cat in her arms, he hadn’t been so delighted in so long. Kova had been his only friend, his one companion before Altea. _

_ “I don’t think he looks mean at all,” Allura walked up carefully, smiling gently at the creature. She held out her hand and Kova stretched his neck out to sniff her hand. There was a tense few ticks before Kova nuzzled into her hand. _

_ And there was a collective sigh of relief. _

_ She looked excited but made no sudden movements. _

_ “He likes you,” Lotor commented. There was probably a huge grin on his face. He hadn’t really thought about the possibility that Allura and Kova may not have ever gotten along. How could such a thought cross his mind? _

_ Who wouldn’t love her? She was kind, gentle, and sweet. There was no meanness or cruelty in her. And Kova knew it too. _

_ His cat knew him well. _

_ “I like him too,” she carefully pet his back. And he let out a purr. “But. He’s an Altean cat, is he not?” _

_ Lotor nodded, “He was my mother’s. I took him.” _

_ Allura let out a small but cute giggle, “I see. She obviously doesn’t seem to mind. She probably knows he’s in good hands with you.” _

_ He tried not to make a face. His mother didn’t really care for much aside from her experiments. Of course she didn’t mind. She’d experimented on Kova even, he was almost sure of it. It wasn’t like Kova could talk to confirm anything. _

_ “Lotor, I’m sorry did I say something?” she asked, breaking him out of the unhappy thoughts. _

_ His smile returned, “No, not at all. I make that face when I’m thinking. Honestly, I don’t know what mother thinks. She just let me have him, so she doesn’t mind. She’s too busy to spend time with him anyway.” _

_ If she wanted to ask anything, she probably decided not to. Or she was distracted by the purrs by the happy cat. Either way, he was happy she didn’t ask anything else. It was sore for him and the last thing he wanted was to take out his sadness on her. He never wanted to make her sad. _

_ “Does he like playing games?” she asked. _

_ Lotor thought for a moment, “He likes playing with balls. I have a small one back at home. Just roll it around with him for a bit and he’s a happy cat.” _

_ “Hmm a small ball? I may have one...at the big castle,” she pouted, remembering that she didn’t really carry her toys around with her. _

_ Lotor thought again, “He likes it when I read to him. I assume he does because he looks at the pages with me.” _

_ Allura’s ears twitched, “You read to him?” _

_ Lotor nodded, “Anything I find, I read to him. He seems to like it.” _

_ Allura cracked a smile, “Hmm, there are plenty of books here. Does he like fairy tales?” _

_ “Anything I find,” Lotor repeated. He watched her as she seemed lost in thought. What was she thinking? Allura’s emotions were always written clear as day on her face. Her thoughts on the other hand... _

_ “Wait here!” she instructed, standing up. He blinked for a moment as she walked swiftly around them. Before she disappeared out the door, she poked her head back in. _

_ “I know what we can read to him!” she happily declared before disappearing. _

_ Lotor blinked a few times before he turned back to give his cat some attention. _

_ “Isn’t she wonderful?” he sighed, happily. _

_ Kova stared at him. _

_ “She’s everything. She’s nice, gentle, and pretty.” _

_ He couldn’t help but feel his cheeks heat up whenever he thought of how pretty she was. Kova made a noise, as if knowing what he was saying. _

_ Sounded like he was teasing him a little bit. _

_ And the little boy pouted, “You’ll see what I mean. She’s my best friend like you are. I’m happy here and I think you’ll be happy here, won’t you be?” _

_ He didn’t answer, he just continued to stare up at Lotor, his tail moving back and forth. _

_ “She definitely likes you already. Did you see how happy she was?” _

_ He pet the old cat, earning him a purr of delight. _

_ He’d hold off on confiding the vow that he made to Dayak a short time ago. He hadn’t thought much about it, but he still meant it. Every day, Allura proved to be even more wonderful. She didn’t have to do much. She just had to be happy to see him. And she always was. Every moment was spent together. It was out of a dream and he wanted to be in it forever. He already promised her that they would always be together. And now, right here, he had everything he could ever want. _

_ Another happy sigh left him. _

_ Kova nuzzled his hand, demanding attention. He quietly laughed. Kova had very obviously missed him too. Lotor was almost certain that he wasn’t getting any attention back on Daibazaal aside from having basic necessities met. No one really understood how affectionate Kova could be. Only Lotor did. Maybe his mother knew, but it wasn’t like she cared enough to tell him. _

_ “I missed you too,” he mumbled. _

_ He quietly went on petting Kova and was quietly soothed by the sound of his purrs. _

_ That was until he heard the pitter patter of eager little footsteps coming closer. Both turned and watched as Allura appeared in the doorway, carrying a book that was twice as big as she was. _

_ Lotor blinked, “What’s this?” _

_ He knew Alteans had some insane strength, but how she could run with a book so big. But still he looked at her in awe. _

_ “This,” she said, “Is another story that I love.” _

_ What story didn’t she love, he thought to himself. _

_ There was a big, comfortable chair in the corner of the room. It was big enough for the two of them to sit. Well, the two of them plus a cat. _

_ They settled on the chair. It was a bit of squeeze but Lotor was perfectly content being close to both of them. _

_ “Which story is this?” Lotor asked, not familiar with the title. _

_ “Ah this is the story of Lotarious, the Great Altean Explorer and Engineer. He was also the first Altean King of our line,” she explained. Lotor looked at the cover of the story. It was a picture of a tall Altean in a suit of armor that was similar to Alfor’s. But his hair was much longer. It was a painting but still. He looked strong, brave, and powerful. Lotor was entranced. _

_ “Kova likes stories about great explorers. Those are his favorite,” he said, petting him as he now stood on his shoulder. He looked at the cover intently. His cat understood him well. He seemed to enjoy the same things that he did, _

_ Allura shined him the most dazzling smile, “If you don’t mind, I would like to try to read it by myself?” _

_ Lotor grabbed her hand, “You don’t have to ask me for permission, Lula. I would love to be read to.” _

_ She beamed at that. So much so that the pink marks on her cheeks seemed to glow a little. Was he imagining that? _

_ She began reading. There was a bit of pride as she read the lines without fumbling much. He loved seeing it, she also looked pleased with herself. He stared at her, he knew he was smiling. _

_ The tale was one he had never heard before. He knew the recent history of the Altean Royal family, but the tale of Lotarious was new. It was a tale that stretched back thousands of years. At a time when Altea was divided into several smaller, warring kingdoms across the planet. Lotarious was a legendary figure in Altean History, he had sailed the stars and was beloved by any and all who knew him. _

_ He was a passionate student and with him, he brought back the knowledge of other planets and stories of his adventures. Being an engineer and innovator, he built much of the infrastructure that was now famous across the universe. During his travels, he realized that Altea itself could only be powerful and accomplish if the planet united under one banner. Altea had faced many threats for several centuries as well, another reason for setting out for the stars. It was a desperate need to learn what the Great Civilizations of Old had done to protect what was most precious. _

_ The tale of Lotarious, this particular one, was also for children. It was obvious how different their respective upbringings were. But he quite enjoyed this particular story. There were parts that were fun for him, such as the exploration of the stars and the different people he met. And the knowledge that he took from it. It was the dream he had for himself. _

_ The stories he had read on Daibazaal were so much more different. The tales of conquests and the successes of their people were all that Galra children were told. The tale that so intrigued him, though, was the tale of Kaltor the Great. The First Galra Emperor, known as The Great Conqueror. Kaltor’s private diaries were hidden deep in the archives in the capital, possibly because the image of the great “conqueror” would be tarnished. He was nothing like the tales had weaved. Lotor had found them accidentally shortly before he’d left for Altea. _

_ In the days before the Empire, Daibazaal was under frequent attack. It was hard to imagine a time when they were merely a backwater. And through his might, Kaltor overcame and crushed their enemies one by one. He had conquered the many warring tribes on Daibazaal and brought them under one banner to fight a common enemy. And he was revered as a savior, perhaps a god amongst Galra. But he didn’t crave such things. For he, too, fared the stars. He was Lotor’s ancestor and the stories seldom mentioned his skills in diplomacy and thirst for learning. He was painted as a ruthless conqueror who had crushed his enemies. He had conquered the enemy and sent them packing, but he did not wish to be seen as a bloodthirsty warrior. _

_ As Allura read on, Lotor could see how similar both of these tales were. Both wanted to keep their planets secure, nothing more. Altea and Daibazaal were secure because of two men who’d risen to the occasion. Both were defenders of everything they held dear. _

_ He could see why Allura adored the story. She was enchanted with the stars and she wanted to explore them one day. _

_ He had promised her that they would, together, when they were bigger. _

_ He hadn’t realized it but they had huddled so close that Kova jumped onto their lap, snuggling between them and looking curiously at the pictures in front of him. The tale was for him after all. _

_ When Allura finished reading a sentence, Lotor cut in. _

_ “When we bring in Our Age of Exploration, we shall bring Kova with us. I think he’ll enjoy it…” _

_ Allura nodded, “I was thinking just the same thing.” _

_ She went on and Lotor once again got lost in the tales of old… _

_ \--- _

_ Lotor could feel a gentle hand trying to shake him. He groaned with irritation, no let him rest a little longer. Somehow it was the best sleep of his life. He wanted to return to it. He wanted to continue to frolic through the juniberries with Allura a little longer. He didn’t want to come back to reality just yet. _

_ He felt something warm beside him. That was odd. He didn’t sleep with any stuffed toys or anything of the sort. _

_ He mumbled something, “Not yet…” _

_ “Prince Lotor, Prince Lotor…” a gentle whisper called out. _

_ It was a male voice, quiet but upbeat. _

_ Coran…? _

_ “5 more doboshes Coran…” he mumbled. _

_ “Afraid not, son. The queen is requesting you and the princess…” _

_ He was about to say something but then Coran said something else that made his heart almost stop. _

_ “Allura, Allura wake up…” _

_ Lotor’s eyes flew open and he jumped off of the chair, waking Kova as well. Had they fallen asleep while sitting on the chair? Oh no, no, no… _

_ Coran looked like he was holding back a laugh and Lotor felt his cheeks heat up. He failed to see what was so funny? What would King Alfor say? Or Queen Melenor? Or...Dayak? _

_ His eyes widened in horror as he thought of that last one. Dayak wouldn’t tell his father, surely she wouldn’t. But she would work him hard as punishment. It was improper, she would say, for a prince and princess to be in the same room at night. He didn’t understand why, but he was told that he would understand why when he was older. _

_ Allura stirred gently as Coran gently shook her shoulder. Lotor couldn’t help but stare as she opened her eyes. Even as she woke, she was graceful. A queen in the making. _

_ “Coran?” she questioned, her brows were furrowed with confusion. Then she looked around at her surroundings and then her eyes fell on him. _

_ He probably looked as scared as he felt because she didn’t even need to ask what he was doing there. She knew immediately what had happened. She more or less had the same reaction as him. _

_ And Coran couldn’t help himself, he let out a small laugh. Both of them looked so silly, he just knew it. _

_ “Please don’t tell Father or Mother,” she pleaded, sounding close to tears. How he longed to comfort her. _

_ Coran stopped laughing long enough to straighten up. _

_ “Don’t worry, Princess. Your secret's safe with me. But you two better get going, Queen Melenor is waiting…” _

_ The two of them were led to breakfast by Coran. He seemed to act like there was nothing wrong whatsoever. But to Lotor, it felt like the walk of shame. He felt like everyone was staring at him and Allura and she looked equally as embarrassed. Were the servants staring or were they just showing their respect? _

_ He hated the feeling of anxiety. Allura looked at him and there was a look he didn’t recognize. Their hands brushed against each other, but either did not dare grab on. Coran did peek behind him. _

_ “Don’t worry, if I could tell you how many times the King or Queen were caught doing the same thing, you would instantly forget how embarrassing this is. Worry not, young ones, Alfor and Melenor were worse…” _

_ Lotor’s cheeks were burning at yet another comparison to King Alfor and Queen Melenor… _

_ \--- _

_ The Queen was waiting for them, but Alfor’s lack of attendance was noticeable. Allura gracefully dropped into a curtsy. Lotor in turn bowed at the waist as he had been taught. _

_ “Come, come, none of that!” Melenor said. “The food is getting cold.” _

_ The Queen had the most cheerful look on her face. Sometimes Lotor forgot how to breathe when he was around her. It was impossible not to see that Allura’s beauty had come from her mother. As did her gentle, kind nature. And Allura idealized her mother, she longed to be a queen as beloved as Melenor. _

_ But it was rare that they got to see each other. She was a healer and the leader of relief efforts all over the planet and the universe. She was a busy woman but she tried to make time whenever she could. _

_ “You’re up later than usual,” Queen Melenor commented, taking a sip of her tea. _

_ Both looked embarrassed yet again. _

_ “We were up late reading...the tale of Lotarious,” Allura answered, her head slightly hung downwards. _

_ The queen smiled, “Ah it’s alright. It’s a wonderful tale, I cannot blame you for that.” _

_ The two settled in their seats and Lotor’s eyes widened at the plate in front of him. He had only heard about this from Allura but to see it… _

_ “Juniberry tarts!” Allura squealed out. _

_ Lotor had never had any. They had not been in season and Dayak was strict about sweets. _

_ “They will make you sluggish and heavy…” she’d said. _

_ Allura jovially dug into hers and whatever fiasco had taken place this morning seemed to be long forgotten. Lotor took a small nibble and he nearly fell out of his chair when the sweetness of the berries hit his tongue at full force. _

_ Stars, what was this magic he had bitten into? Now he understood what Allura had told him about. Juniberries didn’t just smell heavenly. _

_ The taste had him ascending to the heavens. _

_ He heard a giggle coming from both the Queen and Allura. How many times would his cheeks burn today? _

_ “I told you! I told you there was nothing like it in the universe,” Allura said, cheerfully. _

_ He mumbled out, “I never doubted you, Lula…” _

_ He took another bite. Dayak wasn’t here and he could enjoy and indulge himself. He would pay for it later. _

_ “Go on, Little Prince,” Melenor said. “Have as many as you’d like. Today is a holiday for all three of us. Eat to your heart’s desire!” _

_ That was news to him? _

_ “Forgive me, but a holiday?” _

_ Melenor nodded, “I have nothing on the schedule today so I thought I would spend the day with my girl and you as well. I thought perhaps we could go visit the seaside village today. Our summer is about to end and after today, we will start preparing for Allura’s day of birth. If you’re wondering where Dayak is, I have set her to a task. I’ve told her that for you to be at your best, you must take some rest.” _

_ Lotor choked on his bite. Her day of birth? It was coming up? And he didn’t even know? _

_ “Lula, your day of birth?” he asked in a voice that would put his ancestors to shame. _

_ Allura flushed, “Ah, yes. That...I’m afraid I forgot…” _

_ Melenor’s brows were raised at this, “Forgot? You always remember your day of birth, little one. It’s the second most looked forward to day of the deca-phoebe for you.” _

_ The flush only deepened and Lotor looked ashamed. He didn’t know. He hadn’t even asked when such an important day was. And now it was mere movements away and he wouldn’t have time to get her something special. _

_ “I think my last birthday’s wish came true, though,” she added. _

_ Lotor could’ve sworn her eyes flickered to him for the briefest tick... _

_ \--- _

_ Transport was a bit primitive but Queen Melenor liked to travel that way. Instead of using something that flew, they used a vehicle with wheels. Such means of transportation had not been used in millennia. _

_ The villagers and the lower class used such means. Lotor didn’t mind but Kova certainly wasn’t enjoying himself. He was running around, trying to find the nearest exit. Lotor had to grab him and hold him close. _

_ “Poor kitty,” Allura cooed. “What’s wrong?” _

_ “He doesn’t like how bumpy it is,” Lotor responded, trying in vain to comfort the distressed cat. _

_ The queen smiled, “May I?” _

_ Lotor gently handed the still panicked feline to Melenor. He wasn’t sure what it was about Queen Melenor, but her presence alone was one that soothed all those around. _

_ Lotor observed her as she gently calmed Kova and he began to purr like the motor of the vehicle. _

_ “That’s a good kitty, you haven’t changed at all a bit…” _

_ That caught Lotor’s attention, “You know Kova?” _

_ Melenor nodded, “Why yes, my dear. He was Honerva’s cat before you came along. He didn’t like bumpy rides back then either. So long as you stroke his back softly will he calm down.” _

_ It was a strange thing with Lotor. Kova was always such a calm cat and he kept Lotor calm in times of great distress. But when it came to fast moving vehicles with bumps, he panicked. Then it was Lotor’s turn to try and sooth him, but he never could. _

_ Allura, meanwhile, marveled at her mother’s actions. She reached over to stroke Kova’s head. _

_ “It’s alright Kova, I don’t much like it either. It’s scary I know,” she cooed as he nuzzled her face. _

_ Lotor could only smile as he watched the scene. The two most precious things in his life getting along so well. It warmed his little heart. _

_ “So, you told Lotor the story of Lotarious, did you?” Melenor asked. _

_ Allura nodded, “We wanted to read it to Kova, we thought he might like it.” _

_ Melenor let out a small chuckle and Lotor wasn’t sure what was so funny about it but he elected to not say anything. _

_ “Oh little one, he knows this story well. Every night before bed, Honerva would read the story to herself. She so admired his engineering capabilities. Lotor here is named in part for him.” _

_ Lotor’s eyes went wide at this revelation. No one had ever told him. His own mother hadn’t said anything to him ever. But of course. LOTarious. _

_ “My mother?” he asked. _

_ “Yes,” she answered, smiling at the little boy. “It is her favorite. Kova had to hear the story so much. I began to feel bad for the poor thing. But he seems to not mind.” _

_ Lotor looked at his old cat and reached out to pet him. He was most responsive to Lotor’s touch and it gave him great comfort. _

_ “Lotarious was our planet’s great defender. He united our planet, strengthened us as a people. He didn’t have to, but he did it all the same. He saw the bigger picture, that is why we are here now. Everything we have accomplished, it was made possible by Lotarious...” _

_ He’d heard it just the night before but he was at peace hearing it again. _

_ “He lit the flame and it is our duty to keep it burning,” Allura recited proudly. _

_ “Yes, exactly…” _

_ The conversation went quiet and Lotor’s little head was filled with the information. Somehow, it stuck him in a way. His mother must’ve expected great things of him, why else would she name him one of the greatest who’d ever lived? Perhaps, perhaps there was something in her coldness after all… _

_ Lotor turned to look out the window. And his thoughts drifted to the scenery once more. The Altean seaside was magnificent and he sat on the side that faced the sea. The ocean was calm today, he could practically smell the salt. Daibazaal didn’t have any oceans, just small little seas. Most of the planet was covered in deserts covered in red sand. It was a different sort of beauty than that of Altea, that was for sure. _

_ Kova continued to remain in the Queen’s lap while Allura played with him. _

_ His eyes lingered on Allura as they always did. Such a love, wonderful creature. Reading to him the tales of times past and now she had befriended his most precious companion. It was the best situation he could have hoped for. _

_ The road wasn’t so bumpy now and the gentle bump of the road lulled him to rest. Thoughts of the sea, the stars, Lotarious the Uniter, and Kaltor the Great all circled around as he drifted off once more… _

_ \--- _

_ The village was magnificent. They had stopped just a little before the entrance and of course the second they walked through, the villages bowed. Melenor, being as she was, asked for none of that. There wasn’t a single villager that didn’t bow before her or one that she didn’t smile at. A young woman presented her with a garland of assorted flowers, which she gratefully accepted. No one seemed put off by the guards that were following closely behind them. It seemed like trips like this were frequent. _

_ She was the People’s Queen. _

_ She continued on, greeting the people. Allura and Lotor were a little behind and both noticed a little girl with jet black hair, trembling. There was something in her hands. They must’ve known they were coming. _

_ “For you, Princess,” the little girl walked up to her shyly, a lovely circlet made of a white flower he had never seen before. _

_ “Oh how lovely!” Allura commented, allowing the now beaming girl to crown her with it. “It’s beautiful, you have much talent already!” _

_ The little girl blushed with gratitude, making her rosy pink marks practically light up. Lotor smiled. There was no one that the princess couldn’t enchant. She really had taken after her mother. _

_ She was the People’s Princess. _

_ She turned to Lotor and there seemed to be a moment of confusion. _

_ “Forgive me, Your…?” she stopped, poor thing looked like she was panicking. _

_ “Prince Lotor,” Allura informed gently. “There is no need to be afraid. He is kind and gentle.” _

_ Lotor bowed and at this she seemed flustered. _

_ “Please no! A prince doesn’t need to bow to me!” she squeaked. _

_ Lotor shook his head, “You did a marvelous job. I bow to anyone who can create such wondrous things…” _

_ Others seemed to be watching and the little girl seemed to become more and more flustered. And then she looked a little sad. _

_ “Forgive me, Your Highness. I didn’t know, otherwise…” it was her turn to bow but Allura stopped her. _

_ “If, if it isn’t too much to ask, perhaps you could make him something as well. We can wait. We can come with you if you’d like…” _

_ She couldn’t refuse but she lit up. It was an honor anywhere to have anything requested personally by the royal family. For someone like her, it must’ve meant everything. _

_ “Mother!” she called out and Melenor turned from talking to an elderly woman. “Lotor and I want to go to the flower shop, will that be alright. _

_ She nodded her approval, “Take a guard with you. Return soon!” _

_ They didn’t much like the idea of a guard following them around. They were never any fun. You couldn’t even play with them, they remained ever serious and glued to their duties. They both supposed that it couldn’t be helped. _

_ The streets were narrow but the buildings were well maintained and beautiful. He supposed the village was prosperous. The streets themselves were properly paved. The guard had to keep up with them and they had to be careful not to lose him. Allura had reminded him that they hadn’t been so pleased after he had returned to the castle with an ill princess. _

_ It was a warm summer day and the sun was beating down. Perhaps he should’ve worn something a bit lighter like the Queen and princess had. He looked up at the buildings in wonder. The architecture was marvelous and there was a flower vine cascading down one the balconies. _

_ Of course that building is where the flower shop was located. It fit perfectly. As he entered, the many scents hit him at full blast. He sniffled a bit, it was overwhelming. _

_ Allura immediately took notice, “Are you alright?” _

_ How she was so attentive to him, this absolute angel. _

_ “I am, Lu. Just a lot of wonderful smells,” he said, squeezing her hand. _

_ The little flower shop girl disappeared behind the counter and returned with the same white flowers as before. _

_ Lotor looked at them curiously, “What flowers are they?” _

_ “Notasian Lilies. They grow in the Notasia Mountains all the way down south. Nothing can grow there, except these flowers. They can adapt anywhere, but they’re the most pretty over there.” _

_ “It’s true. They grow in the coldest place on the planet, they are resilient and beautiful. We have them in a special greenhouse in the main palace. The butterflies gravitate to them as much as they do juniberries…” _

_ They were lovely, they really were. Perhaps for their resilience. But the juniberry flower was the most beautiful to him. All life sprang forth for one, could there be anything lovelier than that. _

_ His eyes scanned the store for a sight of them and there were bouquets and wreaths. Even necklaces, but curiously no crowns. Until he noticed one on a mannequin. Curious as to why there was only one. _

_ “Is that the only one? The juniberry crown?” Lotor asked, pointing it out to the little girl. _

_ She stopped what she was doing, “Yes, we don’t make those.” _

_ Allura squeezed his hand once more, “Flower shops sell the juniberries, but they do not make the crown.” _

_ Lotor cocked his head to the side in confusion, “Why not?” _

_ Allura giggled a little, “Because they are only meant for brides. The groom must make them. It’s a sign of his love and devotion.” _

_ The little flower shop girl had gone back to what she was doing, very focused on getting the crown down. Her fingers intricately weaved through the flowers without breaking them apart. It was not a skill everyone possessed. And it was impressive but his thoughts were elsewhere. _

_ He gazed at Allura, who in turn gazed back at him. His eyes trailed up to the crown of lilies on her head and for a brief moment, he imagined that she was wearing a juniberry crown. _

_ A juniberry crown that was weaved by his own hand... _

* * *

He wasn’t quite sure what to make of any of this… 

The signal had flashed and Lotor demanded that his ship be taken in the direction of it. Then it stopped for a time, leaving them floating in empty space. 

“Should we turn back?” Ezor asked. 

He didn’t answer right away. His eyes were firmly fixed on the screen where the signal had just been moments ago. 

Had it been someone’s idea of a cruel joke? No, that wasn’t possible. There was no one in living memory who knew that signal. Save for him, Dayak, and Allura. It was Alfor’s distress code. Well Zarkon as well, but Zarkon wasn’t out here. His father had paid him no mind since his exile. 

That and his father didn’t particularly care for these sparsely populated regions. 

“No,” he answered. “Set course for the nearest system. We will wait it out for a quintant and if there is nothing more, we will continue as we were.” 

They obeyed as they always did. He understood, he really did. Following this signal had been purely emotional because had it been any other time, he would’ve been cautious. But he went for it. He understood how he might’ve looked to everyone on board, erratic and frazzled. 

So because of everything and his own way of apologizing, that night he dismissed everyone for the night. The only ones who stayed behind were the generals and Dayak. He sat in his seat, staring back and forth between the screen and the stars. 

He could feel Dayak’s eyes on him as he was lost in his own thoughts. Could it be here? No, why would it be? What would she be doing out here, at the very void forsaken edge of the universe? He ruled out Zarkon, his father would not spend valuable time and energy trying to play cruel pranks on him. And Dayak was right here. 

So who? 

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt something soft and fuzzy rub against his face. He blinked and looked down to see Kova trying to nuzzle with him. 

And he smiled. 

“Kova,” he mumbled, petting the top of the feline’s head. He was purring. 

Perhaps he knew. Kova was the only one, the only one who understood the depth of the loss. He’d lost her too. 

“She’s alive Kova. Lu is alive,” he whispered as Kova climbed up to perch on his shoulder. An intuitive one, his old cat was.

He continued to pet him and continued to look out at the stars before him. It had been so long since he felt the warmth and comfort of Kova. It truly felt like old times. Another sign, perhaps, that not all was lost. 

Dayak was standing right next to him and he could feel her eyes watching him carefully. What would he do next? What did she expect him to do next? She had been unusually quiet this entire time. It was unlike her to not question every single thing he was doing as he was doing it. 

“What is this Dayak? Have you something to say?” 

“Hm,” was her only reply. 

He hated to admit that he was indeed missing her nagging and disapproval at this moment. As much as he sighed or rolled his eyes at her words, Lotor always found some kind of direction in his old governess’ words. 

“Dayak…” he sounded so worn and tired. Even he flinched at the sound of his voice. 

She stood stiff and straight as a rod, continuing to look at him. Yes, she definitely had something that she had wanted to say to him. It was quite rare that she didnt know exactly what to say to him. 

Could anyone blame him if he was a bit unnerved by it all. 

“I was wondering when I would have to tell you this,” she spoke carefully. 

The frown on Lotor’s face only deepened, “Tell me what? Don’t be cryptic, Dayak. It isn’t like you at all.” 

She stalled a little longer and Lotor’s patience was wearing thin. He was about to say something, to tell her to come out with it. But she spoke before he could have the chance to say anything. 

“You must have known that there were Alteans that were off-world when Altea was destroyed…” she began. 

Lotor’s stomach dropped. Of course he’d known that. Diplomats, traders, others who had settled off-world. 

“Yes…” was his careful response. 

“And you know that, they were hunted down. And, for the most part, were apprehended?” she continued. 

He slumped, “The _ most _part?” 

“From what I believe. I was on Altea as well. Coran... “ her voice broke and she went silent for a few ticks. “Coran was closest to Alfor. The man had records, no one left Altea without there being a record of it. I was always sure that there were others out there.”

Lotor stared at her, “You’re sure?” 

Dayak nodded, “There weren’t many caught.”

Lotor closed his eyes, “I was made aware after the fact. Zarkon always sent me to the fringes to carry out whatever ridiculous task he made up for me. After I got back from one, I’d found out that any remaining Alteans had been found and executed.” 

It was painful for him. He had spent much of his early years seeking out any Alteans if he found so much as a clue. He’d known better than to follow flimsy leads, but he supposed that he was desperate. And he was always unsuccessful. Another hope that had been dashed. He had grown used to that yet he still kept going. There had been a bit of hope in him yet. 

Though as years wore on, that hope had been ground out of him. He had accepted that he was the last of his kind. It was a painful acceptance too. It marked the death of the wide-eyed, hopeful little boy. And it marked the birth of a determined, hardened man that had looked into the abyss. 

An abyss he had almost let himself be swallowed by. Almost. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” 

“Because of how you are. You were afraid to hope and you still are. And without the proper information, it wouldn’t have been prudent to send you on a wild goose chase. Now looking at this signal, perhaps I am about to figure out how they escaped. And once again, I wasn’t sure. I am not exactly a part of the Emperor’s inner circle so I can’t say for sure if there were private executions. I only know of the ones that were public. It seems my doubts were correct so I think saying ‘most’ is still generous.” she answered. 

He could’ve commented that they couldn’t hunt out here as it was outside Zarkon’s jurisdiction but even he snorted at that. He knew very damn well that such things as territory didn’t matter to Zarkon. He did as he pleased and no one would oppose him. And any and all opposition would be swiftly dealt with and crushed. Did it even matter to him anymore? 

Stupid question, if Allura was alive and leading Voltron, then yes it most definitely mattered. 

Which meant, he would have to seek these possible Alteans out as soon as possible and get them to join the cause. On top of that, he was so close to building an alliance outside the Empire. If he could do this one thing… 

And if this signal was indeed the descendants or even the Alteans that had been off-world when Altea was destroyed, that simplified things much more. And perhaps he could seek her out sooner. 

His heart was racing. 

His generals had been watching and listening the entire time. Even Kova was sitting up and listening intently at the old woman’s words. 

He looked to the women and they stared back. 

“Whatever you decide,” Acxa reassured, as she had the night before. 

Stars, he was grateful for them. 

“We stay here for a few quintants. If the signal isn’t sent out again, we will leave. Till then, we stay put,” he repeated.

Everyone nodded in understanding. He could see the whole room from where he was sitting. He could see that Ezor and Zethrid looked as if they were ready to explode. 

He knew exactly what they were thinking. 

“None of you are very good at hiding what you’re thinking,” he gave them a tiny but sad smile. 

Acxa didn’t say anything about their conversation, it was as if it didn’t happen. In a way, Lotor was thankful for that. It was difficult for him, talking about his feelings and personal desires after he lost Allura. 

They looked embarrassed, well Ezor did. Zethrid was grumbled something. 

“Our Galra half is what brought us together. You’ve all been by my side at cost to yourselves and I want you to know that I wouldn’t be anywhere had it not been for you. Or Dayak,” he said. 

He had apologized to them and he had shared how he felt earlier, but a reminder never hurt. It kept them motivated. 

“And...if what Dayak is saying is true, we may see the fruit of everything we’ve worked for very soon,” he went on. 

They didn’t say anything, but he had their attention now. 

“If these are indeed Alteans…” he trailed off. There were many possibilities to this particular scenario. Most of all, it meant that he and Allura were not the last Alteans left in the universe. If they weren’t completely hostile towards him. True he looked Altean for the most part, but there were parts of him that were very obviously Galra. This could totally backfire on him, but he had to try. 

There was no alternative. If he sought them out, he may have a path to Allura. And then from there, a way to Zarkon. To save all and return the universe to the previous state of peace. 

That’s all he knew for now. A movement ago, none of this seemed possible. It was a sort of mental whiplash that he was still processing. 

“You think Allura would know about them?” Zethrid asked and everyone turned to look at her. Even Narti had her head turned. 

“It’s...possible…” he whispered. 

There was no guarantee, he still had to try. 

“Sorry…” she grumbled. 

Lotor sighed, “No it’s quite alright. One way or another, this war will end. Voltron being back has heralded the end of Zarkon’s reign. We must prepare for it. If Alteans have survived, we can make an alliance with them. Bring them over to the side of Voltron and the rebellion, same with the other treaties we have right now. People need hope if the universe is to survive.” 

How many planets had fallen to his father’s addiction? Would he suck the life out of every planet just so he could pump himself with more quintessence? He hadn’t seen his father in millennia, yet from everything he knew, his father was practically an unfeeling monster. And the Galra were unwaveringly loyal to him, well most of them. 

This had to end. He couldn’t go to Allura empty-handed. He needed a decent force to offer her as well. Even if she welcomed him back with open arms and a loving embrace, she needed more. 

“I am hedging a lot on this, I know. If she doesn’t know, she will need to. The flame of Altea hasn’t yet been extinguished. And she will feel entirely alone in this. And Voltron cannot win on its own. They are taking on an entire Empire. They need forces…”

He was repeating himself over and over. It was to remind himself that there was still something he had yet to achieve. 

“What exactly are you planning?” Ezor asked, quietly. 

It wasn’t so surprising to hear it from her. She was loyal but Ezor was always a curious one. Acxa did say that they would follow him, whatever he decided. He didn’t question any of their loyalties. But it was true, he hadn’t been forthcoming about any of his plans. It wasn’t a question of loyalty, she had a right to know. 

He thought for a moment. And even Dayak was looking at him, with a pointed, questioning look. 

“The reason for all these alliances, as you know, is to create a defense, a resistance against Zarkon. I know we’re outside of the Empire’s control right now, but Zarkon is expanding the greedier he gets. And…” he paused. He’d also been researching into other things the past long while, things he had previously had an aversion to because of all things that were going on. 

There was still a planet-less Empire with a huge dependence on quintessence he had to think about. He couldn’t just quell that by saying, “No more.” 

He needed a solution and soon. He had some ideas but many of them made his stomach turn. Even long ago, when he’d been tasked with a mining colony of his own, he had tried to work with the denizens of the planet side by side, as equals. But it had always been looming in the back of his mind that he was also their overlord, helping in their oppression. He had been kind and had always tried to treat them well. But he knew what he was. And also because of them, an entire civilization and culture was gone. And he knew for a fact that most Galra would not be open to employing his methods. 

That event had been his final wake up call. The plight of all those that had ever been conquered, this was their fate if they disobeyed. The suffering and the plight of those who had been subjugated were never spoken of in the tales of the great conquerors. Now it wasn’t about conquering and showing their might. It was his father’s addiction and insatiable desire for life’s very essence. It had caused him and his Empire to become plagues on the entire universe itself. 

They would have to be weaned off. He just didn’t know how. 

And until then, he didn’t have an answer to give. He had to study it more. But he wouldn’t give up. 

“And?” Zethrid was motioning him to continue. 

He was about to open his mouth again when their attention was called to the main screen again. 

The Altean signal was flashing once again. 

Lotor practically jumped out of his seat. 

“Acxa, Zethrid, Ezor! Track where that signal is coming from and send me the coordinates. I will go there myself.” 

Everyone looked at him incredulously. 

“What if it’s a trap?” this time it was Ezor who said it.

Lotor had considered that, “It’s a signal very few would still know. There are no Galra besides us out here. And only ones who would know it are Zarkon, me, Allura, or any Altean who was around before the destruction. It’s not in the database either, Zarkon made sure to wipe Altea from the collective memory.” 

No one said anything. 

“Acxa, I leave you in charge. Dayak will be here as well…” 

“Lotor…” Dayak was frowning. He sighed. 

“Dayak I know what you’re thinking. That I’m being foolish. But it’s a risk I must take. There aren’t many options left. You said that your loyalty is to the Empire, I’m ensuring its survival and the survival of this universe. I must take risks…” 

Dayak nodded but he knew the old governess well. She was sad but she knew he was right. The nod was her blessing. 

Kova was still perched on his shoulders and he gently lifted him up and smiled sadly. 

“Stay with Narti, she needs you now,” he whispered. 

He knew Kova understood but it still hurt a bit. Kova had been his only companion for so long, since he was old enough to remember. 

He turned on his heel to walk out the door. But he could feel the eyes and ears of all the women behind them. 

“I will return, I promise…” 

The words he had said to Allura so long ago when he was forced to return to Daibazaal. 

He would make good on it this time. 

And it was time he made good on it to the person he promised first. There was no room for failure…

\---

It was nice, travelling through the vast darkness of space. He liked flying, he did. But right now, he had the autopilot on. He had to think, process everything that had happened recently. It was a blessing that gave him much anxiety. Voltron was back, Allura was alive, there may be Alteans left, and the treaty negotiations with key planets beyond the Empire were going well. 

Too well. 

Lotor had never been so fortunate as to have good things last, so he always counted his blessings. And he was trying not to take them for granted because if one thing failed, the whole thing could unravel itself quickly. 

And just remembering Allura, his thoughts wandered back to her. It had been so long, so long since he could remember such happiness. Knowing that she was alive, he longed to be close to her again. 

Lotor closed his eyes. He remembered her face on the day he was ordered to return to Daibazaal, the alliance broken. Just before that, they were running through the fields and rolling around in the flowers. The smile on her face was dazzling. He remembered kissing her, the last kiss they shared when all was carefree. And he would reach out… 

...And his hand hit the window, causing him to open his eyes back up. He sighed. 

He wished to return to that time, when their dreams didn’t seem so childish and foolish. When he could have her all to himself and he could hold her without consequence. And the only responsibility they had was caring for Kova together… 

When she looked at him as if he were a hero, a man who had conquered the stars and lay them at her feet. 

Would she still look at him that way? He imagined that it wasn’t very likely. Too much had happened. He knew she had suffered greatly, even if he didn’t know the specifics. She must’ve hated anything Galra or at least she would be wary. 

It hurt to think about. He did not like seeing hurt, sad, or in danger. He had promised her so much and even now when she was alive, he had failed to keep many promises. He couldn’t keep her safe. She was fighting now, a war that she never should have ever had to fight. 

And if she was angry with him, surely she had a right to be. But the truth was, he didn’t know. The possibilities scared him. 

_ Focus Lotor, focus… _

This area of space was rather barren. There was a system here and according to the generals, there was only one planet that orbited it. It was rather curious that he’d never even heard of it? Even if they weren’t within the Empire, the systems still appeared on the star charts. This one, on the other hand? 

_ “It shows up as a blank spot on the charts, sir. That is until someone sent out the signal, then it appeared...” _Acxa’s voice had sounded even, but he could practically hear the unease brewing behind it. 

He thought for a moment. If these were Alteans, they would want to keep their existence entirely cloaked. Even all the way out here, but what were they sending out the signal for? Were they in danger? Were they in need of assistance? 

All the more reason to check it out. 

It could be a trap as well, but it was likely not. No one went through that much trouble to cloak their existence to spring a trap like this. Anyone who wanted him dead considered him as good as dead. No one took him seriously as one and perhaps that’s how he wanted to make it seem. 

On top of that, succession was not based on blood. He was just the exiled brat after all. 

Something was appearing in the distance and he squinted his eyes. It was the planet, surely it had to be. Or a large asteroid. Either way… 

“I see something,” he said over his comm. 

No one said anything but he did hear everyone inhale, as if waiting for something to happen. He took a deep breath as his cruiser flew on. As he drew closer, the planet’s features became more prominent.

He’d seen many worlds over the past millennia. But there was something about this one. From where he could see, there was a giant landmass that stretched from pole to pole with the bluest seas he had laid eyes on in a while. The landmass itself was littered with small lakes and seas. He couldn’t tell if there was more land than that but right now he needed to find a place to land. 

He neared and he could feel the sweat coming on. Had he ever felt such anxiety? Probably, but at the moment, it felt like he never had. 

“I’m entering the atmosphere,” he said, sometime later. “It’s breathable according to my readings. Trace where the signal is coming from, I’ll land near there.” 

“Is he serious?” he heard someone, almost certainly Zethrid, mumbling in the background. 

“I heard that. Yes, I’m absolutely serious,” he responded. He could almost see the look on her face and it was comical but he didn’t laugh. He focused on the signal. No, this couldn’t possibly be the work of a Galra. Not all the way out here. From the looks of it, it was if they were struggling to get the code out. It just didn’t seem likely to be a trap. Something told him that it wasn’t. And he was listening to his gut feeling this time. There was something here and he would know what it is. 

It was nostalgic, flying through the sparse cloud cover. All the times he had flown into Altea, it was on a day such as this one. There weren’t many planets like that in this giant universe, not ones he’d been on. 

It was so easy to get lost in the nostalgia, but landing was always the most dangerous part of the flight. Acxa sent the location of where the signal was coming from. He almost forgot to breathe as he got a better look at the landscape. There were mountains that surrounded a lake and when he got closer to the ground, his eyes widened at the purple and pink patches at the base of the mountains. 

As soon as he landed, he all but sprang out of the cruiser. He ripped off his helmet and if it was possible to swallow his tongue at that very moment, he was pretty sure that he would have done just that. 

It was almost exactly like the Altea in his memory. 

He could have teared up. 

His eye caught something in that moment and he really couldn’t believe it. Pink as the last time he had seen it, it was a perfect little juniberry. He bent down and gently plucked it from the ground. 

The smell could have made him cry. It was as if a million different memories hit him at full speed. 

Including her words on the day he was remembering earlier, the last day that they had been carefree children… 

_ Wherever there are juniberries, that is where you will find me… _

Except, there was no princess in sight. And it was distressing though he knew she was still alive and out there somewhere. 

He looked around, there was a line of trees just beyond, on the other side of the field. A field of juniberries. That’s what he had landed on. The pink of the juniberry and the dark green of the trees contrasted with the blue of the sky. 

He probably looked foolish. His eyes were wide and his knees felt weak. He could have dropped to his knees and cried up to the sky. That would make him look mad. But he felt as though he was going mad. 

He had felt like he was going mad since he had lost Altea and his princess. He had been losing his mind the last couple of movements where so much had happened. The return of Voltron, the knowledge that his beloved still drew breath, and now he had stepped foot onto a planet that looked exactly like Altea. And there were juniberries. This was either the most elaborate trap or there was so much more going on here that he didn’t know. And the thought of it made his heart thump fast. And it made him feel the loss and absence of his beloved once more. 

It was very little consolation at this very moment that Allura was out there. He was still happy beyond belief at this fact, it was true. But she was somewhere else, far away from him. He didn’t know where but she was far away, very far away. Where his arms couldn’t possibly reach for her. He was missing her so much and she deserved to see this. It was as if he had come home but not exactly. Not all was lost. Allura deserved to know that it wasn’t lost. 

He looked on at the fields. He saw them again, a young prince and princess chasing each other in the fields. A happy cat was running with them. They were so happy, so carefree. He should have brought Kova. Yes, Kova would love it here.

“Oh, Lu. Where are you, my darling? Please let me see you soon…” he whispered and he could feel something warm slide down his cheek. A single, solitary tear. The wind blew past him, as if to tell him something. 

“Lotor?” he heard over the comm. It was Acxa’s concerned voice. She was still holding her breath from before. 

“I’ve landed safely, Acxa…” he flinched at how hoarse his voice sounded. But it was all true. He was so overwhelmed that he forgot to update his crew on the situation. 

“Let me speak to him,” he heard Dayak’s demand in her irritated, cold tone of voice. ‘Lotor, what is it? Have you found anything? If there is nothing there, you must come back. They could spring a trap on you. I knew it was foolish to go there without more information!” 

It was a calculated risk, he would’ve liked to remind her but all that would’ve gotten him was another sound whack of her crop upon his return. No, she no longer used her spartan forms of discipline on him but he didn’t doubt that she would get it without hesitation. 

He was about to say something when he was cut off with a soft gasp behind him. It was instinct at this point for Lotor to turn around and come face to face with a sight that he never thought that he would see again. 

There stood a boy with red hair. He wore attire that he had seen worn by the people in the neighboring village by summer palace. His big blue eyes were wide and he seemed to take a step forward. His pointed ears and the blue marks on his cheeks gave away that he was indeed Altea. 

“You got our signal,” he said in a whisper. He was no older than 15 deca-phoebes in age. And Lotor was a little taken aback by the way that this boy looked at him with absolute reverence. 

“You answered our call. You’ve come to help us. To save us...” 

_ What? Save them? Oh, stars… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm introducing the colony BUT I have a whole other use for them and characterizations of all the Colony Alteans will be changed around a bit. I have a plan, I promise.


	7. A Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story turns 1 today, yay! Once again, thank you to everyone who commented last time! You guys keep me motivated! 
> 
> I set up a few things this chapter. This chapter is primarily set up but I promise that the ball will get going next chapter! Hope you enjoy! 💜💖

_ Lotor sat at the top of the steps, overlooking the field of juniberries. An enormous monument with the symbol of Voltron stood proud and tall behind him. The castle was a distance away but for miles and miles, there was nothing but the flowers and mountains. The soft glow of the evening only emphasized the beauty of the Altean landscape. Allura wanted to play outside and enjoy the warmth. The summer was coming to a slow close and she wanted to enjoy it before they journeyed to the Altean capital. _

_ Usually, he would’ve joined Allura as she ran around in the flowers, but today he had decided not to. Dayak had really gone hard with today’s training and his little legs hurt as a result. _

_ Good thing there was Kova to keep Allura company and entertained. He smiled fondly as she watched the two of his best friends chasing each other around. The sound of her laughter was like the sweetest music to his ears. And he could not help but grin from ear to ear. _

_ Those smiles were more common now. _

_ He wasn’t very good yet, but he was trying. He carried his little drawing pad and pens out there. He wanted to draw the mountains and the fields. He wanted to draw the little butterflies and worms. _

_ But all he could focus on was the princess who was now rolling around in the fields with his cat. She was laughing so much and it made his little heart swell. _

_ But drawing the mountains and the juniberries were so much easier than trying to get the exact pattern of her curls. _

_ They were too perfect. And he kept messing up. _

_ Nothing seemed to capture how pretty she was. _

_ “Lotor!” he heard her call out. He looked down to see her lying among the flowers with Kova walking on her stomach and chest. She lifted him up like he was a baby. “Join us!” _

_ The sun was setting and soon there wouldn’t be any light left to draw. And he still couldn’t get the curls right. _

_ But he couldn’t resist the urge to play in the flowers with her. _

_ And he very much didn’t care if he came out smelling “flowery and not intimidating” as Dayak had put. _

_ He just wanted to have fun. _

_ Even Kova seemed to be more active than Lotor had ever seen him. He was playing in the fields, running around, and even followed Allura around as Lotor did. _

_ And his purring. His purring sounded more like an engine. But he was happy. _

_ Lotor set down his supplies and practically ran down the steps. She was still lifting Kova into the air like he was a child and the old cat was chuffing. _

_ “You’re a very handsome kitten, aren’t you?” she cooed. _

_ Lotor took his place next to her and smiled, “He’s not a kitten, Lu. He’s older than both of us.” _

_ Allura cocked her head to the side, looking up at him curiously. _

_ “Oh? He looks quite young…” _

_ Nothing more was said and Allura continued lavishing her attention on Kova. And it was silly, but it made the little prince a little envious. Although, he couldn’t quite blame the cat for loving it. Allura was like that, afterall. She made everyone feel special. _

_ But he wanted some attention now. _

_ “Should we be getting back?” Lotor asked. _

_ Allura hummed, “We can stay out till it gets dark. Coran will come for us.” _

_ Lotor’s brows slowly rose. That was odd. A princess staying out after dark? That was unthinkable. And for the couple of phoebs that he’d been there, they were required to be back long before nightfall. _

_ “How come?” Lotor asked, turning to her. She smiled when she turned to him, bringing Kova down to her chest once more. _

_ “Oh, they’re planning my surprise birthday celebration,” she answered and it looked like she was about to start laughing. _

_ Lotor blinked, “Isn’t the purpose of a surprise birthday is for it to be...a _ surprise _ ?” _

_ He was confused. He wouldn’t know such things. His father and mother never bothered with such festivities. Usually, it was Dayak who prepared something for him. But his birthday stopped meaning anything to him. _

_ Only with Allura and being on Altea, did the concept of celebrating the day of one’s birth seem to mean something. _

_ “Yes, they do the same thing every year. I’m used to it. I am a princess, afterall.” _

_ It wasn’t noticeable, but there was a hint of boredom in her voice. And she was trying to hide it. _

_ Lotor thought for a moment, “I see…” _

_ Allura shook her head, “My birthday always falls at the end of summer. The celebrations are always grand. Same faces, same food, same games. I don’t expect that they’ll do much different this year.” _

_ She _ was _ bored. _

_ Her birthday had lost meaning for her as well. For completely different reasons. _

_ And that was unacceptable to him. _

_ “Look!” Allura said suddenly, pointing at something in the sky. “Quick! Close your eyes and make a wish!” _

_ Lotor’s attention quickly turned to the sky. He looked in awe as he saw something speed across the now pink and purple sky. _

_ He remembered what Allura had instructed him to do. He squeezed his eyes shut. He had never heard of such a thing. But he listened all the same. _

_ It was just space rock that was burning up in Altea’s atmosphere, was it not? _

_ Still, he made a wish. Not sure what it would, but he made it all the same. _

_ It wasn’t for him. _

_ He opened his eyes and he turned to her, her eyes were still closed. He didn’t move, he just wanted to look. Her marks were beginning to glow as the pink and purple of the sky faded into a deep blue. They sparkled like the sky, he’d always thought so. _

_ She was just perfect, there were no other words to describe his sweetest friend. Of course, she was perfect. No one had ever reached out to be his friend, until she came along. _

_ A friend, that was all he had ever wished for. And she had given him just that. _

_ He would give her more. He would give her everything that he thought she deserved. He would give her a birthday that she could remember deca-phoebs from now when they were exploring the stars together. _

_ She opened her eyes and turned to look at him, her soft smile never fading. He returned the smile. It was, indeed, very dark now. But he could see her perfectly. _

_ “What did you wish for?” he asked. _

_ There was a glimmer in her eyes, “I can’t tell you.” _

_ His smile dropped into a frown, “Why not?” _

_ She giggled and he didn’t see what was so funny. _

_ “Because, silly, if I tell you, it won’t come true!” _

_ He’d never heard that before. A wish could not be spoken of? What kind of rule was that? All these things were so very new to him and he didn’t understand so much still. _

_ “Says who?” he asked. _

_ Allura thought for a moment and then shrugged, “That’s how it’s always been. You don’t tell.” _

_ He didn’t ask anymore, but it was still silly. But he looked up at the stars. _

_ There was still so much left to learn. But he was determined. _

_ For Princess Allura, he would learn everything. And he would make her happy. It was all he desired… _

—

_ Allura’s birthday was on the very last day of the Altean summer. Her birth always heralded the coming of the harvest and the year she was born, the harvest had been plentiful. No one had gone hungry that year, according to the stories. _

_ She was special. But Lotor knew that. He knew that better than anyone. _

_ Now she had to _ feel _ special. She deserved to feel it. _

_ Lotor had spent the next few quintants thinking of what he could do, what he could give her to make her feel the way he wanted to make her feel on such a special day. _

_ He would give her a drawing. If he could perfect it, but there was something else. Something else that needed to be gifted to her. _

_ He expected that she would be given new dresses, new toys, and various other items. But it seemed that it was never anything that she truly wanted. She wasn’t ungrateful, but for all the special attention, no one ever seemed to ask her what she would have liked. _

_ Lotor thought long and hard as he continued with her drawing. _

_ Her hair and eyes were the hardest. An imperfect being such as himself couldn’t draw someone so perfect, could he? But he would try. He would try as he planned. _

_ He would plan as he trained as well. And he trained harder than ever. _

_ He hadn’t felt Dayak’s crop once that week. _

_ The old woman seemed very pleased. _

_ “You’re learning…” she commented. _

_ Lotor didn’t fall for it. He didn’t stop to thank her. That usually would’ve earned him a hit. And that delighted Dayak all the more. _

_ “That’s enough for today,” she told him and he breathed a sigh of relief. He was tired. His muscles ached. Dayak hadn’t gone easy on him today. Then again, she never went easy on him. She got tougher with each passing day. _

_ “You’re doing well, Lotor,” she complimented as he wiped himself off with a towel. He didn’t say anything. He just enjoyed the compliment. She rarely handed them out. And he wasn’t going to push his luck by questioning it. _

_ Though, that seemed to be the wrong thing. _

_ “No words today?” she asked. _

_ Lotor mumbled, “I just wanted to enjoy the compliment.” _

_ Her eyes narrowed, “You’ve never seemed so determined. In fact, you’ve been more receptive to the training. If I didn’t have clear instructions from Emperor Zarkon, I would have allowed you to start your official training right now. So what is it?” _

_ He didn’t say anything but he looked down at the floor. _

_ She should know. He had made the vow right in front of her. Dayak didn’t forget things. _

_ “Hmm, the princess’ birth-quintant will be upon us in a matter of quintants…” she commented but she was never beat around the bush. She wanted him to hear it. But she was still using the words of old. No one said birth-quintant anymore… _

_ He nodded. _

_ “And what will you present to her on such an important occasion?” she asked. Her eyes bore into him, expecting an answer. The right answer. _

_ He nearly shrunk away. But he could hear Dayak’s voice telling him that the heir to the Galra throne did not shrink away from anything. _

_ “I plan to give her two gifts…” he mumbled. _

_ “Speak up!” _

_ “I plan to give her two gifts!” he spoke louder and clearer this time. His cheeks were burning and he was sure Dayak could see it. _

_ Dayak arched a brow and folded her arms, “And what do you plan on giving her?” _

_ “Something handmade that I’ve been making for a while and something...else.” _

_ He hated how he couldn’t even begin to guess what she would want. It was embarrassing because Allura knew him better at this point. _

_ She didn’t expect anything from him, probably for him to be by her side so that she wouldn’t die of boredom at her own feast. _

_ But that wouldn’t do… _

_ “What else?” Dayak demanded. _

_ “I don’t...know yet.” _

_ Of course Dayak was displeased with that answer. Her frown was deep and it was scary. He didn’t want to look at her when she made that face. _

_ He was afraid that she was going to whack him. _

_ But she did no such thing. She only continued to give him her piercing stare as she spoke. _

_ “I suggest you figure it out within the quintant then. The clock is ticking. You are not just gifting the princess, you are representing Daibazaal as you do. Do not shame us or this alliance boy.” _

_ A warning as usual. Wonderful. No pressure at all. _

_ But then an idea came to him. _

_ There was someone who could help him out with this. But for that, he would have to sneak into the village. _

_ This was important after all… _

—

_ Coran sure loved to talk. He was absolutely delighted when Lotor asked him to accompany him to the village to get Allura a gift. _

_ And he was full of stories. Some of them were fascinating. _

_ Others, such as his various ailments and injuries, not so much. _

_ Lotor was still quite embarrassed about the yelmore trap. Coran had just started walking without a limp and Lotor prayed to the ancients and stars above that nothing unfortunate would happen during their little trip to the village. _

_ “Why I remember when I was just a boy and out exploring with my Pop Pop-” Lotor tuned him out. He made a show of listening. _

_ But there was so much to see as well. He remembered when he came here with Allura some time back. He was fascinated by the life of the average Altean. He saw children running around as they worked. He saw shopkeepers and vendors going about their business. _

_ He could smell the very familiar lilies as he passed by the flower shop. He still had the crown though it was very dead at this point. And he marvelled at the sight of the juniberry crown, still fresh as the day he had seen it. _

_ Coran stopped talking and looked at what Lotor was looking at. Lotor heard a small chuckle. _

_ “Ah, looking at the juniberry crown, are you?” _

_ Lotor nodded, “A sign of marriage, right?” _

_ “That is correct. A sign of eternal love and devotion. And the promise of giving new life as well…” Coran answered. _

_ He didn’t sound as chipper as he normally did. He didn’t sound sad but it was gentle, softer. _

_ So Lotor asked the question, “Have you ever given or made one for someone?” _

_ Coran shook his head, “Afraid not. She left us before I had the opportunity to even propose. So I gave my life to the royal family. And serving them has always done it for me.” _

_ Lotor could smell a liar when he heard one but he wasn’t blind either. Coran and Dayak _ were _ spending an awful lot of time together. Everyone could see it but Lotor knew better than to tease Dayak about it. _

_ And the air around the two of them grew uncomfortable and Lotor shifted a bit uncomfortably. _

_ “Shall we continue?” he asked. _

_ Coran’s smile returned along with his chipper demeanor, “Lead the way, Prince!” _

_ It was a relief to break the tension, Lotor felt like he’d said something very wrong. And normally that would’ve gotten him backhanded by his father or stared down by his mother. This was Coran, though. Maybe not everyone reacted so negatively to being asked personal questions. _

_ But for some reason, the answer to his question hit him in the face as he was thinking about personal questions. _

_ Mostly because it was with Coran. He had told him that Allura liked stories. _

_ Stories. Books. _

_ The universe was giving him a sign because when the two turned a corner, an old bookstore caught Lotor’s eye. _

_ He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. Coran tried to keep up but Lotor knew that he was fast. And there was nothing like an antique bookshop. _

_ They didn’t have many on Daibazaal and Lotor wasn’t allowed to be alone outside the palace walls. And he wasn’t allowed in those shops. They weren’t deemed necessary to him. Just ancient or fantastical gibberish that would fill his head with nonsense ideas. The future ruler of the Galra had no use for them. _

_ It was frustrating to say the least. But it was acceptable here. _

_ “Slow down lad! I’m not as young as I once was,” he heard Coran’s voice but by then he was already mere feet from the door. _

_ The door wasn’t automatic either so Lotor had to physically open it. This village really was stuck in time. _

_ And it was heavy. Too heavy for him. _

_ But Coran caught up with him just in time. He chuckled before helping the prince with the door. _

_ “Sorry about that, lad. This village likes sticking to its roots and uses the least amount of modern technology that they can,” he explained. _

_ The smell of old books was another favorite of Lotor’s. Most children wanted sweets but Lotor wanted knowledge. _

_ Today, however, he was here with a purpose. _

_ At the desk near the back of the store stood an old lady. She had a kindly face and a sweet smile when she saw the little boy walk in. _

_ “Hello, dear,” she waved. “Looking for anything special.” _

_ Lotor was a little shy at first but he could see that the elderly woman would do him no harm and would not ridicule him. _

_ So he nodded enthusiastically. _

_ “A gift for a friend…” _

_ The old woman seemed delighted by that, “Your friend likes reading, do they?” _

_ “She does,” he responded, walking closer. Coran was not far behind him. _

_ She saw him and immediately bowed, though it seemed to cause her pain. Coran definitely noticed. _

_ “Madam please! No need for that. Prince Lotor and I are just here to buy the princess a gift.” _

_ She looked down at the boy once again and smiled, “Forgive me, Your Highness, I didn’t realize…” _

_ Lotor shook his head, “It’s quite alright, Miss. Today I’m just Lotor.” _

_ She still bowed her head in respect, the action causing her significantly less pain. And she walked out from behind the desk. _

_ “I had no idea the princess liked reading. I would be honored to help you, my prince.” _

_ Lotor beamed at this, relieved. _

_ “Thank you, Miss. I was struggling but Princess...Lula,” he flinched. He still couldn’t say her name. “Likes fairytales. Or tales of any kind. She likes stories of old. And she likes the story of The Lion Goddess the most!” _

_ The kindly shop owner seemed a little lost in thought before it looked like something had occurred to her. She looked excited as she disappeared behind a row of shelves. _

_ “Stay right there, Your Highness! I have just the thing!” _

_ Lotor stood there and he motioned to Coran and Coran crouched down to his level. _

_ “Do you think Lula will like my gift? Like, really really?” he asked, suddenly unsure. He remembered what she’d said. _

_ But he didn’t want to be like everyone else. He wanted to prove himself to his princess. He wanted to make her feel special and cared for if no one else did. _

_ Coran put a hand on Lotor’s shoulder, smiling at him. _

_ “I know she will. Especially when the gift is from you. I know she’ll love it.” _

_ His cheeks felt hot but he didn’t have much time to dwell on it because the old woman returned with a rather large, rather heavy looking book. Coran offered to take it from her. _

_ “Allow me to hold it, ma’am…” _

_ She looked grateful as she passed off the book to Coran, who then crouched so that Lotor could take a look at it. _

_ It was an ancient book with a dark red cover. In gold letters the title read, “Tales of Old, Tales of New.” _

_ A simple title and the author’s name was just under. _

_ “Ril...far?” he sounded out. He could see the two adults smiling at the name and nodding. _

_ “A most revered Sage of Old,” Coran explained. “They say that he could see into the future and he wrote down his prophecies.” _

_ The old shopkeeper chimed in, “And he wrote tales for children. They say that some of his prophecies are written into the tales.” _

_ Lotor wasn’t sure how much he believed in clairvoyance but he loved a good story so he looked up at them with wonder. _

_ He opened the book and nearly squealed in delight. There were pictures. Small, simplistic drawings, but it was perfect. _

_ One drawing caught his eye though. A woman stood tall. Her head was that of a lion and two angels stood before her. One was completely white, the other was completely black. They looked like angels. _

_ “The Lion Goddess…” Lotor mumbled. _

_ The old woman spoke again, “That’s right. And those are her two most favorite angels. She will send them when the universe needs them the most…” _

_ He hadn’t heard this story before. He wondered if Allura had. Maybe she had, maybe she hadn’t. Either way, this was perfect. _

_ “I’ll take it!” _

_ The purchase was quick. The book was otherwise expensive but the old woman made an exception. _

_ This was followed by the old woman asking them to come again. Of course he would. Whenever he could. Lotor waved back at her, something he didn’t usually do in the past. _

_ As they walked back to the transport, Lotor looked over at Coran, who was carrying the book in his hand. _

_ “Coran?” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ Lotor pauses for a moment, “I need your help with something. Something special for Lula. Will you help me?” _

_ Coran practically lit up. He lived for this kind of thing. _

_ “Absolutely!” _

—

_ The day had arrived. Lotor hadn’t seen Allura all day. She was whisked away elsewhere while the castle was in full preparation and Lotor was getting ready himself. _

_ It was all planned out. The larger celebration couldn’t be avoided, they had to attend. But Lotor would sneak her away when the moment was right. _

_ It was boring. Allura would be the last to arrive. No wonder Allura didn’t have much feeling for it, it seemed more like a place for the nobles to meet and talk than a celebration for the princess. _

_ King Alfor and Queen Melenor presided over Seeeveryone, sitting at the head of a large table. And Lotor stood near the entrance. He was in his finest clothing for the evening, dawning the colors of the Daibazaal royal family. _

_ When he saw her enter the ballroom that night, the wind left his lungs and he was absolutely captivated. _

_ Lotor quietly confessed that he loved seeing his princess in new gowns. But this was the first time he had seen her in something so lovely. _

_ Allura was the color of starlight. The dress was floor length and lacy. Around her was white cloak with small butterflies on them. Everyone bowed when she walked in. _

_ But the tick that she saw Lotor, she rushed over to him. He was honored truly and he bowed when she curtsied to him. _

_ “You look nice tonight,” she commented happily. _

_ His cheeks burned. His face burned. It was noticeable, he just knew. _

_ Allura didn’t comment. She never commented on anything embarrassing he did. _

_ For that he was grateful. _

_ Behind her was a shy looking girl. She smiled nervously between the prince and the princess. She was pale all around. Pale blonde hair but purple eyes. She was not a servant, a servant was not permitted to walk so closely with the princess. _

_ She was a girl from a noble family. Lotor was sure of that. But she looked nervous. Lotor had never seen her before. But the poor thing looked completely out of her depth. _

_ “This is Damara. She will be my lady-in-waiting once she finishes her primary education. Her family has been one of the most loyal to my family. Tonight was a test run and she has passed!” _

_ The girl looked relieved to hear this and she curtsied to them both. _

_ “It is an honor to serve you, Your Highness. And it is an honor to meet you, Prince Lotor.” _

_ Polite and kind, she would make a wonderful lady in waiting for Allura. He bowed back to her. The girl was flustered. _

_ Allura, sensitive as ever, sensed that as well. _

_ “You’ve done well, Damara. Go on, enjoy the celebration!” _

_ Once again, she curtsied. She looked grateful as she scurried away, leaving the two of them alone. _

_ “You look lovely princess…” he told her honestly. _

_ Her own cheeks flushed and she smiled. _

_ “Thank you, Lotor…” _

_ The dance was beginning, food was being served. As it was with any other feast. Lotor wasn’t really impressed by it. _

_ They took their seats at the large table and it was sheer boredom. Allura was fidgeting around in her seat. She wanted this to be over quickly. _

_ It was a shame. She looked so lovely. This celebration was just for her and everyone was doing everything else to treat it like any other celebration. _

_ Everything was ready. He just had to convince her to sneak away with him. _

_ He took her hand gently and squeezed it. _

_ She turned her attention to their hands and looked at him questioningly. _

_ “You’re bored…” he commented quietly. _

_ She looked embarrassed but she didn’t deny it. She couldn’t lie to him. _

_ “Is it so noticeable?” she questioned. _

_ Lotor shook his head, “No, but I know you.” _

_ Silence. _

_ “How about we get out of here?” he suggested. _

_ She lit up. He grinned. She was always a glutton for a little adventure. _

_ “Where?” she asked. _

_ “I have a little surprise for you…” he answered and she really lit up. It was genuine. Her eyes just lit up. _

_ She looked around. No one was paying attention to them. No one even looked their way. _

_ “Lead the way…” _

_ He grinned, setting his exit strategy into motion. _

—

_ Lotor really had to commend Coran. He was almost afraid of what the old man would have done but Lotor was so pleased. _

_ Allura’s playroom was decorated in such a way that it looked like an evening under the stars. There was a small table in the center of the room with chairs on both sides. In the center was a small basket of juniberry cakes. _

_ On Allura’s chair, there were her presents. Lotor did wonder how they were possibly going to move that. _

_ Overhead, the curtains were draped over them. They were blue and shimmery. Behind them, the twin moons shone down on them. There were candles everywhere. _

_ It was absolutely stunning. It was quiet. It was private. And it would, hopefully, make Allura feel like the special girl that she was. _

_ He brought her in, his hands covering her eyes. _

_ “Come on, Lotor, are we there yet? What is it?” _

_ “No, no! It wouldn’t be a surprise if I just showed you! We’re almost there.” _

_ He brought her close enough so that she could see just about everything that he had prepared for her. _

_ He stopped and he leaned into her ear, “Ready, Lula?” _

_ She nodded eagerly. _

_ Slowly he removed his hands from her eyes. It took a couple of ticks but Allura gasped. It was her excited gasp but Lotor’s heart still hammered in his chest. _

_ She didn’t say anything for a few moments and it was making him nervous. _

_ Had he guessed wrong? _

_ His ears were beginning to droop when… _

_ Allura looked back at him, with her beautiful smile and tear filled eyes. _

_ “Did you do this for me, Lotor?” _

_ He didn’t like her tears so he slowly nodded his head. _

_ “I did. I hoped. I hoped that you would feel special for once. Because you are special to me…” he confessed. _

_ He didn’t expect what she did next and that was for her to throw her arms around him. If it was possible to burn up any more than he already had… _

_ And even so, she leaned in and kissed both of his cheeks. The touch was so delicate, so soft. _

_ So unlike anything he’d ever felt before. _

_ And it felt right. It just did. _

_ “It’s so beautiful!” she sniffles before turning her attention to the scene before her. She gasped again when her eyes fell upon the gifts on her chair. _

_ “Did you…?” she asked. _

_ “I did…” _

_ As excited as she was, she was still a princess. So she handled the gifts with care. But she was trembling with more excitement than her little form could possibly hold. _

_ First came Lotor’s drawing. He agonized over it so much but he finally got something that he was at least, in part, proud of. He’d accepted it. _

_ Such beauty could never be done justice on canvas. But he would keep trying. He would never stop trying. _

_ She looked at it for what seemed to be an eternity. _

_ “Oh Lotor…” she whispered. There was so much emotion in her little voice but it made his heart soar. _

_ “Y-yes?” he stammered. _

_ “Is...is this how you see me?” she asked. _

_ Lotor shyly hummed, “Mhm…” _

_ She looked like she was about to cry. She was so overcome and Lotor was happy about it. He had never had anyone this appreciative of what he did. Allura was different. She was always different. _

_ “Thank you…” _

_ And she went to the next gift, though her eyes lingered on the picture for a few ticks longer. _

_ She delicately unwrapped the large book but Lotor heard the slow, sharp inhale when she realized what it was. _

_ “Lotor, you…” she stopped mid-sentence. _

_ “Yes, Lula. Happy Birthday.” _

_ “I’ve been...I’ve been wanting this boom forever. Wherever did you find it? It’s hard to find!” she was excited. She looked as though she was going to start bouncing all over the room. _

_ “Bookstore in the village,” he answered. “It has the tale of the Lion Goddess!” _

_ “And the tale of her two angels, she squealed excitedly. _

_ She was a strong little girl so she carried the book in one hand and let Lotor to the soft chairs near the window. The feast and the decorations were all forgotten. She was completely transfixed on the book. _

_ Lotor felt a sense of pride. It was a success. But most of all: Allura was happy. _

_ They plopped down and Lotor sat down next to her. They were close. Closer than close. _

_ And it didn’t matter. _

_ She opened to the page where Lotor had seen the drawing of the Lion Goddess and her two angels. _

_ “The white one is Voltron,” she explained. _

_ Lotor nodded, “That makes sense. But...who is the black one?” _

_ Allura shrugged, “The Goddess hasn’t sent for him yet. But he will come to us in our most desperate time of need…” _

_ She seemed so excited and he was looking at her face the whole time, watching as she happily read the story. She didn’t fumble once. _

_ When she finished, she looked back at him. There was such joy in her eyes. _

_ “You’ve made me so happy, Lotor. Thank you for being here. Thank you for making my wish come true...” _

_ His little heart swelled. _

_ “Thank you, Lula. And every deca-phoeb I will continue to make you feel special. Even when we are traveling the stars together…” _

_ She learned into his shoulder and he sighed happily. It was perfect. _

_ He meant it. He would do this every deca-phoeb. _

_ She had made his wish come true after all... _

* * *

Every deca-phoeb indeed…

So full of hope, they were. But that was a different time. But looking at this boy, there was something familiar. 

Lotor had never seen eyes so hopeful or so alive in a long time. It was too genuine to be considered a façade. Even so, Lotor kept his guard up as the boy started leading him somewhere. The wind blew past them and the boy all but skipped. He was a little loud and his voice echoed off of the mountains. 

He was speaking so fast that Lotor had difficulty deciphering what he was saying. 

His ears perked up at the mention of the Lion Goddess, however. 

“The Lion Goddess?” he repeats, making the young boy stop. He lit up. 

“Yes! Or many know her as The Goddess of the Universe,” he explained. “And along with her, the legendary defender, Voltron.” 

Lotor’s stomach was doing flips. How did this boy possibly hear of all this out here when the prince himself had to bend over backwards just to find this information out himself? This little boy echoed the same sentiments as those all around the fringes. But that didn’t explain why he had called him their savior. He remembered the story he had heard as a boy. And the more he wondered, if the stories echoed more of the truth than he had previously thought. 

“I know the story,” Lotor told him. The boy seemed pleased. 

“And that’s where you come in. The goddess has guided you to us. To save us all.” 

The boy motioned to the land before them. Lotor still didn’t understand. It looked beautiful. It looked like Altea. 

It looked like _ home. _

He had to hold back the tears again as the memories replayed once again. His heart still ached for it all. Just as he ached for his princess. She was still not here. She could not see this. 

She probably believed that she was all alone in the universe. And just thinking of that broke his heart once more. 

“It looks beautiful…” 

The boy smiled sadly, “It’ll only remain like that for a few more years. After that…we’ll have to move once more. We’ve done this for millennia and soon there’ll be nowhere left here to go.” 

Lotor looked down at the boy. 

“Do you know why?” he asked. 

Bandor shook his head, “I do not. The planet is rejecting us I suppose…” 

Lotor frowned. He knew that wasn’t the case. Planets didn’t reject. Something else was going on here. Perhaps he would have to speak to someone else. 

“What is your name?” Lotor asked gently.

“Bandor,” he answered, looking back at the prince. 

“Bandor,” Lotor repeated. “Where are the others? Surely you are not by yourself?” 

They continued walking, the boy did not answer. Lotor studied him carefully. The smile was gone and it was replaced with a frown. Lotor stiffened. 

“What is it?” he probably sounded more cautious than he meant to come off. 

“There’s a small village a small ways away. My sister and I live in the outskirts because there is a stream nearby and she works as a laundress for the village. No one really talks to us. Not since our parents disappeared…” 

Lotor would’ve asked. Probably should’ve asked but the boy looked distraught as he said the last bit of information. Bandor, that was his name. He wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings. His excitement showed in his eyes. 

Much like a princess he knew. Much like his own whenever he was allowed to be himself in the days of Altea. 

He looked around once more. At the mountains, at the juniberries. There was a small path that cut through the juniberries and Bandor turned. Lotor followed but his guard was kept up. His eyes moved to his now distant cruiser, ready to head back if anything should happen. 

But he didn’t. There were Alteans here. More Alteans somewhere around and perhaps there was a part of him that remained sentimental. 

And if the boy was speaking truth, then the population was thinning out. 

And if that was the case, he could not allow it to happen. 

Not again. 

But he had to make sure. The boy seemed too bright-eyed to have accurate information. But he was telling the truth as he saw it. 

But he could smell a liar from light-years away. 

This boy wasn’t a liar. This boy had no ill intentions. 

He wanted hope. He wanted to believe that there was a chance for the Alteans that remained. He wanted to believe that things would not always be so dire. He wanted to believe in the stories. It was all that he had to go on. There was nothing wrong with that. 

Lotor could relate to that most strongly…

—

The dwelling was quaint. Comfortable. There was a small gate in front of them. There was a small garden as well. It was just in front of a line of trees. It was lovely and Lotor could remember a time he wished that he could have had this life. 

A quiet life with Allura. He sighed, everything reminded him of Allura.

He had followed a child that he didn’t know back to his cottage because there was something in the boy that Lotor saw in himself. 

No wonder Dayak thought that he was losing his mind. He _ was _acting a bit erratic. 

“My sister should be home by now…” Bandor told him. Lotor didn’t say anything. He simply stood a few feet away from the door, not thinking that it would be appropriate to step into the dwelling of a stranger when the owner was not there. 

“Are you not coming?” he was asked. Bandor stood in front of the open door. Lotor shook his head. 

“I don’t think I should unless your sister is alright with it. It would seem rude…” 

For some reason, the boy seemed to smile at this. 

“Romelllllllllllle!” he hollered inside in a sing-song voice. “I brought a friend. Is it alright if he comes in?” 

He heard the voice of a young woman yelling something but he couldn’t quite make it out from where he was standing. The boy turned to him with the biggest smile on his face. 

“She says it’s alright!” 

Lotor was about to open his mouth but the boy grabbed his hand and tugged him along. And Lotor just allowed him to. 

He nearly hit his head against the door. Right, he was bigger than the average Altean. He had his Galra genetics to thank for that one. And curiously, Bandor didn’t seem the least bit concerned with that. 

Did he not know about the Galra? He imagined any Altean would be wary of the Galra at this point. Or perhaps he had grown up without the fear of being hunted down by them. 

Or perhaps he just didn’t know that Lotor was Galra. That was probably it. That would be a conversation to be had eventually. If it ever got to that point. 

He walked into a small, circular room. In the center of the room, there were sofas arranged in the circular style of the room. Everything was white. And it unnerved Lotor quite a bit. 

It really shouldn’t have. Alfor’s office was a similar color. But that was an office. This was a home. 

“Do they all look like this?” Lotor asked. 

“Sorry?” Bandor asked, turning to look at him.

“These homes. Do they all look like this?” 

Bandor shrugged, “More or less. They’re small but functional.” 

“It’s...lovely,” he looked around and saw that there were two doors, one probably leading to the rest of the dwelling. 

He remembered the villages. They weren’t this colorless but they were about the same size. The Altean family didn’t need much, not the average peasant. He could remember all those years ago when he’d see them as he passed by in a transport or when Allura would drag him along. 

In a way the dwelling reminded him of the time long lost. Everything did and it was hard not to get emotional about it. He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat to keep himself from breaking down in front of a stranger. 

He settled down on the cushions and Bandor settled down opposite of him. He was excitable but he was watching him. He seemed a little giddy as well. 

The boy was putting all of his hopes onto a stranger he had just met. And Lotor didn’t let him down either.

Perhaps because Lotor felt that he _ could _help them. 

“Oh!” Bandor exclaimed, bringing Lotor out of his thoughts. “Romelle knows where the old book is! I’ll ask her to bring it out!” 

“Romelle is your sister?” Lotor asked him. 

“Yes. She’s a little irritable but she’s a lot of fun too! Let me go get her!” Bandor shot up and ran through one of the doors. Lotor sighed and sat back. 

Now what? 

What was he even doing? 

He could leave right now. He needed to find other Alteans and get the situation from someone who wasn’t an adolescent boy. How much could he and his sister who was probably not all that much older than him truly know? 

But something was telling him to stay. Because there would be a clue here. 

A clue as to what though? 

He had to work fast. Time had never really been on his side. He had to figure out what was happening with these people. He had to come up with a solution and he had to tell Allura about this. 

Once again, for the thousandth time, his thoughts went to his princess. He wondered what she was doing right now and where she was. Was she alright? Were these paladins keeping her safe? Were they giving her trouble?

And the millennia long pining came back, this time in a different form. It wasn’t for someone who could never return to him but for that which he could have still. 

And being around Alteans, he missed her even more. Altea had always been more than the culture, the people, and the planet itself. It was the feeling of home. It was the vision of a beautiful princess standing in front of him with her arms wide. It was him being able to run to her. 

_ “You’re home…” _she’d say. 

_ “I am…” _he’d say. 

That’s what he had imagined when he’d come back to Altea after healing the rift between Daibazaal and Altea. He never imagined that he would touch down on an Altea-like planet and not have Allura there waiting for him. 

All these years and it still didn’t feel right to him. And he still felt that missing limb. Even more so right now. 

How much would he think about this? And how much longer till he could see her again? The universe loved to keep him waiting. It just loved seeing how much he could survive. 

He was tired of surviving. He wanted to _ live _. And now, perhaps he could. If he could jump over this one hurdle, maybe the universe would finally be kind. 

He felt like a fool for hoping for personal happiness. But that was the hope of every creature, was it not? 

He heard a faint buzz of chatter from the other side of the door, breaking him away from his thoughts. 

He heard them coming closer. 

“I’m really not sure why you would want to show someone a book of these old fairy tales?” he heard a female voice say. Romelle, he assumed. 

An exasperated sigh, “They’re not old fairy tales Romelle! This is a book written by the ancient sages of Altea! They’re prophetic! Almost everything that’s written here has happened!” 

That caught Lotor’s attention and his ears perked up at that. 

A text from...the ancient sages? 

Could it be? 

Lotor’s heart hammered against his ribcage as the door opened. 

He turned to look and stood up, ready for yet another awkward meeting and explanation. He sincerely doubted that he was going to get the same reaction as he had from Bandor. 

“I’m so sorry for my brother-” the young woman began but when her eyes fell on him, she stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes widened and she immediately stood in front of her brother protectively. In her arms was the old book. 

But it was her appearance that had him nearly wobbling back. She had the same pale hair and the violet eyes as that noble family from Altea. Of that girl Allura had introduced him to so long ago. 

But it wasn’t that girl. Definitely not. She didn’t have the same refinement. And slowly, her shocked expression melted into that of horror and Lotor found himself blinking. 

That was more of the expression that he had been expecting but the outright hostility coming from her. 

“Stay behind me Bandor,” she instructed. 

“But-” Bandor protested but she looked behind to glare. 

“Don’t argue with me!” she hissed. 

“He means us no harm! He’s Altean just like us!” 

She looked back at Lotor, her eyes narrowed, she backed up. 

“Is that what he told you?” Romelle asked. 

Lotor blinked and cleared his throat, “Please, I mean no harm-” 

But she cut him off, “Who are you? What are you doing here? What do you want with my brother?” 

Lotor couldn’t say that he was completely caught off guard by her reaction but it still took him a moment to process it, “I got an Altean distress signal. I was...I had to see it for myself. Please, your brother found me.” 

She looked back to glare at the young boy once again. 

“Bandor, what did I-?” she hissed. 

“We need his help…” Bandor defended. 

“_ Who is he _?” she asked, once again. 

“I- he- never gave me name…” Bandor looked over at Lotor now, silently pleading for backup. 

He cleared his throat, “Forgive me, I’m...Lotor.” 

He looked back and forth between the siblings, none of them seemed to know the name. And that was a relief for him. “I was nearby when I got the distress signal. I thought I was the last of my people so I followed the signal.” 

She didn’t seem convinced and her eyes were still narrowed suspiciously at him. She eyed him up and down, “You told him you are Altean…” 

Her tone was accusatory. He understood, he really did. But this was a little too much, “Yes my mother was Altean.” 

She didn’t stop, “And your father? What was he?”

Lotor was stunned but this Romelle seemed like a smart woman. She was catching onto what Bandor wasn’t. He was about to open his mouth when Bandor stepped out from behind his sister and between the two of them. 

“Romelle stop it! He says he’s Altean. He knows our signal. He wants to help us! Why are you being so rude?” he scolded his sister.

She didn’t seem particularly fazed by this, “You’ve brought a stranger from space into our home. In a universe that would see our heads on a pike and on full display in the Galra Court. Forgive me for being cautious!” 

Bandor looked down but Lotor was surprised. 

“You know of the Galra?” he asked and Romelle was still glaring at him. 

“Yes. Everyone here knows of them…”

“Not everyone,” Bandor mumbles.

“Fine, not everyone. Many do, however. They are not openly discussed. We have spent millennia trying to rebuild our civilization and Bandor has put that all at risk!” 

“Rebuilding? Ha! We are dying out, slowly but surely! Our population is even lower than the books say when we came here! If you want us to survive, we will need help-“ 

“Do you even know this man? Do you believe everything that everyone tells you?” she snapped back at him. “You know what Tavo says about pulling stunts like this!”

“Tavo needs to realize that we cannot do this on our own-“ 

“ENOUGH!” Lotor raises his voice and the two siblings closed their mouths to look at him. Romelle’s glare did not disappear. 

“Please, no quarreling. I meant no trouble…” Lotor had his hand up. 

The young woman had her arms crossed, “So now what, _ savior _?” 

The last bit came out as a sneer and Lotor did all that he could not to glare back at her. He could understand her suspicions, but now it was getting downright disrespectful. He had merely come to learn more. Nothing else. 

But his irritation quickly dissipated when his attention went back to the book. She clutched it close to her and she seemed unwilling to let it go.

“That book…” Lotor pointed. “Where did you get that book?”

Romelle bristled, clutching the book tighter. 

It seemed that the only other one in the room that seemed to have any sense of diplomacy was Bandor. And of course, he intervened. 

“Don’t do that, Romelle. I know you’re scared but-”

“We lost our parents to this quest. Our ancestors spent their whole lives wasting away for empty hope. And now someone shows up from space, claiming to be Altean though I have never seen an Altean like him, and I’m supposed to just accept that and hope in vain?”

“What’s wrong with hope? Romelle, if we send him away, everything our family has ever hoped for will be in vain…” Bandor tried. 

But it was to no avail, the woman didn’t seem to budge. 

“Our family hoped for fairy tales. I will not. We live in a real world. No one can save us. Not even an outsider. But this is an heirloom. Our only piece of Altea!” 

Lotor’s ears perked up. No, no it couldn’t be. Could it? 

“Altea…” Lotor mumbled. And that seemed to make Romelle break her glare for just a moment. She looked as though she wanted to open her mouth but ultimately did not. 

Instead, as it had been, it was Bandor who opened his mouth. 

“It was entrusted to our ancestor before Altea was destroyed. By whom we don’t know, but it was given to us for a purpose…” 

“May I...see it?” he asked slowly and he knew it was probably the wrong thing to ask because Romelle seemed offended by the question. 

“Absolutely not!” she hissed. 

“Absolutely!” Bandor seemed to talk over her and this only aggravated her further. 

“Bandor-!” she growled. 

“I told you! He is the one the ancients spoke of. This book was entrusted to us for a reason and it was not merely to allow it to collect dust. He will not take it, you have my word. But if something can be done and we don’t do it, we’re done for. And I won’t forgive you for it…” Bandor walked over to her and gently tried to pry the ancient text from her hands. Lotor just stood there, not sure what to make of this whole situation. 

“I won’t,” he vowed quietly. He tried to appear as sincere as he possibly could. Romelle was already suspicious of him. She already didn’t trust him. She was probably in shock most of all. 

Bandor has successfully pried the book out of Romelle’s hands and she turned red. Fury or embarrassment, it was hard to tell with this one. 

She stood there, making no attempt to resist as her brother plopped down on the cushions, patting the seat next to him. Lotor slowly sat back down and Bandor placed the book gently in Lotor’s lap. There were tears that had to be fought back. 

A faint scent lingered. The faint scent of the mountains and juniberries. All the same tears and folds. His tiny claw marks were still on the binding. The name of the Ancient Sage Rilfar had long ago faded, but it was still there. How was that even possible after all these years? 

He opened the book with shaky hands, he could feel Romelle’s boring right into him. It was already getting exhausting. 

And he let out a suppressed breath when he looked down at the first page. He felt tears gathering when he saw what was written with the sloppy hand of a 5 year old. 

_ To a most special girl on a most special day. _

_ — L _

—

Romelle didn’t say anything for the rest of the afternoon or evening. She watched him as if she was getting ready to take Lotor out if he so much as made one wrong movement. 

But she seemed a lot more aware of the precarious situation Alteans were in than her bright eyed brother. But she refused to talk to him. She couldn’t look at him without some kind of suspicion. 

Anger even. And he didn’t know why…

Or...was it possible that she knew who he was…?

The very thought sent a chill down his spine but he didn’t have to dwell on it long. 

Bandor was showing him pictures that he had seen before, but never like this. The illustrations of the Goddess, of Voltron, of the other angel, of destruction, and of rebirth. 

It was like having cold water poured on one as they slept. But Lotor’s mouth ran dry. 

Truth be told, he knew that it was written by the ancient sages. But he never thought too critically on what these images could have meant. 

It was as if his entire life was playing out right in front of him. 

But he betrayed nothing as Bandor continued to chime along until dinner. 

And if she could have, Romelle would have probably denied him a meal. He opted to eat out in the sitting room. He’d already disturbed this family’s peace as it was. 

The meal was meager. A single loaf of bread and assorted vegetables. No meat. Even Altean peasants ate better than this. 

And with a garden too. Something was most definitely wrong. On his part, he was too anxious to eat. 

There was entirely too much to think about. It was a new stress on top of an old one. 

That was fine. The universe had led him here…

Romelle sent Bandor straight to bed afterwards and she brought Lotor a flat looking pillow and a blanket. 

The sofa it was, he supposed. Not the worst accommodations he’d been provided admittedly. 

She looked at him coldly, marginally better from the murderous glare mere varga ago. 

And it was quiet when everyone turned in. Dark and quiet. And all he could hear was the sound of his own breathing and how even that was difficult. 

There was so much. So much that had happened and he wasn’t sure how his body had been able to take so much shock. But he was tired. 

So very, very tired. Yet he couldn’t sleep. 

It was too warm. He would’ve slipped off the top of his flight suit, but with a woman so ready to take him out, he was not willing to take that chance. 

His hand made its way to the necklace he wore around his neck. For the first time, he put on his wedding necklace, the one that she had given him that time ago. The one that burned with his life force and her love. It burned so bright. 

Her own necklace was tightly wrapped around his arm as it had always been. He placed that arm on top of his heart. It would be like that until he could place it around her neck once more… 

He turned his attention to the book on the small table next to him, he could still smell the traces of Allura. And he could remember everything from the day that he had given it to her. 

And she had smuggled it away. With someone she trusted. Did she know what was to come? 

Or was it sentimental? 

He had to admit, even he couldn’t figure it out. He smiled a bit. Maybe he didn’t know _ everything _about her. 

His princess. There was always something new to discover about her. 

How he yearned to be close to her again. 

_ Soon darling, soon… _

He told himself that often. Soon couldn’t be soon enough. But this time, he heard it in her voice. 

And Lotor sighed sitting up. This wouldn’t do.

He had promised Dayak and the generals that he would contact them soon and it had been varga. They must’ve been panicking. 

There was a small door that led out to a patio. Once again, he had to duck. 

It was all just so beautiful. So beautiful that it made him tear up just a bit. The moon shone perfectly down on the juniberries giving them a bright pink glow. The moon was full tonight and the stars hung brightly over him. The air around him smelled sweet. Just as every night with Allura had been. 

A bittersweet reminder of Altea’s angel lingered all around even when she had never touched upon a place. 

He sighed, how he wanted to enjoy this moment forever. Just to stay like this, in the thoughts of his wife. 

But Dayak would never let him live in peace if he didn’t contact the ship right away. So very reluctantly, he took out his communicator. 

The response was instant. 

“Sir-!” Acxa sounded a little too surprised for Lotor’s comfort. 

But she was cut off by, “MOVE! Let me talk to this idiot boy!”

He heard some rustling and Acxa making a noise. 

“LOTOR!” Dayak’s voice boomed, making Lotor flinch away for a moment. 

“I’m alright Dayak. Please, I need my ears…” 

“You said you would contact us soon! It’s been half a quintant! I was just about to send Zethrid, Ezor, and Narti to come retrieve you.” 

Once more he flinched. Zethrid and Ezor wouldn’t have made it...easy. He preferred Narti alone actually.

“There is no need. I am just fine. I have found accommodations. You were right, Dayak. There are Alteans. A colony of them, actually.” 

It was a bomb to be dropped indeed. And there were a few gasps followed by complete silence as everyone mulled over what that could possibly mean. 

Lotor wasn’t sure of what it meant either. But he would find out. He had heard a name being dropped. 

_ Tavo _. 

If he was the leader of this settlement, Lotor would most likely find his answers there. In the morning then. 

“You plan on staying there…” it wasn’t a question. Dayak’s voice was even, low. Quiet. 

“Only for a little while. Something is very wrong here. And…” he paused. “They are my people too. They were abandoned once, I cannot abandon them as well. 

He expected Dayak to yell. He expected a lecture. He expected her to come. 

What he didn’t expect was her cooperation. 

“Fine. But you are to check in twice a quintant. Or I will appear there myself…” Classic Dayak. Always a threat to be made in exchange for her cooperation. 

“Of course…”

The communication ended on a pleasant note. 

The night was quiet with the gentle rustling of leaves in the wind. He inhaled. It was lovely. 

He looked up at the sky and exhaled when he saw several shooting stars fly by. It was just as that night...

He closed his eyes and uttered a wish. Then wish And a few more zoomed by. 

And he wished once more. He wished again and again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Romelle and Bandor are in this story. But I have a purpose for them that is completely different from the show's. I have a plan everyone, I promise!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are much appreciated! 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://asennnaa.tumblr.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/asennnaaa)


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